How to Deal With Moving Away from Friends

Three Methods:Leaving Your Old FriendsKeeping in TouchMeeting New People

When you move away from friends, you have an exciting opportunity to make new friends while keeping the old. Before you leave, you should say goodbye to your friends while looking forward to your new home. Staying in touch is easier than ever with technology, but you should also make an effort to meet people in your new home. Soon, you will realize that by moving you have more friends than ever.

Method 1
Leaving Your Old Friends

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    Throw a going away party. Gather all of your old friends in one place for a party. You can throw it at your old home, or you can go out to a restaurant or park. Use this party to say goodbye to your friends. At this time, you can give them all your new mailing address or let them know the next time you will be in town.[1]
    • Set a date a week or two before you move. You don’t want it too close to your move because you will be busy packing, but too far in advance will not give you closure.
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    Focus on the positive aspects of moving. While you may have mixed emotions about your move, there are undoubtedly some good things that will result from it. Try to remember the positive aspects of your move. Get excited for the new opportunities, experiences, and friends you will have. If it helps, you can write a list of ten things you are looking forward to in your new home.[2]
    • If you’re in high school, think about the opportunities at your new school. Research what clubs and organizations you want to join. Maybe you will have a better bedroom in your new home or a yard.
    • If you’re going away to college or university, consider the new freedom that you will have. Look forward to sports games, dances, and decorating your dorm.
    • If you are an adult moving to a new city, remind yourself of why you are moving there. Will you have a better job or cost living in the city? Does the city have a better night life? Are there more public venues there like museums and parks?
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    Ask for support. Let your old friends know that you are anxious about leaving. You can tell them that you will miss them or that you are worried about making new friends. By being honest with your friends, they will know to call you and check up on you during the moving process.[3]
    • If you are a student, you can also talk to your parents or a school guidance counselor. Be honest about your feelings. Tell them, “I understand this move is good for us, but I can’t help but sad about leaving my friends. I’m worried I won’t have friends in our new home.”[4]
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    Research your new home. A good way to get excited about your new town is to start looking up things that you can do there.[5] You will feel less anxious about meeting people or socializing if you have an idea what will be available to you in the future. It will also help you feel like you are in control of your move.[6] Some things to research:
    • Where do you live? Where it is in relation to your school, work, movie theaters, or shopping centers?
    • Where are good places to hang out?
    • What activities are there? Are there museums, amusement parks, shopping centers, or outdoor activities?
    • What clubs and organizations can I join there?
    • Where are the good restaurants?

Method 2
Keeping in Touch

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    Send messages. Texting and instant messaging are great ways to keep in touch informally. A quick “how are you?” can help you communicate even over large distances. If there is a significant time difference between your old and new homes, instant messaging allows your friends to reply when it is convenient for them.[7]
    • Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, and Snapchat are good apps for staying in touch.[8]
    • Like friends' pictures on social media, and leave comments. This will help open up natural ways of conversation when you are far apart.
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    Schedule video chats. Decide with your friends a good time to chat over video. Make video dates every week or two weeks to stay in touch. Talking face to face will help you when you are missing them. Setting a schedule will make sure that you actually follow through on your communication. Some video chat programs include:[9]
    • Facetime
    • Skype
    • Google Hangouts
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    Remember important occasions. If your old friends have birthdays or important anniversaries, you should try to send them a message, even if you have not talked in a while. If you can, send them a card or small present in the mail.
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    Visit. If you have not moved far away, visiting your old friends may be an option. Make plans to go back to your old town, and inform all of your old friends that you will be there. Invite them to at least one planned activity. This could be a group dinner, a hike, or a barbecue at a friend’s house. Visiting makes your leaving seem like less of a final goodbye.
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    Plan a trip together. If you cannot visit your old town, perhaps you can make plans with your old friends to go somewhere new together. Decide together where you will go. Spending a couple days together doing something new and adventurous will help you continue to make memories.[10]

Method 3
Meeting New People

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    Introduce yourself to your new neighbors. Once you have settled into your new place, you should knock on the doors of your neighbors' homes. Introduce yourself as the new resident. You can tell them where you just came from and what you’re doing in your new town. Be sure to ask questions about the local area. If a conversation begins, you may even want to invite them over for dinner sometime.
    • You can say, “Hi there. I’m your new neighbor. I wanted to introduce myself. I’m new around here, and any advice you could give me would be appreciated.”
    • If you are a high school student, you can ask your parents to scout out who has children your age. If you can figure out which of your neighbors are your age, you can go to their house and introduce yourself. You can say, “Hi, I’m the new kid here. I was wondering if you could tell me what’s fun to do around here.”
    • If you’re in college, your dorm mates may be in the same situation as you. Knock on the doors of the rooms around yours.[11] After you introduce yourself, tell them that you are inviting a group out, and ask them if they want to come. Say, “I think some of us here are going out to the dining hall together tonight. Do you want to join us?”
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    Find activities that interest you. A new town means new opportunities. If you have a hobby, interest, or skill, you can find people who are interested in the same activities. Keeping busy will help you adjust to your new place while letting you find friends with ease. Some fun activities include:[12]
    • Going to a local festival
    • Watching sports at a bar or stadium
    • Attending a concert
    • Completing a 5K
    • Volunteering at a local charity
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    Join a local organization. Clubs, societies, and other organizations are great places to meet people with similar beliefs and interests. There are many ways to become involved in such organizations. You can research groups online at your town’s website, or read flyers at local shops for more information.
    • If you are in high school or university, you can ask your school’s administration for a list of clubs and organizations. Some fun clubs include band, movie appreciation society, honors society, dance club, debate club, or knitting club.
    • If you are religious, try to find a house of worship near you. Introduce yourself as a new member on the first day. You may find that the other members are happy to welcome you.
    • If you are an adult in a new city, try taking classes for new or old hobbies. These include gym classes, courses at a community college, or a crafting night at an art store.[13]
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    Accept invitations. Your classmates, neighbors, or workmates may invite you out to welcome you to their community. You should try to accept as many of these invitations as possible. Jumping straight into your new social life will help you adjust much quicker to your new place. If they do not invite you out, take the initiative, and ask them to do something.[14] You can say:
    • “Hey, I was thinking of getting lunch. Can you show me some good places around here? Would you like to come?”
    • “Do you want to hang out after class sometime?”
    • “What is there to do around here?” When they answer, say, “Oh, that sounds fun. Do you want to do that sometime?”

Tips

  • Whenever you miss your friends, send them a text message to let them know you are thinking about them.
  • Remember it is okay to make new friends. They will not replace your old friends.
  • Don't blame your parents. They probably moved for good reasons.

Warnings

  • Do not lose contact. Even if you haven’t talked in a while, you can still send a message asking them how they are.
  • It may take time for you to make new friends in a different environment, but keep at it. You will find friends.

Article Info

Categories: Changing and Losing Friends