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How to Tell a Girl You Love Her (Teenagers)

Three Parts:Preparing to Say, “I Love You”Telling Her “I Love You”Determining If You Love Her

When you tell a girl you love her, the state of your relationship hangs in the balance for a brief, nerve wracking moment. Before you reach this moment of immense vulnerability, be certain about your feelings for her, as love can be especially confusing during your teenage years. When you're ready to tell a girl you love her, grand gestures aren't necessary: simply tell her your feelings genuinely and directly in a private place and time, and give her the chance to process and respond according to her own feelings.

Part 1
Preparing to Say, “I Love You”

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    Practice what you are going to say. Saying “I love you” for the first time is really scary. If you’re nervous, planning what you are going to say can boost your confidence. Think about what you want her to know—will you just say, “I love you,” or will you provide her with reasons why you love her? Will you tell her when you fell in love with her? Do you want her to know how special she is to you? Are you going to say “I love you” with a grand, romantic gesture? Once you know what you want to say, rehearse your declaration of love. When it’s time to tell her how you feel, you’ll be prepared and confident.[1]
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    Find the right time and place. Telling someone you love them is a personal, special affair. You want the moment to be perfect. Pick a location that is private, perhaps even meaningful to your relationship, and a time that is appropriate.
    • Don't express your love for her in the middle of class.
    • If you are with a group of people, pull her aside.
    • You can plan a special date for the occasion. Take her on a walk or a picnic. Tell her during a dinner you prepared for her.[2]
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    Don’t assume that she loves you too. In addition to preparing what you will say, you should also prepare for her response to those three little words. Ideally, she will say, “I love you too!” However, she may not feel the same way about you.
    • She might ignore your comment or divert the conversation to a new topic. If this happens, do not ask her, “well, do you love me too?” If she had wanted to respond, she would have. Instead be prepared to give her some time and space to digest what you said. Try to go on with the date as normal.
    • Prepare yourself for the chance that her response will be, “I don’t love you” or “I don’t feel that way yet.” Although this is not the response you were hoping for, it is important that you remain calm and mature. Have a positive, kind response prepared—your maturity just might impress her.[3]

Part 2
Telling Her “I Love You”

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    Say, “I love you.” When the two of you are alone and the moment feels right, muster up the confidence to tell her, “I love you.” Look her in the eye, smile, and tell her, “I love you.” The timing doesn’t need to be perfect and the moment doesn’t have to be accompanied by a grand gesture, it just needs to be genuine.
    • Tell her when you fell in love with her and or why you love her.[4]
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    Show her that you love her. In addition to telling her “I love you,” you can also show her how much you care. Always treat her with respect and kindness—don’t mistreat her or abuse her trust. Go out of your way to make her happy—if she’s having a rough day, bring her flowers to cheer her up. Stand up for her—when someone bullies her, shut down their negative behavior. Support her—attend all of her sporting events, write her notes of encouragement, and help her meet her goals.
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    Write her a love note. While some people prefer to say, “I love you,” others have an easier time expressing themselves through writing—everyone loves a good love note! Write a heart-felt love letter or a sincere poem. When the moment feels right, hand her the note in passing, give it to her with a small gift, or slip it in her hand at the end of the date.[5]
    • Don't text or private message her, "I love you."
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    Be considerate of her response. After she has heard or read those three little words, give her a moment to process and react. Don’t press her for an immediate response. Don’t tell her how you thought she would feel or react. When she is ready to respond, give her your complete attention. Listen to what she has to say and react accordingly. Hopefully she will return the sentiment and say, “I love you too!”[6]

Part 3
Determining If You Love Her

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    Consider if you try to impress her. When you are in love with a girl, you are willing to do anything that makes her like you and notice you. You may try to impress her by taking risks or going above and beyond to help others. You may also try to impress her with your ability to play an instrument or play a sport. If your actions are now driven by the ulterior motive of catching her attention, you may truly love her.[7]
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    Determine if she is always on your mind. When you love a girl, it is very common to think about her constantly. Do you find that your mind unexpectedly wanders to thoughts of her throughout the day? Have you stopped to wonder if she is thinking about you too? If she is constantly on your mind, you may love her.[8]
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    Evaluate if she makes you want to be a better person. When you fall in love with a girl, you may have a strong desire to become the man you feel she deserves. You may feel the need to improve your grades or behavior at school. You may start working out or attending a religious service. If you are willing to make an effort to improve yourself on her behalf, you may be in love with an incredible girl.[9]
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    Examine if you want to see her happy. As you fall in love with a girl, you may make it your priority to make her happy. In order to ease her stress during exam week, you may volunteer to help her study, revise her paper, or complete her chores. When she becomes sick, you may insist on taking care of her and getting whatever she needs. When she is having a rough day, you may go out of your way to make her laugh and smile so she forgets about her troubles. If you are devoting time and energy to making her happy, you may love her.[10]
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    Be certain about your decision. The three little words, “I love you,” pack a huge meaning. Once you express your love, the nature of your relationship with this girl will change for better or for worse. Prior to making this declaration, ask yourself the following questions:
    • Are you truly in love with her?
    • Does she share your understanding of the word “love?”
    • Are you telling her “I love you” in the hopes that you will get something in return.[11]


  • Try not to get too nervous and just be yourself all the way up until you say it.
  • When you do say you love her, make sure you mean it.
  • Practice to a mirror many times.
  • Be yourself.
  • Give her all your attention and avoid looking distracted.
  • If she doesn't say "I love you" back, don't worry. She might just not be ready to express her feelings yet.
  • Tell her how you feel emotionally and wait for her to respond.


  • Be prepared for anything to happen after you say it.
  • Don't abuse the "I love you." It makes it meaningless and dull.
  • Don't ever lie.

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