How to Tell Your Date You Want to See Them Again

Three Methods:Asking for Another DateUsing Your Body LanguageMaking a Connection

Setting up and going on a first date can be tough enough. Knowing when and how to ask for another date can be even more challenging. Exactly how and when you ask for another date will depend on how well your first one went. You can let your date know you want to see them again by getting up the courage to ask for another date and displaying positive body language. You should also work on creating a strong connection with your date so they are more inclined to say "yes" to seeing you again.

Method 1
Asking for Another Date

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    Be direct. Be clear and honest when asking someone for another date. Try to work through any nervousness and be direct with them so they get a chance to agree to see you again. Avoid stammering, stuttering, or speaking unclearly. Always try to be as clear and direct as you can when asking about the next date.[1]
    • Avoid seeking their approval when asking for another date. Saying something like “I'd really like to see you again. I hope you had fun and liked me.” should be avoided.
    • Take your time, speaking slowly and clearly. Speaking too quickly can make it seem like you are nervous. You may say, "I had a great time tonight, can we see each other again?" Or, "I feel like we made a connection tonight. Let's go out again soon."
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    Ask in person. Asking for another date in person can be a great way to get instant feedback. You may also appear more confident and appealing if you ask about the next date in person. If you feel like your time together is going well, try asking when they want to go on the next date, before parting ways.[2]
    • You'll be able to gauge their interest level before, during and after you ask. Asking in person will let you judge when the best moment to ask might be.
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    Try a phone call. Calling your date can be a straightforward way to see if they want to go out again. Although texting is a popular method of asking someone out on another date, calling can bring its own benefits. Try calling by phone to send a more personal and direct message.[3]
    • As with asking in person, calling gives you the benefit of being able to pick on signals from tone, pace, or hesitation in the person's voice. Sometimes what is not said is just as important as what is said. You can get cues that you can't get from texting.
    • Calling by phone can make you stand out. A phone call can show that you are a mature and confident person. Phone calls can also be a better way to show your personality.
    • For example, during the phone call you may say, "I had a great time last night. Can we go out again soon?" Or, "I feel like we connected well last night. Let's set up another date."
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    Send a text or email. Although phone calls have a personal touch, sending a text or email is often the preferred method of contact when asking about another date. Sending an email or text will allow your date time to think and reply, taking some of the pressure away that a phone call would have. Try to send a text or email when asking about another date to help increase your chances of them saying yes.[4]
    • Texts and emails can be sent, received and replied to at any time, unlike phone calls.
    • You might try texting something like, "I had so much fun at the movies with you the other night! Would you like to have dinner with me on Thursday?”
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    Suggest something special for your next date. Going on a second date is a good chance for you to show a bit more of your personality and do something exciting. Although it can be tempting to play it safe, taking your date somewhere different or energizing can be a good idea. Think of some fun and exciting places you can visit together to increase your chances of a second date.[5]
    • Trying out a cooking class together can be a fun way for you both to team up and learn something new. You could also take the person to your favorite spot in the city or do an activity they might enjoy, such as a picnic in the park or a drive-in movie theater.
    • Picking an unappealing venue or activity can make it less likely that your date will agree to going out again. You might want to avoid going out for coffee or to a bar on your second date and opt instead for something more special or unique.
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    Don't wait too long before asking for another date. Waiting too long to ask for another date can cause your date to wonder if you're still interested. They may start to doubt how well things went or if things really worked out between you. To avoid having your date move on or worry about where things are at, try asking them as soon as you can for another date.[6][7]
    • Don't wait more than a day after your last date to ask about the next one.
    • Waiting for more than three days after your first date is generally too long.
    • Asking about another date quickly can help increase the likelihood of the other person agreeing.

