wikiHow to Create Absolute Confidence

Two Parts:Understanding Your ValueBehaving confidently

A genuinely confident person knows who they are and what they are good at, and they aren’t afraid to show it. They know when to take the lead, when to speak up, and, just as importantly, when to sit back and listen. Genuine confidence stems from a deep appreciation of your own identity and value, rather than from simple bluster and arrogance.

Part 1
Understanding Your Value

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    Acknowledge your strengths. To feel and display a sense of confidence, you must make a special effort to acknowledge the skills, experiences and personality traits which help you excel (your strengths). [1]
    • Ask yourself: What areas of my life am I happy with? What tasks am I especially good at accomplishing? Which features of my personality are admirable or useful to me?
    • It can be helpful to make a list of your strengths to consult, or add to, later on.
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    Identify your weaknesses. To avoid overconfidence or arrogance be sure to balance an understanding of your strengths with an acknowledgment of where you could stand to improve.[2]
    • Ask yourself: Which areas of my life could use improvement.? What tasks am I especially poor at accomplishing? What features of my personality are holding me back from being the sort of person I'd like to be?
    • Make a list of your weaknesses alongside your list of strengths.
    • Be honest. If you have a hard time being objective about your weaknesses (or strengths), make time to talk with someone you can trust to be impartial and honest, such as a supervisor, therapist, or career counselor.
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    Seek out opportunities for self-improvement. Classes and training programs are great ways of improving your skills, and increasing your professional self-worth, but are by no means the only avenues towards self-improvement. Think outside the box, and really consider which areas in your life would be most satisfying to work on, and improve. [3]
    • Becoming more physically fit and healthy can be a great confidence booster. Consider making a change in your diet and exercise habits.
    • Consider taking a class or joining a club related to something that interests you, even if it's not a part of your job. Cooking classes, writing workshops, or other such programs are a great way to connect with yourself, leading to an increased feeling of personal identity and confidence.
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    Practice positive self-talk. Simply listing out your strengths as a person doesn’t always translate into an instant improvement in your feelings of self-worth, so it is very important that you actively remind yourself of these strengths on a daily basis. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back when you accomplish a goal, or display an admirable trait. When you stumble or fail, remind yourself that you are taking steps to improve.[4]
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    Visit a counselor. Especially if you struggle with anxiety, depression, or other mental and emotional difficulties, consider seeking professional guidance through a therapist or counselor. These professionals can be a great source of insight into the root causes of a lack of confidence for anyone, regardless of their overall mental health. #*If you need help finding a therapist, talk to your doctor for a referral, or contact your medical insurance provider.

Part 2
Behaving confidently

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    Use confident body language. You communicate a lot to the world non-verbally by how you move and hold your body. Controlling these factors will not only make you seem more confident to your friends, family, coworkers or schoolmates, but will also enhance your own feelings of confidence and self-worth. Here are some tips for correcting your body language:[5]
    • Maintain a straight-backed posture as much as possible, with your head held high. This conveys attention and confidence.
    • Avoid fidgeting with your hands or feet. This will make you seem (and feel) more calm and in control.
    • Remind yourself to slow down and take things at a steady pace, especially if you tend to move or speak very quickly.
    • Keep your body language “open”. Crossed arms can convey a sense of anger or arrogance, and should be avoided.
    • Smile! There is no easier way to convey comfort and ease in a social context than with a warm, genuine grin.
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    Take pride in your appearance. Being conscious of your clothing and personal hygiene is an easy way of conveying confidence and control to the world, and is a great way of showing care for yourself, and improving your overall self-worth.[6]
    • Taking pride in your appearance doesn't necessarily mean purchasing new clothing or changing your "look". Keeping a clean room, house, car, or work space is a great way to positively impact others' perception of you, and increase your own self worth.
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    Listen. Knowing when to just sit back and listen to what other have to say is just as important as knowing when to talk (if not more so). Too much blabbing can make you seem arrogant, or insecure. Instead, concentrate on really understanding what others say to you, and then respond. [7]
    • Show the person you are speaking with that you are actively listening to them by maintaining eye contact during your conversation.
    • Ask for clarification if you don’t understand what someone is saying to you. This shows the person you are speaking with that you really care about what they’re saying.
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    Speak your mind. A genuinely confident person makes themselves heard when they have something important to say. Don’t hold back simply because you are unsure of what others may feel about your opinion or perspective. Remember: you are a person of value, and you deserve the opportunity to express yourself. [8]
    • Be assertive, not aggressive. Propose solutions to problems, rather than simply stating them as if they are someone else’s to to solve.
    • Remember that others have a right to disagree with you. Take such disagreement in stride, and try not to become angry or sullen. Instead, try to understand and resolve the disagreement calmly.
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    Admit vulnerability. While a confident person is always ready to stand up for themselves when they are in the right, they are just as ready to admit when they are wrong. When you don’t know the answer to a question, or when you have made a mistake, always be ready to ask for help. This will not only help you learn and improve, which will ultimately boost your self-worth and confidence, but it will also convey to others that you are comfortable enough with yourself to admit when you are wrong.[9]


  • Confidence can take a great deal of time to master. Be patient with yourself, and celebrate your decision to make positive change in your life.
  • Don’t be afraid to take risks, and shake up your routine. One of the great benefits of real confidence is that it provides the personal stability and control to step (carefully) outside of your comfort zone.

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Categories: Building and Maintaining Self Confidence