How to Greet and Converse With Women

Having difficulty with women? Here's an article that will teach you from a female psychologist's perspective how to approach and engage with women in a way that promotes positive responses.


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    Make eye contact with the girl from across the room in a non-threatening, casual kind of way. If she holds your eye contact or looks back at you then you have obtained her interest and are able to smile. If she smiles back, you're in and she may approach you herself. If she doesn't smile but appears approving then feel free to approach her then,or later in the evening, however do not leave it beyond an hour or she will lose interest.
    • Note: if the girl avoids eye contact or shifts her body language away, do not pursue this option or continue to watch her as this will make her feel uncomfortable and she may start to warn other girls in the room.
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    Move with confidence. Making the approach across the room needs to be done with confidence. If you appear nervous or shy you will be faced with an equally awkward response and the girl will automatically return to her friends or whatever was occupying her prior, for comfort. You have the option of walking in her direction and discreetly making eye contact to see if she is welcoming the approach or moving away to avoid.
    • The alternative is to make it clear that you are approaching her, however this can be intimidating if she is with her friends. If she steps away from her friends to speak with you then you are golden, however if she stays with her friends and involves them in the conversation then you are at risk of being used for entertainment value and will need to prove yourself to the group.
    • Be careful when approaching a pair of women as you will be interrupting a one-on-one conversation and won't have the opportunity to engage intimately with either. In that situation you are better off with short small talk then handing your number or asking for the details of the woman you are keen on, so that she does not feel uncomfortable or like she is ignoring her friend.
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    Do not force conversations. If she is keen or attracted to you, then she will engage and make an effort to show interest in you. If you are not getting this vibe, asking too many questions and hanging around is perceived as creepy and annoying. You are best to engage in light, contextual conversation and avoid topics such as those about the bar/ venue you are at, or random questions. Ideal topics include recent media topics such as master chef finales, Olympics, etc, etc. Things that anyone would be able to converse around
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    Making fun of other people in the bar, complaining about work, relationship issues or asking questions about talking to women is never welcome. Direct responses are always engaging so a simple "Hi, I'm Tom, I work around the corner and came here for after work drinks, but I think I'd rather talk to you than my workmates" is welcome and leads to questions about who the workmates are, or what you do for work.
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    Go with 'Minimal is better'. If you are rambling and they are saying nothing, excuse yourself and wish them a good night. If they're keen, they won't let you go, or will ask you questions, or will come back to you later in the night.
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    Consider buying drinks. Buying drinks always buys you that amount of time and attention with them. If you buy one drinks, see if they offer the second. If so, you are golden and have formed a mutual relationship already. If they seem disinterested, do not use a drink to get their attention as they will only spend the 10 minutes with you and then leave you feeling rejected.
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    End the conversation. This is important. If you are interested, indicate so in a non-threatening way. This may involve you offering your card and letting her know if she wishes to continue this conversation another time she should call you. You may also ask her out right if she is interested in seeing you again, because you had a nice time and would like to take her out.
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    Leave earlier rather than later. Before things become awkward and you've outstayed your welcome.


  • Try to draw a girl away from the group of friends in order to talk privately.
  • Don't get too touchy. Women find this uncomfortable.
  • Smile a lot.
  • Approach women in your age group who are dressed in a similar way. If you approach elegant women who are dressed conservative, and you are wearing thongs and flannel, they will comment on this and embarrass you. If you want to avoid the "No, you are old enough to be my Dad" comment, then approach women in your age group.


  • Don't drink too much because you won't be able to hold yourself together!
  • If you approach a women who isn't expecting it, and appears disinterested, you're going to make a fool out of yourself.
  • Don't insist on buying a girl a drink if she says no, she will think you're trying to buy her, or date rape her.
  • Don't bring your friends over to her friends because they causes twice the discomfort and the girls will constantly talk to each other to check the other is okay. If one of them is disinterested then the other will have to leave.

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Categories: Conversation Skills