How to Think of Stuff to Talk About with Your Boyfriend

Tired of running into those awkward silences when you talk to your boyfriend? After you've gotten to know someone well, it can be difficult to come up with new topics of conversation. It's not impossible, though! Follow these steps to keep your discussions fresh and interesting, whether you're talking in person, chatting online, or texting.


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    Ask about topics that you know he finds interesting. People in general are most comfortable talking about themselves or their interests. Why? Because it's something they know pretty well and have mulled over. Here are some ideas for things to ask about:
    • How his day went
    • His past experiences (like where he lived as a kid, what he liked doing, who's important to him in his family)
    • His hobbies
    • His favorite activities
    • His favorite books, movies or music.
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    Stay informed. If you can find time to watch or read the news, you'll have more topics floating around your mind. Keep up on current events, funny clips of comedy shows, or viral internet stories. When the conversation lulls, ask your boyfriend if he's heard of what you read or saw recently. If he has, you two can talk about what you think. If not, now is the perfect time to tell him all about it.
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    Talk about hypothetical situations. Would you rather be blind or deaf? Would you choose subsisting solely on spinach over listening to Christmas songs for 8 hours a day for the rest of your life? Try to come up with interesting, funny or complicated situations, and ask your boyfriend what he'd prefer. When he answers, ask him to defend his choice.
    • Play devil's advocate. Present a counterpoint to whatever your boyfriend says, so that he's forced to re-evaluate his choice. Make it clear that you're just trying to make the conversation more interesting––you're not actually trying to disagree at every turn.
    • Some more hypothetical questions to ask: "What keeps you awake at night?" "If you could live your life to this point over again, what would you do differently?" and "What couldn't you live without?" (or, "If you could only keep 10 things, what would they be?".
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    Ask him to tell you something you don't know. It can be something about himself, or a fact you don't know. Whatever it is, you're sure to learn something. If you want to be more specific, ask him to tell you something new about one of his hobbies.
    • Nostalgia is a good bet here. Ask him about his first memory, his first day at school, his first toy and his first birthday party that he can remember. It's a great way to get to know about the things that matter to him and what he was like when he was a child.
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    Ask him things that are quirky. This can lead to fun, entertaining questions when you're both already in a good mood. Questions like: "Do you still believe in Santa?", "If you had to choose between the TV and the Internet, which one would you get rid of?" and "If there were no clocks, what do you think life would be like?". Keep the conversation light and amusing, no answer is the wrong one!
    • Tell him a few jokes that are quite funny and laugh along with him (provided he has a good sense of humor).
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    Be complimentary. Tell him how, and why, you loved a particular date. For an example you might say, "I loved when you took me out to dinner. It was such a beautiful restaurant that it made me feel extra special."
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    Discuss the future. Talk about the things you'd like to do someday––maybe you want to visit Crete, star in a play, write a novel, or live on a boat. Ask about what he's dreamed of doing. Here are some possible topics:
    • Where you want to go to school
    • What you want to study
    • Where you want to live
    • Where you want to travel
    • Possible hobbies
    • What job you want to have.
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    Play a game. It could be a board game, online game, or video game––whatever you choose. If you're competing against each other, you can gently trash talk and rib your boyfriend. If you're playing on the same team, you can discuss strategy and gameplay. Try these classics:
    • Chess
    • Checkers
    • Scrabble
    • Speed
    • Egyptian Rat Screw
    • Sorry
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    Listen actively. The art of talking with another person includes a lot of listening that encourages the other person to talk more. Show your boyfriend that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say by acknowledging the things he says, using affirmative statements and body language as he speaks and summarizing aspects of what he tells you so that he knows you've taken it on board.
    • If it's early in your relationship and you encounter a lot of silences, try to keep conversations to no more than an hour at first. Talking too much can make even a fresh relationship seem stale and boring.
    • Let him know you're still there. Small talk can turn into silence very quickly.


  • Be yourself and don't act fake. It will make you more nervous trying to be "perfect" around him. Remember, he choose you for who 'you' are.
  • Always be your self around him.
  • Be yourself by being honest about what's on your mind.
  • When joking about him, make sure he gets it so he doesn't feel embarrassed. That could lead to awkward silences or just a plain bad impression.
  • Just relax! He is your boyfriend after all. Even if you run out of things to talk about, the awkward silence will disappear quicker than you know it.
  • Always tell your boyfriend how you feel.
  • Flirt. A lot of guys enjoy the thrill of the hunt and miss it in a relationship.
  • If it gets awkward or if you run out of things to say, offer a game of Truth or Dare; it livens up a boring conversation quite quickly!
  • Tell him if you're shy or quiet––he loves you, so he'll understand!
  • Hold his hand(s) while talking. It can make it seem less awkward to some people.
  • Sometimes, when you run out of things to say, you don't need words anymore and it could be time for a kiss.
  • Don't be shy towards him.
  • Turn on a movie or music to break the awkwardness and that could bring up music, favourite celebrities, favourite movies etc.
  • Tell him the good points about your family and your hobbies, which will make him ask questions you can answer to liven the conversation.
  • Ask him to go on a walk with you. This can create a relaxing and peaceful environment.
  • Monopoly or scrabble is a great icebreaker. A two player video game is too.
  • Bring up something funny in the news like Honey Boo Boo's mom, Mama June, getting married and her crazy dress.
  • Just be yourself.
  • If you haven't seen your boyfriend for a while, try (you) starting the conversation.
  • Mention a topic you know he could go on and on about.
  • If he loves you than you can tell him everything. So don't worry you can do it you go girl or boy.
  • Just talk about your relationship, examples being: highlights of being together, fun memories, etc.
  • Don't act like "Hey, we're talking now and how about we talk tomorrow and the day after that. Do you want to hang with me during lunch!?" It may seem clingy.


  • Don't lie just to have something to talk about.
  • Topics to avoid when your relationship is young and new include: marriage, children, expensive gifts and dislike of his family. Be very careful with any conversation that places both of you in the future, "as a couple", until you're sure both of you are meant for one another.
  • Never say I love you to make conversation. Say it when you are absolutely ready. He'll feel uncomfortable with this statement if it's used as a silence filler and so would you.
  • Forget about your past boyfriends! Listening to you talk about them can make him feel awkward, especially if you brag or bag them. He'll be wondering how he'll size up in your mind and won't like the comparison.
  • Avoid complaining or whining as a form of talking. Nobody can bear this for very long and if it becomes a habit, it demonstrates that you lack self-esteem and find the need to bring down other people just to find something to say.
  • Don't brag or gossip about your friends. It makes you look bad.

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