How to Skive off Church

If you don't want to go to church, you can try to get out of it. What you do will depend a lot on your church, your family, and yourself.


  1. Image titled Skive off Church Step 1
    Figure out why you don't want to go to church. "I don't feel like it" may be enough of a reason for you, but it might not be enough for your family.
  2. Image titled Skive off Church Step 2
    Think about your past record. If you normally like to go to church but you don't care for it any more, consider talking to your family about the reason why. If you never liked church and you want to stop going, go on to the next steps.
  3. Image titled Skive off Church Step 3
    Be prepared for resistance. If your family goes to church on a regular basis and expects you to go along, you will have to either explain your situation or bargain with them.
  4. Image titled Skive off Church Step 4
    Explain to your parents how important another activity is to you if there's something specific you want to do instead. Tell them you will still keep going to church, but you want to skip just this once.
  5. Image titled Skive off Church Step 5
    Try to find some other religious activities you could do, such as a youth group, if you don't want to go to church at all. Offer to go to one of those activities instead of attending church with your parents.
  6. Image titled Skive off Church Step 6
    Seek their compassion. If you're mature enough to make your own decisions and have your own beliefs, explain your own spiritual situation to them. May be you've lost interest in their church, but you still have your faith? Have a serious talk with your family about your faith and explain to them why you don't want to go to their church.
  7. Image titled Skive off Church Step 7
    Confront your parents if your own beliefs vary with their church's beliefs. If you don't want to go because you feel your family's religion is not right for you, think it over carefully and articulate the reasons. Write down exactly how you feel, in as clear and detailed a manner as possible. Think like you're presenting an argument for the debate team, so don't be impassioned and irrational about it. Explain how you feel to your family and be prepared for some resistance since this is a big declaration to make.
  8. Image titled Skive off Church Step 8
    This may not work, but if you are desperate enough, then say to your parents something like this "Do you want your children to be happy?" Chances are they will say yes. Then say "Well, how do you think it makes ME feel to be dragged to church without any say?" Try to protest about it so much that it gets on their nerves and then you eventually won't have to go to church.


  • If you've found another religion you prefer to your family's tradition, slowly introduce them to your new faith. Don't start by getting a tattoo or announcing you've been initiated into a strange Circle. Don't do anything that will shock or scare your family. Start by dropping subtle hints or asking questions.
  • You will always have more bargaining power with your family if your homework is done, your grades are good, your appearance is respectable and your room is tidy. If you want more leverage, get these things in order before you start asking for favors.
  • Your family might feel better about your spiritual welfare if you demonstrate that you are still doing "good deeds" such as volunteering and being kind to others.
  • You can try going to church and sitting apart from your family. Sitting with people you like better might be more fun.
  • Remember that it is you are your own person and that your family can not force you to believe anything of their preference.


  • Don't try to get out of church by pretending you're sick or injured. At best, it will only work once or twice. And your family might see right through it the first time anyway. At worst, they may drag you to church so the people there can pray for your healing.
  • You might possibly be faced with the problem of a parent that whenever you even hint at the subject, gets very 'disappointed' and proceeds to give you The Spanish Inquisition about your faith and other habits. Don't be discouraged by this. Proceed to explain your side of the conversation in a very calm, respectful and mature manner. Do not make any attempts to point the matter into argument zone. If your parent beings to get fed up, testy, highly offended,etc., back off. Cautiously bring it up at a better date.
  • Consider why you don't want to go to church and be honest with yourself (with more easygoing parents converting to atheism can be a great way to lose all commitment but parents may react badly and hit you, force you to church weekly and to confession,disown you, and possibly anoint you regularly with holy water.)
  • If your family freaks out and associates skipping out on church with the condemnation of hell, then you have a larger problem. Proceed with great caution.
  • If your family hints at the face that bringing up the subject again will either land you a private counseling session with the minister or a month of grounding, by no means continue. Retreat immediately at all costs.
  • Don't ever be afraid to question. If someone tells you not to ask questions, you might be asking the wrong person or they might not know the answer. Try going higher up. If the highest-ranking church official you can find still refuses to answer your questions, then the church you're talking to is not the right one for you.
  • Just as there is no perfect church or parent, most parents and churches want the best for those under their roof. Your time at home will hopefully be a small fraction of your lifetime. If you value a good future relationship with your parents, consider not rocking the boat while in their house. After all, it is just part of one day a week.

Article Info

Categories: Church Management and Maintenance