How to Get Your Boyfriend's Attention

Three Methods:Making Noticeable ChangesDoing Something Special For HimAsserting Your Independence

Do you feel neglected by your boyfriend? Has the initial newness and excitement of your relationship worn off? You can recapture his attention and rekindle the passion you shared with a bit of spontaneity, some creativity, and perhaps an air of aloofness.

Method 1
Making Noticeable Changes

  1. 1
    Be more bold. Instead of waiting around for him to notice you, take charge of your relationship, your desires, and your life. You can live boldly in several ways. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know what you want and need to feel satisfied with your relationship. Step up to the plate and show your boyfriend how you wish to be treated. Lastly, step away from the relationship if he can’t fulfill your needs and focus on you.[1]
    • Plan a surprise date for him.
    • Pop-in on him at work or at home.
    • Surprise him with a suggestive gift.
    • Cancel your plans with him for an evening out with your friends
  2. 2
    Act confident. Confidence is extremely attractive. Work towards accepting that you are a strong, independent person. As you develop more confidence, feel free to take charge of your relationship.Tell him what you want to do and when you want to do it. You can develop confidence by:
    • Working out—you will feel stronger a more self-assured
    • Completing a project—you will feel accomplished
    • Tackling a new skill—you will feel adventurous and intelligent[2]
  3. 3
    Change your look. Drastically changing up your signature look is a surefire way to capture his attention. The change will catch him off guard and hopefully intrigue him enough to renew his interest in you. Options to consider include:
    • Dying your hair a bold new color
    • Opting for a natural look instead of wearing a lot of makeup
    • Getting bangs
    • Dressing in all black[3]
  4. Image titled Get Your Boyfriend's Attention Step 2
    Wear a new outfit. You’ll certainly catch his eye in an outfit that accentuates your best features. While the outfit should be alluring, it doesn’t have to be risque. Dressing in something that makes you feel attractive will also make you feel more confident. Remember, confidence is a very desirable trait and an excellent accessory too. Exchange your everyday clothes for something a little edgier and sexier:
    • Swap your tennis shoes for heels
    • Wear form fitting clothing
    • Pull up your hair to draw attention to your neckline
    • Show a sliver of skin or bare your midriff[4]

Method 2
Doing Something Special For Him

  1. 1
    Make his favorite dinner. Food, especially his favorite food, is an excellent way to capture your boyfriend’s attention. Spend the afternoon making his favorite dinner from scratch. He will appreciate all of the time and effort you put into making a delicious meal for him.
    • If you are not a cook, take your boyfriend out to his favorite restaurant and treat him to a decadent meal and dessert. Alternatively, you could sign up for a couple’s cooking class or make the meal together at your house.[5]
  2. 2
    Express an interest in his favorite hobby. Does your boyfriend seem to devote more time to his hobbies than to your relationship? Instead of complaining about his interests, make the effort to join him in these activities. This will allow you to spend time together and to bond over an activity that he is passionate about.
    • Play Pokemon Go! with your boyfriend
    • Sit in the stands at his sporting events
    • Attend his musical performances
    • Learn his favorite board game or video game
    • Volunteer with him at an organization he is passionate about[6]
  3. 3
    Be adventurous together. Invite your boyfriend to step outside of your comfort zone with you. Your desire to do something out of the ordinary, like skydiving, will capture his attention and return his focus to you. The thrill you’ll share as you try something new and risky will rekindle your romance too.
    • Ask him to go cliff jumping with you
    • Invite him on a rustic camping trip
    • Act out his romantic fantasy (or yours)[7]

Method 3
Asserting Your Independence

  1. 1
    Spend time on your own. Don’t devote all of you energy to getting his attention. Step away from the phone and him for awhile and take some time for you.
    • Stop contacting him. Eventually, he will notice that you’ve been contacting him less. If this concerns him, he will step up to the plate and start pursuing you. If he isn’t bothered by your lack of attention, he might not be worth your time.
    • Go on a trip without him. You don’t need your boyfriend’s permission (or company) to go on an adventure. Plan an adventure that doesn’t include him. You could plan a girl’s weekend or a family vacation. If you’re feeling adventurous, take a trip by yourself. You absence will capture his attention.[8][9]
  2. 2
    Spend time with friends and family. If you prefer to spend your free time with others, turn to your friends and family members. Concentrate your energy on building a stronger relationship with these integral members of your support system. Instead of asking your boyfriend to hang out, ask your friends and family members to set aside some time for you.
    • Invite your friends over for a movie night.
    • Go to the spa with your mom.
    • Ask you siblings to cook dinner with you.
    • Take a day trip with your bestie.
    • Rent a cottage with your extended friend group.
    • Host a DIY night[10]
  3. 3
    Find a new hobby. Taking up a new activity is not only an ideal distraction, but it is also a great way to build confidence and gain clarity. New activities push us out of our comfort zones and force us to grow. Whether you choose to take up sewing or swing dancing, use this activity to remind yourself that you have value outside of your relationship.
    • Join a book club
    • Learn a new language
    • Join a yoga class
    • Practice meditation every day
    • Take on a new project at work.[11][12]

===Communicating with Your Boyfriend===

  1. 1
    Present the issue to your boyfriend. Initiate the conversation with a statement that plainly describes the issue you are having. Do not attach any feelings, interpretation, or blame to the statement. State it as a fact, not a option.
    • For example, "Mike, we haven't spent much time together lately."[13]
  2. 2
    Use "I" statements to discuss your feelings. Expressing yourself with "I" statements allows you to take sole ownership for your feelings. Instead of saying "You make me feel ____," you're stating "I feel ____".
    • For example, "Over the past month, I felt like I wasn't a priority to you."[14]
  3. 3
    Ask him to change his behavior. Once you've explained the situation and how it's made you feel, it is time to ask him to take action. Think of what he needs to do to make you feel differently about the situation.
    • For example, "Mike, I would really appreciate it if you would make time to hang out with me."[15]


  • Smile. Your smile is your best weapon, and gift.
  • Flirt with him, even though you are already dating, flirting is still fun and cute and he'll love it.
  • Have inside jokes with him. It is something more intimate and fun that you guys can bring up and laugh about to no end.
  • Do something out of the ordinary.


  • Don't flirt with other guys to get his attention.
  • Don't become someone else just to capture his attention.

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Categories: Going Steady