How to Solve Your Friend Problem

If you've clicked on this article, you're probably going through a rough patch with a couple of your friends. Sometimes, friends have arguments and they might not/don't involve you. Most of the time - if not all of the time - this damages your ties to both/all of your friends. There are a couple of things you could do about this - hopefully - without having to cut the cord with anybody.

  • Note: These situations generally happen in a group of friends. If you're the one having trouble with a friend - this article is not for you.
  • If you've had enough of constant arguments and/or bitching, keep reading, because we've all been through it.
  • These steps show you the correct route towards making your friendship easy-going again (unless you have an enjoyable, tense friendship).


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    Identify the problem as it's the key. If you don't know what the problem is, you can't fix it. Most of the time, it's easy to figure out what's getting them all fussy, but a sure-fire way of figuring it out is going up to to one member of the conflict, and ask: "So, how's your friendship with so-and-so going? You guys good?" Generally, they'll bitch and rant about the other person to the point where you know their family's health history.
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    Tell the arguing friends that you are getting sick and tired of their constant fighting. It sometimes resolves the issue, because they leave you alone and fight somewhere else. Most of the time, however, this does not happen. They usually say, "Oh, I'm sorry. By the way, do you know what he/she did yesterday?!"
    • They will carry on complaining/backbiting about the other person until the cows come home. What you have to do, is ask them very politely, "can you please not talk about him/her because he/she is my friend. I don't really want to know this."
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    Ignore them. Sometimes, if you don't acknowledge their ranting and whining, they realize that nobody cares about their problems. Whenever they bring it up, just change the topic to something else. If you can't think of anything to change the topic to, just say, "what is the world coming to, eh?" and hope that someone catches on to your blatant change of subject.
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    Ask each of them to stop - separately. If you approach them, one-on-one, they might realize what they're doing is annoying and damaging your friendship with them. If you tell them, "Hey, I don't like what you're doing, and other people have noticed too" they might think again before complaining about their problems.
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    If all else fails, hold an intervention. (Yes, "How I Met Your Mother reference")
    • Bring the two rivaling opponents together and sit them down. (If you have problems with that, ask each of them to face opposite directions so they won't have to stare at each other/confront each other.)
    • Ask someone to be the mediator - someone unbiased who will listen to the problem.(Hey, that could be you. You could be the mediator, if you try not to bring in your opinion, and listen to both sides of the argument).
      • The mediator must ask one person to speak at a time, and the other person be allowed to respond - calmly, and without shouting. If they do get out of control, ask them to sit down and listen to what the other person has to say. When the problem is revealed, the mediator is the only person allowed to give a solution to the problem - they shouldn't ask the advice of biased people, as this will make the situation worse.
    • If an intervention doesn't work leave them to solve it on their own - you can't help them anymore. Also, if they try to talk to you, you must ask them to leave the conversation and come back when they've gotten closure with the other person. That way, your friendship is intact.


  • Try not to spend all of your time trying to fix a situation that doesn't involve you - only get involved if your friendship is failing because of their issues.


  • Do not gang up on them - they will feel embarrassed and upset at you too.

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Categories: Handling Friendship Problems | Friendship Problems