How to Last Longer in Bed Naturally

Three Methods:Preparing for SexSlowing Yourself DownStrengthening Your Confidence

As many as one out of three men say they experience premature ejaculation, or finishing sooner than they (and their partners) would like.[1] In some cases, this can be a sign of erectile dysfunction, but in most cases is embarrassing and leads to feelings of sexual inadequacy. While this condition can often be treated with medication, there are ways you can improve your sexual performance without requiring medical treatment. Changing up your sexual routine, practicing foreplay, and taking steps to relax beforehand are all examples of ways you can teach yourself to last longer in bed naturally.

Method 1
Preparing for Sex

  1. 1
    Exercise your PC muscles. You want to work on contracting your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, which is located between your anus and urinary sphincter. To find it, try stopping your flow while peeing. When you get it to stop, that is the muscle you are working. Give yourself some time to tighten and contract the muscle during the day, three sets of 15 contractions, which will make it stronger and give you more confidence to use it if you need to slow down.[2]
    • Consider doing other, similar exercises that work your pelvic muscles, including yoga, kegels, and pilates. These can allow you to strengthen these muscles, and will give you better control over yourself.[3]
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    Masturbate before sex. About an hour or two before sex, take some time to stimulate yourself and ejaculate. It takes men some time to recover between finishing, so doing so a little bit beforehand will help you slow down.[4]
  3. 3
    Train with the start-and-stop method. Another way to help yourself last longer is to train yourself while masturbating. Get yourself close to finishing, then stop and slowly calm down. Build yourself back up, then calm down again.[5]
    • This technique will help you learn your limits, and how far you can push yourself before the point of no return. Once you know these limits, you will be better able to control yourself before getting to the point where you can’t stop.
  4. 4
    Stop having sex for a little while. If your problems are related to performance anxiety, it may be helpful to take a little break. Talk to a doctor and your partner about avoiding sex for a set period of time.[6]
    • This doesn’t mean losing intimacy. Use this time without intercourse to focus on other types of sexual play. This will help you learn to create pleasure for both yourself and your partner, taking the pressure away when you get back to having sex.

Method 2
Slowing Yourself Down

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    Engage in foreplay. Intercourse is usually better for men’s climaxing, but women need other stimuli to get there. Some foreplay before penetration, such as rubbing, petting, kissing, and giving oral sex can help enhance your partner’s pleasure while delaying your gratification.[7]
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    Change your position. Sometimes you and your partner get into a rhythm or rut in the same positions, which will make you anticipate finishing sooner. Trying a new position in bed can be a distraction, and make you last longer as you think about how it feels.[8]
    • Another way to change is in the middle of sex. If you start to feel close to finishing, stop and switch around to another position.[9]
    • One position to avoid if you are trying to last longer is doggy style. This can be a good position if you want a quick session, but most men will last longer in positions like missionary or girl-on-top.[10]
  3. 3
    Go slower. Make yourself last longer by giving yourself time between thrusts, maybe waiting 3 seconds between in and out strokes. Slowly increase over the next 4 to 5 minutes. You don’t need to mimic a jackhammer, as going faster will probably make you finish faster.[11]
    • If you start to feel like you are close, stop thrusting and hold yourself inside your partner until you feel in control again.
    • Another way to slow yourself down is to focus on other activities. Caress and explore your partner’s body, using your hands and lips to explore.
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    Practice the 7 and 9 technique. Sex experts say that the 7 and 9 technique can help men who suffer from premature ejaculation last longer. Do seven fast in-and-out strokes, followed by nine slow strokes, and repeat for the duration of intercourse.[12]
  5. 5
    Try the pause-squeeze technique. One way for you and your partner to help prevent you from finishing too soon is the pause-squeeze technique, which involves putting pressure on your penis. When you feel almost ready to ejaculate, have your partner squeeze your penis where the head meets the shaft. Hold for several seconds until your urge to ejaculate has passed. Once your partner lets go, wait 30 seconds, then go back to foreplay.[13]
    • You can also try squeezing and pushing other parts of your penis. Make a tight ring with your index finger and thumb around the base of your shaft. This will help maintain blood flow to keep you erect. You can also press the area between your anus and the base of your testicles. Pushing in this area, called the perineum, will prevent flow, and help slow down an early release.[14][15]

Method 3
Strengthening Your Confidence

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    Think confidently about yourself and your ability. Anxiety as a tendency to build on itself, meaning that feeling anxious about your performance will make it more likely that you will finish even quicker. Instead, think confidently about your ability to last longer. If you start to feel anxious, stop and take a breath, and think about how you enjoy sex with your partner, rather than your worries over finishing early.[16]
  2. 2
    Think about psychological difficulties. Some doctors believe that finishing prematurely may be the result of personal problems or bad habits developed in past experiences, both in your current relationship and in previously ones. By identifying these possible trouble spots, you can better work through them with your partner or a therapist.[17]
    • Some problems from your past include hurrying to climax in order to avoid being discovered, or rushing through sexual encounters to avoid guilt.
  3. 3
    Talk to your partner. The desire to last longer is usually about increasing the pleasure and intimacy for both of you. If this has only become an issue recently, or with your current partner, it may be a sign of interpersonal difficulties between the two of you. Consider talking with your partner about your relationship and any issues that may have arisen recently.
    • Talking to your partner may also demonstrate that you have nothing to worry about. Your partner may not find anything wrong with how long you last. At the same time, your partner may also have some ideas for new positions and foreplay that can increase intimacy and passion, as well as the length of time.[18]
  4. 4
    Visit a therapist. You can consider counseling to work through relationship or other issues. A counselor can be particularly helpful in terms of reducing stress and overcoming performance anxiety. If you think your problems are relationship-based, you may want to visit the therapist or counselor with your partner.[19]
    • Counseling sessions tend to be most helpful when combined with drug therapy, so they may not always be the most natural course. This, of course, depends on the kind of problems you are having.


  • Premature ejaculation is a diagnosable condition, and finishing early does not mean you have it. If this happens sometimes, mixed with sessions where you last much longer, that is normal, and not really a diagnosable problem.[20]
  • The average amount of time for sex will vary some depending on the person, but most men go from starting intercourse to ejaculation in about 5 minutes.[21]

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Categories: Reproductive Health