How to Cut Off Your in Laws

Toxic in laws are bad news. If they keep dealing out the negative emotions and guilt trips, and you're sick of it, cut the ties (either temporarily or permanently) and free yourself.


  1. 1
    Learn to stand up for yourself. Don't make your spouse to stand up for you. He or she is caught between you and his or her family. If your spouse loves you properly, he or she won't be telling you to behave nicely.
  2. 2
    Remember that just because people say that they're family, this doesn't make them family. Actions speak louder than words and if they say one thing, but do things that make it clear they're alienating you, then they haven't accepted you as true family. Don't feel bad about cutting ties if you have to.
  3. 3
    Be sure that you have good reasons for cutting the ties. Here are a few good reasons that might motivate you to cut off your in-laws:
    • If they are always rude, say bad things to your kids, treat you like you don't matter or talk about you behind your back and they never stop, is isn't going to change.
    • If they keep asking you for money (mooching) and never pay back, that is bad news.
    • If they never look after your kids, that is lazy or selfish. It's worse if they look after the other kids and not yours.
    • If they call you names and gossip about you a lot, that is never acceptable.
  4. 4
    Decide how much you want your in laws out of you life. You can cut them off a little or a lot. It can be a temporary rupture or a permanent one. If you just want to not talk them, that's okay. You can go to family events but just ignore them. But this can be hard and it is better to cut them out of your life completely and not go to any family meetings.
  5. 5
    Stay calm. If they get angry with you, don't argue back. You don't have a good relationship with them anymore but you don't need to yell or fight. It will help them to see that you mean what you say about keeping your distance and staying uninvolved. Forget about teaching them any lesson, you just want them gone or at least in the background.
  6. 6
    Realize that they may try to manipulate you to come back. You must be ready for this! Tell them you aren't interested in coming back or bean part of their family again. It may be an epic struggle but for the sake of your well-being, it's worth the effort.

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Categories: Managing Conflict and Difficult Interactions