How to Seduce a Man

Three Parts:Gaining His InterestSetting a SceneGetting Physical

If you want to seduce a man, confidence is key. Gain his interest by being yourself, set the scene, and then slowly move into physical contact.

Part 1
Gaining His Interest

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    Have confidence. Men are attracted to confidence. In fact, many men find confidence more attractive than pure physical beauty. Try to be a bit more assertive about your interests, goals, and ideas. This will prove attractive to most men.
    • It's important that you feel confident and attractive when trying to gain the interest of a man. In other words, do not try to be something you're not. Be yourself and be upfront about your interests and passions.[1]
    • This goes for online dating as well. While a cute profile picture might get a man to click on your profile, he won't end up messaging you if you have generic information included in your "About Me" section. Let your personality show in your online dating presence as well.[2]
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    Dress in a flattering fashion. When first meeting someone, most people assess them visually. If you're trying to seduce a man, make sure you dress in a flattering fashion to get his attention.
    • Remember, confidence is key. If you don't feel sexy, you won't appear that way to a man. If you're more comfortable in jeans and tees than dresses, try picking a flattering, sexy casual outfit rather than forcing yourself into a evening gown.[3]
    • If you're unsure how to dress in a flattering way, try asking a stylist at a department store to help you pick outfits that work for your figure or frame.
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    Make eye contact. When trying to get a man's interest, eye contact is important. Men often gauge sexual or romantic interest based on a woman's eyes and facial expression. Some studies propose this is because women are less likely to show interest with their bodies. Maintaining eye contact for the night can show a man you're interested.[4]
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    Use body language. Do not be afraid to use your body to flirt. This can help a man see you are interested in him sexually.
    • Sit up straight and do not lower your chin. This makes you look confident about your body.[5]
    • Do not be afraid to use gentle, light touches. Touch his arm or shoulder. Place your hand on his knee. Tug at his hair.[6]
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    Flirt. You should always find ways to flirt when first meeting a man. A little flirtation can go a long way in getting him interested.
    • If you're at a bar, offer to buy him a drink. Be nice to the bartender and respectful to any friends he's with. Try to engage with him by being flirtatious but also being yourself. Use your own unique sense of humor and perspective to impress him.[7]
    • Come up with an activity to do together. Challenge him to a game of pool or trivia and use this as a chance to chat him up and get to know him better.[8]
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    Be upfront. Men tend to prefer directness about sexual desire. If you're interested in getting physical with a man, try to work that into the opening conversation. Coyly suggest he might want to come back to your place. Ask him flirtatious questions about his body. Men respond sexually to blunt suggestions, so don't be shy about expressing what you want.[9]

Part 2
Setting a Scene

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    Try playing a game together. When you're trying to get a man in the mood after initial introductions, try playing a game together. Go to a tennis court and play a round. Play a card or board game. Try competitive video games. Competition can spike testosterone levels in both men and women, leading to higher sexual arousal.[10]
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    Use pomegranate. Pomegranate juice has been shown to boost men's sex drives in a few studies. If you're interested in seducing a man, try offering him a cocktail using pomegranate juice. If he doesn't drink, offer him plain pomegranate juice as a beverage.[11]
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    Get a haircut. If you're trying to set a romantic or sexual scene, consider a new hairstyle. Men might not notice right away that you've changed your hair, but they will notice you're looking more put together. This can be attractive.
    • Much like planning an outfit, pick something you feel good about rather than catering explicitly to a man's interests. While a guy might say he prefers long, layered hair, if you feel sexiest with a short bob that will be conveyed in how you act with your new style.[12]
    • Talk to a hair stylist about what style and color would be most flattering for you.
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    Share fantasies. Talk to one another about sexual fantasies. These do not have to be fantasies you intend to engage in, but just sharing secret desires can enhance both of your sex drives.
    • Talk about scenes from movies or television shows you found arousing. You can even try watching some of these films together to get you both in the mood.
    • A fun game to play can be "Never Have I Ever," but a sexy version. In this game, you both take turns say something sexual you've never done but have always been curious about. This can be a fun predecessor to physical contact.

Part 3
Getting Physical

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    Try a massage. If you're unsure how to initiate physical contact, try offering a massage. Massaging a man's scalp, back, shoulders, or feet can get him in the mood. It also sends the message that you're ready to get more physical.[13]
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    Appeal to his erogenous zones. Men have erogenous zones at various parts of their bodies. These are areas that respond sexually when touched, kissed, licked, etc.
    • The earlobes and neck are areas of the body that, for both men and women, tend to respond sexually to being touched, licked, kissed, bit, and other forms of sexual play. Try focusing on these areas when you first start making out.[14]
    • The scalp is also a highly sexually charged area for men. Try offering a scalp massage and see if this gets him in the mood.[15]
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    Wear lingerie. Men respond well to visual stimuli. Try wearing lingerie. This can help get a man in the mood.
    • Once again, pick something you feel most confident in. If you don't feel sexy, you won't come off that way.
    • If you feel uncomfortable shopping for lingerie alone, take a friend with you. You can also purchase items online but the downside is you cannot try items on beforehand. If you purchase something online, make sure there is a return option.
    • Many lingerie stores have highly helpful staff who are trained to help people pick items out. While it may feel awkward, asking a staff member for help can be a great way to assure you pick something flattering that makes you feel confident.[16]
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    Have sexual confidence. Women sometimes feel they should hold back sexually as not to scare a man off. However, many men are turned on when their girlfriends or wives take the lead sexually. Do not be afraid to be dominate in the situation. Initiate sexual contact. Try to have the man follow your lead sexually. Many men find this arousing and enjoy sex more with women who display sexual confidence.[17]

Test Your Knowledge

Seduce a Man Quiz


  • When getting physical with someone for the first time, make sure to pause and ask on occasion if what you're doing is okay. You want to make sure a man is comfortable and ready to engage in sex.
  • Always practice safer sex by using condoms. This protects you from STDs.

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