How to Deal with Commotion at Home

Stand back and observe the situation as if you are looking through an open window. Remember if change is going to happen it is up to you..IF IT"S TO BE..IT'S UP TO ME!

Steps

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    Be consistent in your approach.
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    When observing the commotion, remember to look for what isn't being spoken.
    • This is the time when less means more. A time to listen without judging.
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    Place yourself in the other persons place reminding yourself that there might be more happening for that person than you know.
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    When listening, give your full attention to the person by keeping eye contact and validating the other person.
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    Allow space for pauses and open expression.
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    Remind yourself that commotion is often driven from a place of feeling unheard, disrespected, unloved and not appreciated.
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    When looking for a solution, look inward at your role and what you can change to defuse the situation.
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    Remember you can only change you and your role in the commotion.
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    Often when we make a change that is positive by taking a walk or refusing to challenge the thinking of others the commotion stops.
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    Often commotion escalates when we feel the need to explain and express our views.
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    Remember when there is commotion you are not being heard.
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    When the commotion is deescalated and the house is returned to quiet ... it is time to have a talk about what happened and problem solve for the future.
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    Remember be positive ... instead of saying what you want to stop, rephrase it to what you want to see more of.
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    Remember to not allow the actions of others steal your power.
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    Forgive for yourself and move on keeping your power.
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    Remember forgiving doesn't mean condoning the actions it just means you are refusing to allow others to own your thinking.
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    Life is so short, live in the moment and make all your moments count.

Tips

  • Be patience with yourself it takes time to break old habits.
  • Be patience with others they need to know the new you is here to stay.

Warnings

  • Often when you change your own behaviour people who are dysfunctional may choose not to be in your company.
  • Often behaviour escalates when consistency is introduced.
  • Often when you change your approach it takes time for others to come along.

Article Info

Categories: Family Life