How to Get Over Losing a Best Friend

Three Parts:Respecting the decisionConstructive ways to move onYour best friend moved away

Did your friend move to a different city? Or maybe you had an argument and you don't talk much anymore. Friends do come and go, whether due to fights, growing apart, and other reasons, and it's never easy to move on. Getting over a friend requires patience, acceptance and the willingness to put yourself out there and meet new people.

Part 1
Respecting the decision

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    If this friend wants nothing to do with you, for whatever reason, there is only one thing you need to accept. The reason for ending the friendship may be as fake, stupid, and ridiculous as this person's behavior has been, but you need to respect his or her decision to no longer be a part of your life. You cannot force a person to remain friends with you. Once one side withdraws the friendship, there is nothing left to preserve.
    • This does not mean that fighting for your friendship is futile. Sometimes that may be worth doing. However, you must make the decision to fight for the friendship based on respect too. This means that you must accept that even after fighting for saving the friendship, you may not succeed. Ask yourself if this battle is really worth it or whether what has caused the rift between both of you is so total and complete that it is beyond salvaging.
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    Accept that people change. It's a fact of life and there is no getting around it. One year, you may be best friends with this person, and the next, they may have changed completely. Just know that they have lost something great, and that's you. You have to be confident and know that you are a great person.
    • Try to see the loss of the friendship with a dose of realism. If the friend really has changed so much as to no longer be of one mind with you and lacks the things that brought both of you together, it is better that you know than that both of you fake a friendship.
    • If your friend doesn't want to put the effort into being your friend, you shouldn't care any more than they do.
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    If you lost a friend over a fight, such as from telling them how you feel, and they won't forgive you, it's their loss. And if they can't understand you then they aren't a true friend worth having.
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    Take time to mourn over your loss. This big change in your daily life to not have that friend as a part of it. Cry, scream into a pillow, shout, hit the pillow, play the music at its loudest possible. Do whatever it takes to get the sadness, rage, anger, disappointment etc. out of your system. Let it out so that you can move on from these destructive feelings and so that you can cease to harbor negativity that you will continue to carry if you do not release it.
    • Even if you are no longer friends with this person, never forget the great memories you have had. Everything happens for a reason, but know that this change is for the better, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
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    Let go. If this former best friend didn't want to be your friend anymore, that is definitely his or her loss. This also means that the fallout should be their problem to cope with, not yours. After you've let forth your sadness and your confusion, try to let go. Carrying around anger, resentment and bitterness for what could have been will only delay your recovery and hold you back from connecting with new friends. Give yourself a break and get ready to start anew.
    • Know that if you lose a friend, you can get a new one, in time.
    • Forgive yourself and move on. There is no use beating yourself up when it comes to mistakes of the past.

Part 2
Constructive ways to move on

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    Do things to get your mind off of this loss. By being active and letting the time pass in constructive ways, you will find the pain lessens and the hold this person had over you will release, so that you can move on.
    • As much as you like and love someone, time really can help fade the pain and wounds, until the person is too distant to give a second thought to.
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    Join a club, or a hobby group. This is a great new way to make friends that are interested in the same things you are. It is also a good way to get over the loss of someone who was once such a huge part of your life.
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    Consider getting to know some of your current friends better. Perhaps there is someone among the people you're hanging around with now who is best friend material, only you've never given that person consideration before. Spend more time together with people you feel a lot of connection with and see what unfurls.
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    Rejoice in how deeply you care for people and find someone who needs a compassionate pal like you!
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    Remember that life goes on. No matter what happens, life still goes on. It is not the end of the world. You have a lot ahead of you and people come and go. This person left for a reason and things were not meant to work out any further between you two. There are billions of people out there; many that share the same interests or hobbies as you. In time, you will find another very close friend.

Part 3
Your best friend moved away

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    If your best friend moved away rather than ended things, try to keep the friendship alive. There are some things you can do to help this along.
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    Be realistic about the friendship. It is possible to maintain a friendship long distance but it is a challenge. While both of you may remain friends for life, you will probably only be able to rekindle that special connection when you actually get back together again now and then. For all the other times, both of you should discuss allowing one another the space to develop other close friendships in real time while still holding each other dear and promising to keep in touch.
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    Keep in touch. There are many websites, such as MySpace or Facebook, that can help with that, as well as through email and calling each other.
    • Use Skype for regular hookups.
    • Play online games together, such as through the Xbox or PC. Stay in touch through talking while gaming.

Article Info

Categories: Changing and Losing Friends