How to Prevent Divorce

Is the marriage going the wrong way? Let's turn it around with some ideas to consider.

Steps

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    1
    Your spouse is the best friend you have, you're a team. Know the team members, know yourself. Without self-knowledge you cannot be in charge of your own life, without knowing what the other one thinks, you cannot have unity as a couple.
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    Make a personal evaluation of your marriage:
    • What is the purpose of your marriage?
    • What is our identity as a couple?
    • How do we want to be known? (How do I want us to be known?)
    • What do we (I) want in our personal life?
    • What do we (I) want in our marriage?
    • What do we (I) want for our family?
    • How do we (I) want to be as a couple?
    • How do we (I) want to be as parents?
    • How do we (I) want to treat each other?
    • How do we want to treat our children?
    • What kind of environment do we (I) want in our home?
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    Consider how the responsibilities are divided in your home.
    • Discipline of children
    • Finances
    • Chores
    • Other responsibilities (shared)
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    Sit down and work out what is your biggest problem at present.
    • Lack of respect?
    • Lack of communication?
    • Physical/emotional abuse?
    • Money?
    • Work?
    • Religion?
    • Children's conduct?
    • Relatives?
    • Alcohol/drugs/gambling?
    • Sex issues?
    • Health?
    • Recreation?
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    Know the actions that lead to team destruction:
    • Criticism
    • Blame
    • Nagging
    • Yelling
    • Complaining
    • Manipulating
    • Use of silence as punishment
    • Use of sarcasm
    • Threatening.
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    Know the road to team building:
    • Love
    • Trust
    • Support
    • Encourage
    • Accept.
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    Use active listening. Use the “ I ” message.
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    Consider the factors in a healthy relationship:
    • Respect-Mutual understanding by placing yourself in the other persons shoes and accepting the other as they are and not as want them to be.
    • Trust: unconditionally, not based on any proof, but given as a gift. Based in being honest with each other.
    • Sharing: thoughts and feelings without fear of being criticized, just to have an empathic ear.
    • Effective Communication: made of two actions first listening and responding using the I message.
    • Listening: listen for the message behind the words. Use the I statement to respond.
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    Remind yourself that things and people change. Review and remind yourself of this. Keep team building.
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Article Info

Categories: Marriage Issues