How to Cultivate and Keep Personal Relationships

Cultivating personal relationships requires a willingness to invest of your time, energy, and self without guarantee of a beneficial return. Still, relationships can be one of the most rewarding experiences of life, it is up to you to decide if the effort is worth the risk.


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    Be willing to express your desire to get to know someone. If you have someone in mind, you may have already begun to make inroads in this direction, you just need to decide what works for you.
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    Look for a person or people who have similar interests and values as yourself. Age is not an automatic requirement, but great disparities in age may equate to fundamental differences in life views.
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    Consider availability. If you or the person you are seeking to form a relationship work different shifts, live a significant distance apart, or are involved in complicated family situations that demand a substantial amount of time, you may find these to be obstacles to working toward a relationship.
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    Practice listening to the person you are interested in developing a relationship with. This will give you insight on their history, philosophy, and expectations from a relationship.
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    Ask the person questions. People are more likely to respond if they feel you are interested in them, than just discussing the weather, sports, business, and the like. Be aware that they may not want to share a lot of detail at the beginning, but building trust is fundamental to developing a relationship to begin with.
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    Remember details. Remembering birthdays, names and ages of relatives, and other significant information will show the person you really are interested, not just enjoying small talk.
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    Be willing to let your own guard down. This doesn't mean telling all your deepest, darkest secrets, just be willing to talk about yourself. Many people find this a difficult thing to do.
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    Forgiveness is also important in a relationship that has value to you. To keep a personal relationship, try to listen before criticizing. Especially when you feel as though there is something to be angry about, it's important to hold your tongue and try to understand the other person. This way, you can grow in a relationship.
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    Remember that the other person is not there to make you happy. Your happiness is your responsibility so minimize blaming. This way, you can enjoy the other person's company without feeling dependent on them.


  • When beginning to build a relationship, take care to recognize names, dates, and events that are mentioned while talking. This tends to emphasize the fact you care about them.


  • Many times, people expect different things in a developing relationship, and failing to meet those expectations can cause regrets and pain down the road.

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Categories: Maintaining Relationships