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How to Hold Hands

Two Parts:Reaching OutBeing Held

Are you trying to get the guy you're crazy about to hold your hand? Or are you trying to figure out the best way to initiate holding hands with the guy you like? Either way, there are some easy steps you can follow in order to get to this crucial and romantic first step.

Part 1
Reaching Out

  1. Image titled Hold Hands Step 01
    Gauge the level of interest. If you're out on a date, look for subtle signs that he might be ready for you to hold his hand. If your date has been giving you the cold shoulder all night, this is a sure sign that he is not interested. But if he has been walking close to you and seems comfortable, this is a good signal for initiating hand holding.
    • If your date has found little ways to initiate gentle physical contact, like playfully pushing you or grabbing your arm, he is more than likely open to holding hands.[1]
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    Wait for the right time and place. If you are in the middle of dinner or are doing an activity that requires you to move a lot, holding hands will not be very convenient.[2] You don't want to hold hands for the first time when both of you are in a large group of friends or at a family gathering. The two of you don't necessarily have to be alone, but make sure it is a private place where both of you are comfortable.
    • Try taking a walk on the beach, going for a hike, or taking a stroll down the street. You may have people around you, but strangers will most likely not pay attention to the two of you, giving you the privacy you need.
    • A movie theater is a great place to initiate hand holding. Since you are sitting right next to each other, your positions are very conducive to holding hands. The darkness adds a layer of privacy and may help if your date is shy.[3]
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    Check your hands. You might be a little nervous, so check your hands to make sure they are not sweaty or clammy. If they are, subtly wipe them off or stick them in your pockets for a moment to dry them off. Your date may be nervous too, but sweaty palms are not very appealing.[4]
    • Also make sure your hands are clean and moisturized. Super dry hands or hands that smell are an even bigger turn off than sweaty hands.[5]
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    Take his hand. When you've found the right time and place and you feel ready, walk close to your date and gently take his hand. Remember to be gentle and not to rush it. Make it as subtle as possible and remember to keep talking or walking to ensure it is natural and comfortable.
    • Make sure you don't lurch forward and scare your date trying to take his hand. You don't want to give off the wrong impression at this early stage in your relationship.
    • You can also try gently rubbing your hands down your date's arm before you link your hands. This gives him a heads up before you grab his hand and adds a nice, more intimate touch to your initial hand holding.[6]
    • If your date pulls away, don't force the issue. It may be that he isn't interested, but he may also just be shy and is not quite ready to hold hands. Don't take it personally and try to make him feel comfortable in the situation. You'll get there eventually.[7]
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    Start simple. Use the simple hand grasp technique at first. When you grab his hand, reach across his hand to where your palms are centered, making an X with your hands. Gently close your hand, wrapping your fingers and thumb around the edges of your date's hand.
    • For the more intimate moment, consider gently rubbing your thumb across the back of his hand. This adds a layer of affection to your grasp and it lets him know you are enjoying the activity without you having to tell him. If he returns the gesture, you know you're doing it right.[8]
    • Try not to hold too tight. This can be uncomfortable and cause both of your hands to sweat.

Part 2
Being Held

  1. Image titled Hold Hands Step 06
    Make eye contact. If you want to get your date to hold your hand, start simple by making eye contact with him, smiling subtly. This lets him know you are interested in him and makes you seem open and receptive to physical contact.
    • You can also try walking closer to him while you are walking. They physical proximity, added with the eye contact, will make you seem interested and responsive to his presence.
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    Touch them first. Opening up the possibility of physical contact is important. Let your fingers brush at dinner or when you're walking from the car. If you are walking side by side, gently hold his arm or link your arms together. These are gentler forms of contact that let your date know that you are okay with touching.
    • You can do a kind of hand holding test run by grabbing your date's hand and leading him somewhere, dropping it when you've reached your destination. This way, you hold hands for a short while but it isn't as nerve-racking as officially holding hands.[9]
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    Give subtle hints. Your date might need some clues that you want your hand held. Try giving him small hints that you want to hold hands. Your date might just be nervous, so encouraging him is always helpful.
    • If you're in a theater, place your arm and hand on the armrest, palm facing up in invitation. You can also let your hand drop over to his side on the armrest. Your date should take notice and get the hint that you want it held.
    • Claim your hands are cold. Tell him that your hands are cold or ask him to feel if they are. Hopefully, your date will see if he can help warm them up. This is a cute, flirtatious way to get your date to hold your hand.
    • Ask if you can compare your hand sizes. Bring your hand up in the air and when your date raises theirs, gently place your palms together, comparing the sizes. This gets your date's hand close to yours and is a subtle way to let him know you want to hold his hand.[10]
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    Be bold. If for some reason your date has still not figured out that you want to hold hands, initiate contact yourself. Gently clasp his hand and squeeze it gently, letting him know you care. If you are nervous, it is likely that your date is as well. This may help both of you relax.
    • Confidence and initiative are attractive qualities, so being the first to grab your date's hand lets him know that you are interested in them and that you want to become closer.[11]
  5. Image titled Hold Hands Step 10
    Intensify the hold. Once you and your date have gotten comfortable holding hands, try taking the initiative this time and use a different, more intimate hand holding method. If you are clasping hands, open your fingers and move them until they are aligned with your date's fingers. Open your fingers slightly, pushing each of your fingers into the space between your date's fingers, interlocking your fingers.[12]

Article Info

Categories: Long Term Dating