How to Get a Man to Marry You

Finding a guy is one thing, but keeping him around is another. Both are important steps. But what are some of the secrets of women who find men willing to commit? This is not an all-encompassing guide, but it may be a start in helping you develop deeper relationships.


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    Love yourself. Think, would you marry you? If you're not happy with who you are then don't expect others will be. Analyze yourself and change what you don't like. Positive self-esteem is key.
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    Communicate. From the start of the relationship and all through the marriage, the key to keeping the relationship together is communication. Tell him what you feel both positive and negative.
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    Be natural. For all the glamour advertisements out there, the fake boobs, hair dyes, and all the rest, a man really appreciates something that is genuine. Be natural and don't pose. You want him to get to know the real you because it is the real you he's going to have to live with when you're married.
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    Be sexy. While sexuality isn't the only thing in a relationship, it is important. Show that you're interested in him romantically. Try not to be too prudish and withdrawn. Allow that aspect of the relationship to be free, fun, and lively. Men who want to marry aren't looking for just a roommate.
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    Know your role. An important part of any relationship is making both partners aware that they have a crucial and indispensable role to play. Make sure that you and your partner have a similar view of the relationship. If you're looking for someone to have kids with and he's looking for a casual relationship, it's not going to work out.
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    Be emotionally grounded. Life with you should not be a roller coaster ride. Men generally like women who are stable and vice versa. Sometimes this is a difficult task in our hectic lives, but it is not impossible. If you find yourself referred to as a "drama queen" in more than one instance, seek help and guidance in relaxing your nerves and calming your emotions.
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    Men are often slower to commit because they are very careful about getting to know a woman before they commit to her. They date first before becoming a boyfriend, and they stay a boyfriend first before getting engaged. This is often hard for women, but there is a lesson to be learned from it. They make sure (as women should) that they feel compatible on all levels. This process must happen at its own pace. Pressuring a man to make a decision before he feels he knows you will inevitably lead him to be uncertain. Don't talk about marriage until either he brings it up or it's been about a year.
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    Keep dating fun, as it should be. If dating goes well, and your interactions are positive, he'll want you to be his girlfriend. If he builds experience with you and sees you as a person he wants to be with forever, he will get more serious about his future and work, start considering more distant goals such as buying a home, and begin to discuss the future more and more. Only once he has made a decision about you and feels prepared and mature enough to propose will he do so.
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    Show confidence. Be sure of yourself, and ready to tackle whatever is before you. Many men love confident women. How can a man not feel privileged when he earns the esteem of a woman who values herself so highly?
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    Show endearment with class. A special glance, a scratch on the back, or a soft kiss is nice, but nothing "clingy" or inappropriate.
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    Appreciate a man's strengths. Also, tell him so, even if he's already prideful. Then, support him when he is at his best, and avoid nagging or berating him when he is at his worst.
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    Be fun. This sounds basic, but it's a critical factor in any relationship. Have a sense of humor. Don’t be uptight or negative.
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    Overflow with joy. Women who are glad to be alive and are enjoying every minute of it may be irrepressibly attractive to men.
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    Glow. If the warmth of your heart is written all over your face, and your feelings for your guy show in the sparkle in your eyes, you will melt him. This is what removes all doubt--it's the important "silver bullet".
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    Practice humility. A humble person is not someone who downplays herself; it is a person who controls her ego and shows a genuine interest in others.
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    Date. It may not be obvious, but you actually have to go out on dates with a man and commit to a relationship before he will propose. The term "date" in modern culture is vague and sometimes redefined as something more than it is. Simply converse with a man and get to know more about each others' lives.
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    Don't assume. Some men wait slightly longer than you might want before they ask. If he is really worth marrying, you should be willing to wait (within reason). But if he is uninterested (or worse, making excuses) even after a long period of time, you need to re-evaluate the direction of your relationship.
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    Remember that romance runs both ways. If you want to be respected and treated as an equal, do the same for him. Be romantic. Make him want to be in this relationship. Don't be a cheapskate. Men often enjoy romance too; pretending otherwise will only drive him away.
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    Remember that some men are perfectly willing to date women they really like but don't see as "marriage material." If, after six months to a year, you still haven't heard him refer to his future plans for marriage or family (with or without you), you may need to ask, "What qualities do you look for in someone you see yourself committing to?" If he mentions qualities he's complimented you on, take it as a good sign. If his compliments are largely related to sex, it probably is not.
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    If you feel the need to have a serious talk, reconsider the approach. Instead of coming at him with a serious tone (which will bring up his innate fear of pressure for commitment), be upbeat and positive. "I really love spending time with you. I really feel happy around you. But I just want to double check and see if we're on the same page. While I know it is too soon for us to worry about it, I do want to get married in the future and want to make sure I'm dating someone who has the same values as me. As we get to know each other better and better, are you beginning to see me as someone you could possibly see that happening with?"
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    Convey unconditional love. A strong relationship should be based upon more than convenience. Pushing past difficult times while remaining together requires a deep commitment and appreciation for one another. Unconditional love is developed over time. It is a choice we make, not necessarily a feeling we experience.


