How to Deal With Shy Children

Shy children are very sensitive when older, more mature people talk to them. They may hide away but most importantly they may just be wary of who is around them. You may feel a sense of awkwardness and stubbornness towards them, but all that can change if you just speak to them. Here are some steps to help you deal with that shy child.


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    Introduce yourself and make them feel comfortable around you. Smile and make eye contacts. Don't seem intimidating to them.
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    Keep your tone of voice in a higher pitch than normal. Don't sound too high pitched because you may sound fake. Basically, just sound happy and polite. Children pick up on low, uneasy tones of voice.
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    Bend down to eye level. Don't stare at them, it makes them uneasy. Sit down or grab a chair and face they at eye level. They will concentrate on you, and only you, most of the time.
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    Talk to them about anything children enjoy, such as cartoons, toys and games. They will become more trustworthy of you. It also draws their participation into whatever conversation you are trying to initiate.
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    Invite them to play a game. Try getting a group consisting of you or other children. This way, they will see that they don't have to be shy around you and will become slightly more comfortable around other children.
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    Act confident. If you're not, they may feel uneasy and make them feel even more shy. Your confidence tends to be contagious and it easily and quickly affects them. The more confident you are, the more likely they are to open up to you.


  • Smile, it makes them feel safer and more secure. Let it be genuine, one way or the other, they are able to detect fake smiles.
  • Don't use big words. They might not understand them and you might end up not communicating anything.
  • When they are withdrawing, don't make fun of them or draw attention to them.
  • Observe which of your actions draws their attention most. Do well to repeat those actions but with variations, so they don't get bored.
  • Ask them what they want to do. Do activities they they chose. Then you will seem more fun.
  • Tell jokes or sing nursery rhymes or songs with them.
  • Don't take them anywhere on your own, they will feel uneasy and scared. Keep them somewhat near their parents, siblings and friends in case they become scared.


  • Don't act too matured or too childish around them. Children identify with their age groups.
  • Don't scare them in anyway. Young children don't forget traumatic events from their youth.

Article Info

Categories: Overcoming Shyness & Insecurities