wikiHow to Date a Guy when His Best Friend Likes You

Being in a relationship can be complicated, difficult and it takes a lot of will to make that first step. When your boyfriend's best friend has feelings for you as well, things can get even more complicated. Here is how to deal with this situation without hurting him or anyone else.


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    Talk to his friend. Sit down with your partner's friend. Remember to explain this kindly but be very clear. You need to tell them that your feelings are with their friend and that you want to commence a relationship with that person. If they try to continue this relationship confront the person again. Tell him that hitting on you any further will make you think less of him. If it gets even worse and he still won't leave you alone, try telling the guy you like, maybe he will try to reason with his best friend. Usually this is a time to think about your actions towards him carefully one small step at a time. When you tell him you want to date another guy be nice and careful when you tell him.
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    Make sure your date knows.Talk to your date about the conversation you had with his friend so that he knows as well about his friends feelings for you and can be aware if he tries anything on you. Remember to be respectful of the other boy. They are good friends. Hopefully your date's friend will not harbor any ill feelings towards your date, because if he does he would be proving to be a very lousy friend. Don't be afraid to talk to your date because you think he might choose his friend over you. If he does, drop him like a hot potato because you deserve better. If he chooses you and this leads to their friendship cooling off, do not feel guilty. It wasn't your fault. People gain and lose friends all the time. Be sure that if he does dump you that you have done your best at any cost to explain.
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    Be nice. Don't show him that you are sad or he might want to keep you a little closer to him. Not only do they not feel them for you they feel them for your friend. Let him down gently because if you do end up dating the guy you want to date, this friend will still be a part of his life and yours too. Being rude may hurt your possible relationship. Consider the possibility of him talking bad about you to your date.
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    Be considerate. Being rejected hurts everybody, even the toughest of us all. It is important that you remember this. Do not go taunting your new found happiness with his friend in front of him until you are sure that all his feelings for you are completely gone. It will only make him miserable and jealous. When you and your date are around this person keep it low key in the romance department but a happy and positive vibe to help him recover. If he still is having a hard time getting over it, for a while afterwards try to build him up but don't make it so that he might get led on to that you like him. Tell him you think he is a fun person (if you indeed think so, remember, be honest) but that you are not attracted to him. It will help him realize that you want to be friends not anything more. Date a Guy when His Best Friend Likes You Step
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    Rebuild. Because of this guy's presence in your date's life it is important you build a connection with him based in friendship, not love. He will hurt for a while after your initial rejection but as time passes, it will get easier for him. When it does set about trying to build a friendship with him. Encourage him to join you in group outings and participate, If he really did have feelings for you eventually he will be happy that you and his friend are happy. Do not, I repeat, do not baby him. He is not a small child, he is a grown man, and while yes rejection hurts us all, he does not get extra coddling just because he is your dates friend.
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    Make sure your boyfriend is a part of everything. Let him know that you are doing your best to be friends with this person. He will most likely appreciate it. If you are worried that he may be thinking you are spending to much time with his friend in your efforts to become friends, think it over because you might be. Make sure you are communicating with him and have a relationship built on mutual trust.
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    Help him move on. This is optional. It is not your job to find him a girlfriend. If he has been a good sport and has respected you and agreed to be just friends, and if you are happy that you have found happiness, maybe give something back to the universe and help him find someone new. Suggest date nights between you and your date (if he gets over you) and him with a friend of yours. Suggest some cool girls he could approach at a bar or school. Initially after rejection this is going to be the last thing he wants to do but as time passes, re-entering the dating world will come. If you care about your date then you it would be cool if you also cared about the important people in his life.
    • If you do not want to do this, ask your date to do it, after all that is what friends are for. Anyway, he should be happy to do it, especially if it means getting his friend to stop looking at you the same way he does.
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    • If nothing else works, do not avoid him. Do not let him affect your decisions. If you want to go hang out with your date you go do that. If he is there and tries to talk to you, and you don't feel comfortable with it tell him that and walk away.
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    • Give him a serious talk. If he is ignoring all your efforts to be a friend, and acts inappropriately toward you, it is time for straight talk. Be direct and maybe even blunt if he is just not getting the message. Make sure that you make it clear to him that you are interested in his friend, not him. You have to get the message to him one way or another, and it may have to be somewhat rude if all else fails.
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    Beware. If you make the friend mad, that friend can easily turn on you and lie about you to your date. Depending on how long you have known your date, this could easily turn your date against you, especially if your date doesn't know that this friend likes you romantically. Make sure to have a conversation about the friend who likes you to your date. Also make sure he knows you only like him and want nothing to do with the friend. Communication is key, make sure your boyfriend knows what's up. Still, if his friend turns around in spite of your efforts to be kind to him, then do not be afraid to spite him. Stop caring about how he feels because he clearly does not care how you feel. If he does try to turn your boyfriend against you (if you have talked to him), hopefully your date is confident enough in your relationship to trust you. But if he believes his friend's lies over you (no matter how long you have been dating), then you may be dating the wrong person. Just be careful.


  • Talking face-to-face will be more helpful in showing your sincere feelings than texting or calling him.
  • If things get messy and there seems to be yelling that is going around, don't be a part of it! Fighting is not the answer. Try to break it up with logic and reason.
  • Additionally, being honest is the real key in life. All you need to do is open up and provide real facts to both of them, while avoiding a conflict in days to come.
  • Hang out. If your dream guy is talking to him, go up to them and continue their conversation. You'll be close friends with him and then you can gain his trust. Then you can tell him that you like someone else, but it's always good to have a nice friend around.
  • Be honest about your feelings! Tell the guy you like how you feel, but kindly let down the guy you don't.
  • Don't try to hide it from your date. That can only escalate to your date getting angry because of him not knowing it. Don't avoid the guy either, you don't want to make him feel left out.
  • Avoid prolonged gazes. You are in a relationship with your boyfriend, not his friend so don't give any hints that you like him too.
  • Don't go to him about any problems that arise in you and your boyfriend's relationship. It is best to avoid talking to anyone of the opposite sex about relationship issues because they can easily interpret it as an invitation to become romantically involved with you and misinterpret what your intentions are even if you just want to talk.
  • Always openly communicate with your boyfriend or husband and let him know if his friend makes you feel uncomfortable.


  • The friend might become upset and problems may occur between their friendship. If they are sensitive you may feel like not "dropping the bomb" and that is okay, you can try to be kind but if he is not getting the message, it would be kinder to tell him directly so he knows he needs to get over it.
  • Know that if problems do occur in their friendship, this is not your fault.

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Categories: Dating