  • Commit. Be open. Be honest. Always communicate.
  • Be honest and truthful from day one.
  • Be positive, fearless, and enjoy your life! If you think you need him to make life more fulfilling, then you need to focus on you for a while and learn how to be whole without him. A man won't fill any void.
  • Show some confidence--women who have high self-esteem and are comfortable and happy with themselves, are irresistible to men. Smile, show off your love for him and yourself by showing how happy your relationship makes you!
  • Realize you must go through several stages of a relationship. In the beginning of dating realize that you are not looking for your “soul mate”, you are looking for someone whose company you enjoy and who enjoys your company.
  • "Winning the man, not the argument": in any relationship, disagreements will occur. However the key to resolving issues is not only to talk these through but also to discuss all issues effectively. Never bring up previously unresolved issues; they are in the past and that is where they should be left. Never discuss issues with your partner if you haven't resolved this emotionally with your self first. If thinking about an issue makes you feel upset or angry, then do not bring this up with your partner. If you do, there is a chance that your emotions will get the better of you, you will not be thinking or communicating clearly if this happens which can lead to an argument. Discuss things objectively and think with an open mind. If you want him to understand you, you must be willing to understand and listen to him, too.
  • If he is not showing a desire to marry after several months or longer, he may never want to marry you. You don't want a man to "settle" for you; your partner should see you as his first choice or something is wrong.
  • You should be able to trust your partner to the point that you sincerely know he would never cheat on you. Real men don't cheat; they will break up with you or divorce you with dignity and respect for you before they would insult you.
  • Always, always, always keep trying new things on multiple fronts. Whether it's new food, a new sport, or a new travel destination, this will keep life exciting, and you interested in your own life. Both men and women become depressed when they feel they know exactly what to expect out of the rest of their lives.
  • As author Sarah Ban Breathnach said, "If you wait for the best, you will very often get it." Expect good things to happen. Create a mission statement--and be specific--defining precisely what it is you want in a man. Revisit and revise this statement from time to time. Prepare yourself mentally to meet and marry the man of your dreams.
  • Visualize being the woman whom a man remembers fondly. Capitalize on your positive unique qualities, talents, or interests.
  • A comfort with, and affinity towards men is non-negotiable. No man will commit to spending the rest of his life with a "man hater", nor should he.
  • If you disrespect a man by openly flirting with other men in his presence, don't expect a ring.
  • Know what you are looking for in a man. Learn what personally attracts you to others to help find a better match. Be honest about communicating these preferences, but do so in subtle, caring manner.
  • If he loves you he will say it back when you say it. If he don't he will say something like do you really......
  • It's certainly important to maintain who you are. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Whatever attracted him to you, be sure to maintain it. It is well-documented that men appreciate women who are beautiful, cute, and/or sexy in their eyes. If you disregard this fact, don't expect your man to view you as the "most beautiful woman in the world".
  • Ironically, women who give men an incentive to marry them may end up moving him in the opposite direction.
  • Give your man some breathing space. By doing so, he will miss you more and he will feel safe knowing that a relationship with you isn't like a cage.


  • Women whom men eventually leave might exhibit the following traits:

    • Marrying a man who is not the kind of person you want in the hopes that you will be able to change him into what you want. If the person you think you want to marry does not meet your basic requirements, trying to change him after getting married will only make both of you miserable.
    • Forgetting that your husband is supposed to be your companion for life, not just your lover. Most long-lasting relationships begin with two persons finding things in common and becoming friends--the kind that you can talk to and trust. Find a friend before you find a lover.
    • Refusal to compromise. Neither of you will ever be able to get everything you want from each other, or from life. Couples who stay married long-term almost invariably are of the opinion that the secret to a long marriage is the ability to compromise, and to be willing to give as much as you are hoping to get out of the relationship.
    • Complaining. It’s not good to be negative. After a while this is like listening to a bad disco record over and over. Believe it. Conversely, don't attach yourself to a man who expects you to be all sunshine and rainbows all the time, for then YOU will become miserable. Be authentic. Be real. Authenticity is very, very attractive.
    • Thinking men are all about sex. Giving it out early and often will not necessarily keep a man. Hint: How soon first sex happens, in and of itself, has little to do with how long a relationship lasts.
    • Focused on physical appearance. Being cute is not enough to land a well-rounded guy forever. If you get a guy to commit to you based on looks alone, stay tuned for a miserable life together.
    • Taking no risks. Don't worry about everything and have the guts to go for what you want. Be bold.
    • Having general problems. Yes, someone else in your past has nothing to do with your new guy. You must enjoy being a woman and be attracted to what makes men male.
    • Jealousy. Unfortunately, jealous people may also cheat on their partners.
    • Critical. Studies say that when people criticize others, listeners tend to consign the traits criticized to the speaker him/herself. Are you a walking, self-fulfilling prophecy?
    • Vanity. No guy likes a wife who goes around thinking she's better than everyone around her. Positive self-esteem is good. Vanity is bad.
    • Don't be controlling. If you are a controlling woman, you are not showing him the respect he may need to feel good about himself.
    • Do not humiliate him or question his manhood. He will leave you for sure.
    • Control yourself, and watch what you are saying even if you are angry, frustrated, etc. You can not get your words back.
    • Before going out of your way to get a man to marry you, consider why you would want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you.

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Categories: Engagement and Rings