How to Fake a Way Through a Conversation

Do you find yourself often stuck in an uninteresting conversation with your boss/annoying "friend"/ex/other half/roommate/relatives/police? Well here's how to fake it so you can make it. Through the incredibly dull vowel-fest, that is.


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    Tune it all out. All you need to hear are the waves washing up on the peaceful shores of your inner happy place, and the occasional blabbed word shot from your oppressor's mouth. You only need to pay attention to the tone of the words in order to react accordingly. Which brings us to:
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    Reaction. Reaction is key. Otherwise, the whole thing could fall apart and you end up with a much longer, much more out of control conversation than you began with. When you hear an emphasized word, listen to the tone of that word. If it sounds negative, like the sound a dying cat might make, utter some nonsense like "oh, no!" and continue to look interested. Furrow your brows a little, too. If the word sounds positive, like the cheeriest cheerleader's highest-pitched squeal, you can make a corresponding sound like, "wow!" or, "that must have been something!". Raise your eyebrows and widen your eyes accordingly.
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    Look to listen. No matter what you happen to be thinking about at the time, keep your face in line with what the person is saying. Don't let your face betray your inner journey into la-la land, or the other party will get offended. Lean forward, focus your eyes at their eyebrows, and nod your head a lot. The eyebrows and hand gestures will clue you in to the general mood of the conversation, even if your head is somewhere else. At appropriate intervals, give a dramatic sigh or sympathetic eyebrow raise. Roll your eyes if necessary.
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    End it. If you feel this particular foray into the irritating world of blah-de-blah has continued far too long, find some way to get out of it. Become more animated, take over more of the discussion, and really act like you were just becoming really genuinely interested when ever so suddenly (and subtly, mind you) you notice the time. Say something to the effect of, "hey, you know what, this has been great but I really got to wrap this up. I'm due at ____ in 10 minutes, and _____ gets really upset when I'm late. You know how it is. See ya, _____, we'll have to catch up later." Leave without giving them a chance to interrupt. Remember to give a cheery wave and a smile!
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    Avoidance. This is the most vital step in the entire process. The other steps are only valid AFTER this step fails. The key to getting out of annoying conversations is either: a) change your point of view and become a more patient, kind, and caring person, or b) avoid the people who annoy you like the plague you would just love to stay and chat with but really can't right now. Your choice!

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Categories: Conversation Skills