How to Feel Beautiful

Three Parts:Taking Action to Feel BeautifulUsing Good Methods of Self-CareMaking Attitude Changes to Feel Beautiful

The greatest beauty tip of all is knowing that you are already beautiful as you are! Sometimes, though, it's hard to acknowledge your own beauty when you just don't feel beautiful. Here are some things you can do to remind yourself that you're already beautiful and that everyone is beautiful in some way or another.

Part 1
Taking Action to Feel Beautiful

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    Journal about your positive attributes.[1] Start a gratitude journal that highlights your appreciation for what you love about yourself the most. By staying grounded in your good qualities, both your inner and outer beauty, you will keep these things more present in your mind. This way, each time you have a moment of self-doubt or face an rude remark from someone else, the things you cherish most about yourself will be ready at hand. Consider the following tips for a gratitude journal that really works:[2]
    • Don’t just go through the motions. Journaling is more effective if you make a strong decision to become happier and more grateful for your positive attributes.
    • Go for quality over quantity. Journal in deep detail about a few things rather than making a superficial laundry list about many attributes. Make it as personal to you as possible.
    • Consider specific situations and relationships that have been positively impacted by these qualities of yours to see how you benefit from these traits in your daily life.
    • Reflect on how your life would be if you suddenly did not have your positive attributes. This makes gratitude come quite easily.
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    Take a look at your relationships. If you have steady doses of fondness and acceptance, you will always be able to see yourself in the positive light that your loved ones do. Similarly, if you spend lots of time with overly harsh or judgmental people, you will learn to view yourself according to their rigid, critical standards. If you are filled with the notion that you are unattractive or unworthy, question whether or not someone in your life bolsters this idea.[3]
    • Make sure that you have a good support system of friends and loved ones. There’s nothing more effective than social support to make you feel strong, capable, and beautiful.
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    Deck out your home with beauty. This may mean decorating your room with beautiful scenes you find in magazines or posters or keeping cute memorabilia and knick-knacks around. Having beautiful surroundings will make you feel beautiful too. Remember to fill your space with what you find beautiful, rather than just following the latest trends in design and decoration.
    • Flattering lighting, like white-coated incandescent bulbs, will set a mood of soft, elegant light that makes you and your surroundings look more appealing overall.
    • Consider the placement of your light fixtures as well. Light that reaches your face from all directions makes it more difficult to see lines and shadows. So, for example, you'll want to replace overhead fixtures in your bathroom with lighting on either side of your mirror.[4]
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    Start each day with an affirmation. Put to task all the positive attributes that you see in yourself by using them to boost your confidence each morning. Remind yourself, in as much vivid and personal detail as possible, the things that you offer to the world. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that these qualities (i.e. your bright smile, your compassionate style) are yours to share. You may feel silly or even self-aggrandizing at first, but you will get used to being kind and motivating toward yourself and experience the benefits of being your own best friend.
    • Also, try writing confidence-boosters on post-it notes, on fridge magnets, or even on the bathroom mirror with eyeliner.
    • Putting small reminders in places where they're bound to be seen frequently will keep you in-tune with the sort of thinking that fosters optimism.
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    Mind your posture. Good posture not only sends messages to others that we are confident and capable, but it also sends positive messages to yourself. [5]This is because your mind is constantly communicating with your body about how you're feeling. When you are standing up straight and looking ahead rather than at the floor, your brain receives the message that you do indeed feel good about yourself and ready to face the world (literally). People who sit up straight rather than slouch tend to be more confident in what they say and do.[6]
    • Try also to keep your shoulders back and your chest ever so slightly open forward. Doing this will make you look self-assured, taller, and even slimmer.
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    Listen to music often. Music is a large part of what helps you appreciate the natural beauty in life, and it is even thought to precede language in its impact on your sense of connection with and orientation in the world around you.[7] Listen to whatever gets your blood pumping, be it pop, rock, jazz, or country. Sustained listening will keep your mood uplifted and your thoughts appreciative of beauty.
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    Get a cute pet. Pets serve two purposes when it comes to helping you feel beautiful. First, you get to spend lots of time around a visually pleasing, always-smiling creature. In a way, they can make the perfect accessory to be out and about with. Also, pets make trusted companions that will help you feel loved and cherished without the conditions of human relationships.
    • Make sure you only get a pet if you have the means to take care of it actively. Pets require a good deal of responsibility and daily attention, but the benefits are enormous.

