How to Turn a Girl On

Four Parts:Charming HerTurning Up the HeatSealing the DealDriving Her Wild

Your girl seems to know just how to turn you on....but are you ready to turn the tables on her? Whether you're new to the game or you just want to add some spice to your current routine, wikiHow can help you get your girl revved up and ready to go. Get on your way to having her just drooling by getting started with Step 1 below!

Part 1
Charming Her

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    Warm her up. The main key to turning a girl on is taking your time. As fast as guys usually get turned on, girls, and some women, need about that much build up. This means that you'll have to lay a little ground work and take the seduction part nice and slow.
    • A huge part of warming her up, of course, is making her feel comfortable and safe. You're going to see a lot of steps below about respecting her, seeking consent, and otherwise doing things that you might not think of as "turn-ons". Don't neglect them, they're important. Sex is very mental for girls and women and if you help them by making it so that they don't have to worry, then that's half the battle.
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    Make her feel pretty. You know that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you find out that someone thinks you're attractive? That's what you want to create for her. The fact that you think she's pretty is a significant turn-on. Here's how to communicate it without going overboard:
    • Say "Hey, pretty lady" or "Hello, beautiful" when you greet her. It's simple and short, but direct.
    • Pay her a compliment. Lower the volume and tone of your voice slightly, and say something like "You look amazing today" or "I love your eyes."
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    Be the best version of yourself. Be the person who's honestly kind. Who respects her and thinks she's more beautiful than the most picturesque sunset. Be the person who works hard and makes it easier for her to work hard, by helping to shoulder her burdens. This will all mostly keep you from turning her off!
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    Be confident, even if you don't act like it. Some girls like a guy who is nervous and even klutzy around her, but don't overdo it. If the girl is shy, be confident; if the girl is confident, feel free to act somewhat shy. Keep your shoulders straight and your chin high, and don't be afraid to look her in the eyes. You're communicating through your body language that you're strong, brave, and worthy of her attention.
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    Clean up. Shower, put on deodorant, shave, brush your teeth and wear clean clothes. If you're feeling up to it, you can also do your hair and put on a light spray of cologne. Knowing that you're at your physical best will help you act confident and in-charge.
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    Know how to treat a girl like a lady. Save the dirty jokes and discussions of bodily functions for your guy friends. When you're with the girl you like, be polite. Use good table manners, hold the door open for her, and say please and thank you. Good manners aren't necessarily attractive, but bad manners are definitely unattractive, so play it safe.

Part 2
Turning Up the Heat

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    Start with slow, gentle touches. You can do these in passing, at the end of a date, while you're watching a movie, whenever — the point is that they don't have to be saved for when you're already making out. They can, however, indicate that you're interested in doing a little more.
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    Whisper in her ear. Ears are an erogenous zone for both sexes, and the light pressure of your breath will probably feel good. Saying the right things will also turn her on. Try something like: "I couldn't stop thinking about you today".
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    Caress her. Lightly brush the back of your fingers over the side of her face. Bonus points if you can lock eyes with her at the same time.
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    Touch the back of her neck. You can gently run your thumb over her hairline if your arm is already around her shoulders, or offer to give her a quick neck rub. Keep your motions slow and light.
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    Touch her wrists. Always be confident to make the first move; hold her hands. If you're holding hands, lightly stroke the inside of her wrist or her palm. A few slow kisses on the inside of the wrist could work, too.
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    Play with her hair. The scalp is a sensitive area for most people, and the light (repeat: light, not hard) tugging that comes from you playing with her hair will feel nice. Run your fingers through it, twirl it, or stroke it.
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    Touch her leg. If you're fairly sure it won't be unwelcome, try laying a hand on the top of her thigh. This works best if you're both sitting down. Let it rest there lightly. If she seems receptive, you can try slowly moving your thumb back and forth over her leg, keeping the rest of your hand where it is.

