How to Show People Your Religious View Is Separate from Your Sexual Orientation

Three Methods:Understanding YourselfSharing Your ViewsExplaining to Confused People

One's religious views are most definitely separate from one's sexual orientation. If someone you know does not understand this, feel free to sit them down and explain each topic and how they are not interconnected. Here are a few steps you could follow to try and help clear this subject up.

Method 1
Understanding Yourself

It's hard to explain your views and identity if you aren't exactly sure what they are. Introspection and learning can help you find who you are and what you believe.

  1. Image titled Break Growth Barriers in Your Church Step 6
    Figure out your exact religious views. Try researching your religion, as well as any sects it has, and perhaps other religions too. You may also find prayer to be useful. Ask yourself...
    • How does God (or the gods) feel about sexuality?
    • What does your religion say about how to treat people who are different?
  2. Image titled Look Great As a Gay Man Step 14
    Take time to consider your sexuality. Learn about different identities—from lesbian to bisexual to aromantic. You may find that it helps to have a word for your sexuality, or you may not care much for labels. Your identity is your own, and you will understand and accept it at your own pace.
  3. Image titled Adopt a Child if You Are Gay Step 14
    Find an LGBT community where you feel comfortable. You may choose to actively participate there, or just read/listen to what other people have to say. This can help you understand yourself and others, and inform your worldview.
  4. Image titled Break Growth Barriers in Your Church Step 14
    Find religious groups or websites that discuss human sexuality. What do these groups of people feel? Do you agree with them? Consider whether your views upon sexuality align with those of your church, or if you are at odds with your religious leaders.
    • For some people, their church's view upon sexuality is a dealbreaker, and they switch to another church or stop being religious.
    • Some people feel that while their religion's views on sexuality are undesirable, the rest of the religion has enough merits to make them stay in the church. You are not obligated to agree with everything your religious leaders say.
    • Some people find a church that shares their views on sexuality.
  5. Image titled Study for a Geography Exam Step 2
    Form a basic outline of what you might say if someone asks. Having a general sense of what to say can help you be prepared to communicate your views. Here are some things to consider for your outline...
    • Discuss how your personal religious beliefs tie into accepting people of all sexualities.
    • Assure people that you do not share the beliefs of religious fanatics (for example, the Westboro Baptist Church).
    • Define your religion and/or sexuality, especially if they are obscure.

Method 2
Sharing Your Views

  1. Image titled Educate Your Co Workers About Gay and Lesbian Issues Step 7
    Try wearing symbolism that evokes both your religion and your sexuality. Maybe this means wearing hijab along with a rainbow bracelet, or an asexuality shirt and a Christian cross necklace. This shows your views to anyone who happens to look.
    • If you are from a minority religion, or are wearing your LGBTQIA status openly, you may be at increased risk for discrimination. This is not fair, but it does happen, and you will want to consider it before going public.
  2. Image titled Win a Guy's Heart Step 7
    Show an accepting attitude through your actions. If you want people to know that you are LGBT-friendly, then be kind to LGBT people. An accepting attitude communicates to other people that they are safe around you,
    • Many religions talk about kindness, love, and not judging others. Drawing upon this may help you cultivate a compassionate attitude.
  3. Image titled Ignore Your Sister or Brother Step 1
    Distance yourself from bigotry (whether it has religious overtones or not). This is especially important if sometimes people of your religion try to use religion to argue against LGBT rights. This will make it clear to others that you are not part of one of the anti-LGBT sects of your religion.
    • "What a weird sect. I can't imagine spending so much energy on fighting gay and bisexual people."
    • "Ugh, I hate it when people say that. I think they forgot about 'love thy neighbor.'"

Method 3
Explaining to Confused People

  1. Image titled Talk to Ex Step 12
    Briefly explain to people who express confusion over your two identities. Some people don't realize that people of a given religion can be of all sexualities, and vice versa, and a quick explanation is all they need
    • "I'm Jewish and pansexual. Sexuality and religion are two separate things."
    • "I was raised Catholic, and I'm bisexual. I find that the doctrine of loving your neighbor certainly applies to LGBT people, so I'm comfortable with my religion."
    • "Yes, gay people are everywhere, including Iran! I am Muslim and gay."
  2. Image titled Talk to Ex Step 14
    Clear up the fact that sexuality is not a choice. Some people might think that you are choosing your orientation because of your religion, or because you want to be counter-cultural.
    • "I didn't choose to be asexual any more than you chose to be straight. Just like you couldn't make yourself turn asexual, I can't change my own orientation."
    • "Being bisexual isn't a choice—if it were, who would choose to get harassed or discriminated against?"
  3. Image titled Talk to Ex Step 13
    Guide them to religious or LGBTQIA resources if need be. Some people have a lot of questions or misconceptions, and you might not have the time or energy to explain it all. Encourage them to do some research, and perhaps help them get started.
  4. Image titled Look Great As a Gay Man Step 12
    Don't worry too much about it. Not everyone will understand you, and that's all right. You don't have to exhaust yourself explaining to someone who isn't interested in hearing it.
    • Some people are jerks, and talking to them is a waste of time. Put your mental health first, and spend time with different people.
    • Some people don't really understand religion or sexuality. Maybe they're open to being taught, or maybe they're too young or not interested. This is all right. Just be yourself, and don't worry much about the rest.


  • Be confident in who you are and what beliefs you hold. Don't shy away from saying how you truly feel because you are scared of judgment.
  • If a conversation is getting heated, walk away. Arguments are unnecessary and no fun.


  • Be careful when discussing religion. It can be a touchy subject, especially if people feel that their personal beliefs are being criticized. Practice kindness towards people of other religions, even if you disagree with their beliefs.

Article Info

Categories: Religion | LGBT