How to Deal with Favoritism in Your Family

Do your siblings always get the most Christmas presents? Are you unfairly compared to them, or considered useless compared to them? Although favoritism is unfortunate, it does happen a lot. Sometimes we're not even aware of it unless our very child tells us how it affects them.


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    Don't take it personally. You are special with your own quirks and traits. Don't allow your parents' favoritism to get to your self-esteem. It's just that the favored sibling's abilities are noticed more then yours. It doesn't mean you don't have any good qualities.
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    Talk to your family members about how you feel. You can't force them to change, but by knowing how you feel when they favor someone else, they will most likely change because they love you. Sit your parents down and tell them your emotions.
    • For example, you could say "Mom and Dad, I feel hurt and unimportant when you favor (sibling's name) over me. Could you please not do that?"
    • Be honest with your feelings and don't sugarcoat the situation. Favoritism is wrong, even if your parents aren't aware of it. Be calm and don't yell but be firm.
    • If they don't care about how you feel, thank them for hearing you and don't avoid bringing up the subject again but with maturity and show your family that you aren't going to be put down by their favoritism. If they still don't understand, make sure this doesn't break your sibling bond.
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    Avoid blaming the favored sibling. Although it may seem tempting to blame your sibling for what's happening, don't. It isn't your sibling's fault they are being favored as they didn't ask for it. Still be nice to them and respect them. Blaming doesn't do anything effective, and in the end both of you will be hurt.
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    Spend some individual time with your family. Usually, the reason why favoritism happens, is because the parent/guardian/relative views the unfavored child as "just another family member" rather then an individual. You need to let them know that you are individually different, with your own talents and qualities. For example, if your Dad likes baseball, just you and him could attend a baseball game. Or if you're a girl and enjoy shopping, you and your Mom could just go to the mall and shop.

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Categories: Family Life