Part 3
Sealing the Deal

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    Give her an amazing kiss. If it's done right, a kiss can be the most effective way of getting a girl's attention. Keep your breath fresh with some gum or mouthwash and keep your lips loose. Tight, puckered lips is how you kiss your grandma! You should also keep the tongue action delicate (at first). The motions should be light, soft and alternate between fast and slow.
    • Know where to put your hands. The back of her neck, the sides of her face, or around her waist are all good areas for your hands to rest during a kiss.
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    Look for consent. If you touch a girl in certain areas without her consent, it is sexual assault. A simple "Is this OK?" is enough. If she says yes, you're all clear; if she says no, stop immediately.
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    Tell her what you want. Girls are way more sexual than you, potentially. Give them credit for that and there's nothing wrong with telling them how much you want them (once you've gotten your foot in the door a bit). This actually turns them on! Think about it: you feel turned on when you feel desirable too. Don't be really gross about it but don't be afraid to tell them how sexy you think they are and how you can't wait to get them in bed.
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    Focus on more intimate erogenous zones. If you tried some of the suggestions above and she seemed receptive, here are some more intimate areas you can work with, using light touches and soft, slow kisses.
    • Neck, throat, collarbones and shoulders
    • Feet and ankles
    • The small of her back (toward the bottom of the spine)
    • Back of the knees
    • Inner thighs
    • Ears
    • The inside of her upper arm
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    Keep some variety. If you find an area where she likes to be touched, don't overuse it. Instead, back away from it for awhile and slowly make your way back, touching everything around and up to it. The anticipation will make it more intense when you finally do touch her.
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    Leave her wanting more. Leaving before the other person gets bored is a good rule for most social interactions, but it's particularly important here. If you break off contact while she's still interested, you'll be on her mind constantly.

Part 4
Driving Her Wild

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    Pay attention to lubrication. Because women take longer to warm up, repeated...friction can cause skin to become sensitive or even painful. Get a quality, water-soluble lubricant to keep everything slick and sexy-feeling if you plan on some prolonged fun times. This goes for your lips too!
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    Kiss around her mouth. Take your finger and run it very lightly around the edge of your lips. Do you feel that? There's some very sensitive skin around the edge of the mouth. Kiss her just at the corner of the mouth and deny her a proper kiss for a few minutes (no matter how much she tries). You'll drive her crazy.
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    Master the stomach, side, and pelvic kiss. The neck and inner thighs tend to be the obvious spots. So obvious, in fact, that we forget how sensitive other parts of the body are. If you want to get her writhing, trail some kisses along the side of her ribs (that spot that's so easy to tickle), the curve of her stomach just past where her abs are, and the protruding bit of her hip bone (usually found just above or just below the waistband).
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    Take your time when you undress her. Don't undress her too fast and when you do undress her, make it a part of the experience, rather than just a hurdle. Women spend a lot of time making themselves look nice. When you just rip everything off without appreciating it, it's like you got handed a pristinely wrapped present and didn't even care.
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    Introduce just a smidgen of kink. You don't have to go wild, but a blindfold or tying her hands back with a silk scarf can force her to focus on what she's feeling. Just make sure she consents!
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    Learn some anatomy. If you really want to get serious, one of the better ways to really physically turn her on is to make use of her anatomy. Get a good primer on female anatomy and start experimenting. The clitoris is your friend. Find it. Master it. But don't neglect all of the other sensitive areas around it! Good luck


  • Try kissing her on her neck. Girls like it.
  • Hug her from behind. You get your hands on her waist, and it turns her on.
  • Hold her from the back and kiss her neck.
  • Never pressure her; it'll make her feel angry or scared, but not turned on. When she says stop, you stop. Once you push too hard, she loses trust in you.
  • Make her feel wanted.
  • Make her feel happy about herself.
  • Don't be rude or do any thing that makes her feel uncomfortable.
  • Teasing can be fun for some girls. Tickle her. Piggyback rides seem elementary but there are many touching opportunities with it. Wrap your arms around her in a big, warm, gentle hug. Massage her back. Play with her hair!
  • While making out, try to slightly move your head back making her lean in, in a playful teasing way. (This will work well if at least one of the both of you are holding each other).
  • Be kind, hugs help, holding hands is amazing. You'll learn the girl just by being with her. A lot of girls are different.
  • Be playful.
  • Don't touch her "private" parts a lot — she might find it uncomfortable. Instead, aim for her hands —girls like guys who hold hands. You can also try holding her waist while kissing (this works best when you two are standing).
  • Run your finger tips across the back of her neck, squeezing it softly with your thumb and first finger. Then run your fingers down her back, but not touching her bottom!
  • While you are kissing her, gently grasp the back of her arm with one hand and place your other hand on her cheek or on her side between her hip and her ribs.
  • Girls love foot rubs.
  • Don't intimidate her too much because she will feel that you are being rude to her.
  • Hug her behind and lay your head on her shoulder..
  • Kiss her ear, neck, collarbone, and the small of her back.
  • Start off by kissing her once on the neck, then give her small gentle kisses leading up to her mouth, this is a very sexy but simple way to turn a girl on.
  • Take her in close by putting your hand on her face while you're kissing and have your bodies as close as possible. If she's ok with it swipe your hand across her breast.


  • If she says no, then stop.
  • If she does not respond, stop and ask her what's wrong. Unless she gives a clear "yes", assume it is a "no".
  • If she is drunk, she cannot give proper consent and taking advantage of her would be considered sexual assault.
  • It's no okay for a man to turn on a girl. If you think of yourself as a man, work on turning on women, if you're a boy, turn on girls by all means.

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