How to Re Ignite Passion in a Marriage

Do you feel that the passion in your romantic relationship with your partner is fading? Are you afraid of losing what you once had with your partner and of never being able to have it again? If so, read on and learn how to rekindle the passion in your relationship.


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    Understand how to create passion. Passion is a phenomenon that is created. It is not a spontaneous thing that just happens. In order to understand how to create passion, you must do two things. First, you need to understand why you feel passion. Then you need to understand how passion is created.
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    Think about things that you feel passionately about. Do you have a job that you love? Is there a hobby you can't live without? Maybe you have a talent you live for.
    • Regardless of what it is, there are many different things in life that can make you feel passionately. It could be a wonderful career, or your brand new sports car, a young puppy, playing video games, painting pottery, dancing, pretending you're a superstar when it's karaoke night at the bar, etc. The list is endless. Take a moment and try to identify the things you have in your life that make you feel passion.
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    Understand why these things make you feel passionate. Now that you have identified what it is that makes you feel this way, think about why it is that these things make you feel passionate. Why are you passionate about your job/hobby/talent/pet?
    • One thing you will notice about anything that makes you feel passionate is that this is something that makes you feel happy. Feeling passionate is a good feeling. Passions are often developed from feelings of love and happiness. It is the love and happiness we feel for these things that grows into a passion over time. Therefore, with time, it is possible for passion to become stronger.
    • Never give up hope when the passion in your marriage is dwindling. Remain hopeful that you will feel passionately with your partner again, starting with learning how to make each other happy.
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    Make happy moments and happy memories. Learn how to make your partner happy and teach your partner how to make you happy. Any true passion thrives off of happiness. You need to take the time to understand your partner's wants and needs. Sometimes we can even be unaware of what our wants and needs are, so doing this can take a great deal of effort.
    • If you are having trouble figuring out what your own wants and needs are, then start by being honest with yourself. You can ask yourself and/or your partner the following questions to help you learn what your wants and needs are:
      • What do I want from my partner?
      • What do I need from my partner to make me happy?
      • What is making me feel sad and/or angry in my relationship?
      • What do I need to change in my life to create my own happiness?
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    Understand what your answers mean. The first two questions will help you identify what you need and desire from a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled by it. The last two questions will help you learn how you can work towards making your relationship more satisfying to you.
    • After you answer the third question, take your answers and write down the opposite for each one. For example, if your partner's distance and lack of affection makes you feel sad, then for the opposite, you should write that closeness and affection from your partner makes you feel happy. Completing this exercise will help you identify exactly what will make you feel happier in your relationship with your partner. It will also help you identify what you want and need from them.
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    Use happiness to create passion. Now that you understand more about how passion is created, try to use the things that make you happy and your partner happy to create it. Sometimes this means willing to compromise or make sacrifices. Always remember that you and your partner are two different people, who each feel passionately about different things.
    • Understanding how your partner is different from you and willing to accept this is a huge step. So for starters, don't be afraid to go out of your way to make your partner happy. Do something special just for him or her. It doesn't have to be something big.
      • You can start with the little things. If she loves chicken alfredo, take her to her favorite Italian restaurant. If he loves epic movies, go with him to the theater to see Lord of the Rings. Maybe she would appreciate it more if you helped her clean up around the house. Get out the dish soap and help her clean up after she makes dinner. Maybe he just wants to have his space and some free time to himself. Give it to him, and do something that makes you happy when you're not with him.
      • Here's the trick, though: Don't just do it, actually enjoy doing it. Remember, this is something you're doing for your partner because it makes them feel good! If you act resentful or annoyed about doing something to try to make your partner happy, your partner is not going to be very happy about it. When you do something out of frustration and anger, even it is to make someone else feel good, then the person on the receiving end just feels like they are the recipient of your incurred wrath.
      • Passion is not created out of wrath. It is created from happiness. If your partner needs you to do something you resent doing to be happy, like the dirty dishes in hell's kitchen, then just remember, you are doing this because you love, admire, appreciate, and respect your partner. Even if you can't feel happy about doing it, at least do it with a feeling of mutual respect.


  • Remember that passion is something you create. It is not something that just happens.
  • Men, remember that she finds you sexy even when you do the littlest things just for her.
  • Women, remember that if your man pulls away, it doesn't mean he's not in love with you. Men need space.
  • Keep an open mind. The more receptive you are, the quicker you will be able to find practical solutions.
  • Stay hopeful and believe in yourself to make things better.


  • Blaming all of your problems on your partner will only make your current situation worse.
  • Failing to take responsibility for your own happiness can be destructive in any relationship.
  • Not having an open mind for how to make things better may prevent you from being able to find a solution.

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Categories: Marriage Issues