Part 2
Using Good Methods of Self-Care

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    Get active. In addition to benefits like weight loss, exercise has also been linked to fewer depressive symptoms and a lowered risk of heart disease.[8] This means that keeping a regular exercise routine will keep you feeling uplifted, energized, and secure in your good health. If you find it difficult to find the motivation to begin, try starting small by adding brisk walks to your week. Then, you can gradually increase the amount of cardiovascular or strength training exercise to the degree that your lifestyle permits.
    • Try to exercise in ways that increase your flexibility. This way you will learn to see your body as something that is always evolving and changing.
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    Smile. Do you ever have those unbearably happy mornings? The type where you find yourself smiling at everyone on an early grocery run, for example? These experiences may actually change how you see yourself and how others see you, too.[9] Compared to people who are not smiling, folks who tend to show their pearly whites more often are considered by others to be more sincere, social, and even competent.[10] Even if you don't feel like it. It'll make you feel and look a lot happier!
    • Remember that taking good care of your teeth is a great way to increase confidence in your smile. Brush and floss regularly, and reduce your risk of tooth decay by rinsing your mouth out after eating or drinking sugary foods.
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    Do what you're good at. Spend as much time as possible doing things that let you see how talented and capable you are. A feeling of accomplishment is part of what creates the sort of beauty that emanates from within.[11] This may seem obvious, but sometimes the things we're truly good at can slip away from us if a job or school responsibilities ask that we diverge from our talents.
    • For example, if writing is your forte, craft poems and prose in your spare time. If you're brilliant at sports, join a team that plays on the weekends so that you'll always get your healthy dose of competition.
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    Eat well. Remember that healthy eating is not the same as going on a diet. Diets tend to be temporary and unsustainable in the long run. Eating well requires habits like introducing more fresh veggies, fruits, and whole grains to your shopping list, and cooking with a good degree of variety. If you're big on foods with lots of fat, sugar, and salt, consider cutting back significantly.[12]
    • Because balance is key, treating yourself is also a part of eating well. If you're tempted by the occasional ice cream cone or pastry, don't deny yourself outright--this is where moderation comes in.
    • Treating yourself will help you remember that how you treat yourself is a big part of the self-confidence that makes you radiant.
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    Learn relaxation methods. When you are at ease, people will respond positively, making you feel attractive and present to others. Think about it--when you see someone who looks comfortable in her skin, you can't help but want to be a part of that relaxed way of being. The following are helpful practices that will slowly lower the amount of tension you habitually carry in your body:
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    Be comfortable in your clothes. If you feel physically uncomfortable in what you’re wearing, you will begin to develop an oppositional relationship to your body; in other words, a negative body image. Forcing yourself into clothes that don't fit well will make you see your body as too large or too small to wear what you want to wear.
    • Especially for women, wearing well-fitting clothing can change your perception of yourself for the better, increasing your confidence related to emotional management, social skills, and work-related tasks.[13]

Part 3
Making Attitude Changes to Feel Beautiful

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    Ground yourself in the truth of beauty. The funny thing about beauty is that we value it so highly without realizing that, on average, conventionally attractive people are not happier than anyone else. Remember that a sense of optimism, hope, satisfying relationships with others, and a sense of meaning and purpose life are what influence happiness the most. This means that in the grand scheme of things, there are many more important factors that influence total well-being and joyous living than outward appearance.[14]
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    Change your negative self-talk. It is very common to walk around all day with a "little voice" in your head that repeats critical and insecure thoughts, like how fat your cheeks are or how clumsy you are. But, the one great thing about that little voice is that you can put other thoughts in dialogue with it. [15] Replace the unkind messages in your head with neutral thoughts about the same things; for example, focusing on the rosiness of your cheeks rather than their size.
    • Going further, try to give challenge that little voice by silently answering it with the things you like most about yourself. Tell it why others might find you desirable--maybe you have luscious lips or tell the funniest jokes.
    • Soon you'll learn to see that qualities of your appearance and of your character are what make you attractive.
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    Accept your appearance. Accepting your appearance might be no small task, especially if you often find yourself fearing the judgment of others and being concerned with how you're supposed to look. Think about the features that you like and dislike about yourself, and try to understand that, wherever your opinion falls, all of these features combined make you who you are. Be proud of yourself and your appearance despite whether or not it matches conventional standards.
    • Stop judging yourself by taking your focus off of your appearance. Give yourself and the mirror a little time apart! People who view their image negatively tend to zoom in on their characteristics and flaws, and self-focus tends to also bring with it more self-criticism.[16]
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    Check reality. Stop comparing yourself to who and what you think others are. When you see a supermodel or a famous person who you’re tempted to compare yourself to, try thinking about these people more as genetic anomalies than standards of beauty to live up to.[17]Because our culture sets unrealistic standards for beauty, the importance of finding your unique beauty is all the more pressing.
    • Make an effort to focus on your achievements rather than your deficiencies. This means spending time taking stock of all of the unique things that you bring to the table.
    • Whenever you are tempted to compare yourself to others, try appreciating them instead of approaching with envy. Marvel in your differences and think about how boring life would be if everyone had the same gifts.
    • Besides, when you compare yourself to others, you are really comparing your insides to someone else's outsides. This means that you're bound to be disappointed--you have more knowledge about yourself, especially of the nasty little secrets that tend to be kept private.
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    Learn to take a compliment. Part of feeling beautiful is letting in others' positive opinions of you, too. Sometimes it can be so surprising or even confusing to hear praise that you end up signaling to others that compliments make you feel uncomfortable. In haste, we often end up responding to compliments by saying "Oh..." or "That's not true". At the bare minimum, be sure to respond with a positive acknowledgment of “Thanks,” remembering that timing is crucial.[18]
    • If you wait too long, the acknowledgment can be confusing, too soon and you could be interrupting the speaker.
    • Or, go above and beyond just acknowledging the compliment by elaborating on it or using it to open a new conversation. You can also share the wealth by giving an uplifting comment in return.[19]
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    Appreciate your progress. Sometimes it can be difficult to recognize how far you've come; in the past years, it's likely that you've come into your own just by virtue of growing and maturing. Maybe your skin has cleared since early adolescence or you've gained lots of confidence from new work or romantic opportunities. Look at old pictures and yearbooks. Take some time to laugh at how awkward you looked and felt compared to now, and treasure how far you've come.


  • Remember, people you find attractive not paying attention to you doesn't mean that you are not beautiful.
  • Don't be afraid to look in the mirror for as long as you want and smile at yourself and feel good for who you are.


  • Don't try to lose weight by taking unhealthy pills or not eating. If you want to lose weight, do it in a healthy way by exercising and eating right. Being slimmer doesn't necessarily mean you will look beautiful — being healthy does.

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Categories: Building and Maintaining Self Confidence