Method 2
Using Your Body Language

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    Make eye contact. On your date, you can make eye contact to send a simple and direct message that you're interested in the person you're with. Maintaining good eye contact will let your date know that you want to hear what they have to say and that you are enjoying your time together. Try to make good eye contact with your date to let them know you'd like to see more of them.[8]
    • Avoid staring contests. Try looking at something else to make eye contact breaks occasionally.
    • Lack of eye contact can mean that you or your date is uninterested or shy.
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    Break the touch barrier. Physical touch is a powerful message that you can send, letting your date know that you're really enjoying their company. You can try moving closer to them, putting your arm around them or even holding their hand. Take note of how they respond to learn if they might be as interested in another date as you are.[9][10]
    • You can break the touch barrier by lightly touching their arm or hand while you are laughing at something they have said. Or you may brush the person's hair out of their eyes or fix their hair for them to introduce some physical touch.
    • If you notice your date moving away from you or stiffening up, there is a good chance that your touch has made them uncomfortable. You should move away and stop touching them.
    • If your date moves closer to you or reciprocates the touch, they are likely comfortable and interested in you.
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    Use mirroring. Mirroring is the natural tendency for people who are getting along to copy one another's movements and behaviors. To help show that you're interested in your date and build a better connection, you can try subtly mimicking some of your date's motions. Looking for signs that your date is copying your motions can also be a hint that they are interested in you.[11][12]
    • Mirroring will generally be a natural and unconscious action.
    • Facial expressions, tone of voice and posture are all examples of behaviors that can be mirrored. For example, perhaps if your date leans towards you, you lean towards them also. If your date tilts their head when they look at you, you may do the same.
    • If you try to copy your date's behaviors, avoid doing so too obviously. Blatantly copying someone else's motions can actually cause them to dislike you. Don't mirror every single move your date makes, and allow a few seconds to pass before you mirror their actions.

Method 3
Making a Connection

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    Mention upcoming plans. Instead of directly asking about the next date, you can try suggesting one. Offering a suggestion can be a gentle approach, allowing you to make your plans known without pushing it on the other person. Suggesting an activity can also also allow your date to have their input known, giving them an active role in planning the date.[13]
    • You might open by saying “What are your plans this weekend? I'm going bowling and wondered if you might want to go with me.”
    • Try to phrase the date as an idea or alternative to whatever they had originally planned.
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    Gauge their interest. During a date, you'll want to judge how interested the other person seems to be. If you think they are having a great time and feel that there is a real connection between both of you, it's likely that another date is on the horizon. Take a look at some of these behavioral examples to learn if your date might be interested in seeing you again:[14]
    • The date should have felt relaxed after you overcame the initial nerves of meeting.
    • If the conversation felt forced or was absent, your date might not be interested in going out again.
    • You and your date should both be naturally curious about one another.
    • If there really isn't an effort to learn more about one another, it might not be a good idea to ask for another date.
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    Act confident. Although you may be nervous on your first or second date, being confident can be a big help. Displaying behaviors that let your date know that you are relaxed, comfortable and confident can all help make you more interesting and attractive. Try using some of these tips to help you look and feel confident on your date:[15]
    • You can act confident by maintaining straight body posture and maintaining eye contact with the person you are addressing. You can walk confidently by keeping your head level and facing straight ahead, rather than towards the ground. Smiling and acknowledging others around you can also project confidence.
    • Sitting in a somewhat expansive position can also convey confidence. Sitting with one ankle resting on the opposite knee or with one arm resting over an adjacent chair can open up your posture.
    • Watch some examples of people who appear confident and self-assured. Try to copy the way they walk and move to help make you feel more confident yourself.
    • Think of your accomplishments to remind yourself that you are a capable and unique individual. But don't be arrogant or overly self-confident. Try to relax and keep the focus on your date, rather than your own strengths.
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    Have fun together. Going on a first date can be a stressful time; however, being stressed out on a date can actually make things more difficult. Relaxing and being yourself are always good ideas when going on your first date. The less stress you feel, the more fun you'll be able to have, making it more likely that a second date is in the future.[16]
    • You can have fun with your date by opting for a more activity oriented date like bowling, playing board games, or going for a romantic bike ride around the city. You should focus on how you can keep your date entertained and engaged on the date so it feels fun for both of you.

Article Info

Categories: Long Term Dating | Commitment Issues