How to Cope With Having a Nanny

Two Parts:When you don't like your nannyDiscovering your own coping mechanisms

A nanny is someone who cares for children part of the time, while parents are busy working or running their business. Nannies are a great help in a household and have a lot of time to help raise you, which can make it fun if you get a good nanny. However, if you don't like your nanny, or feel that she or he ignores you or doesn't treat you very nicely, it can be a trial. Coping with having a nanny when you really don't want one requires learning ways of expressing yourself more clearly and learning to see your nanny as a helpful part of your family's structure.

Part 1
When you don't like your nanny

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    If you don't like your nanny, consider why this might be. Is it because you would rather be alone or with your parents? Is it because your nanny seems strict or uninterested in you? Is it because your nanny spends a lot of time doing housework and less time playing with you? Think about the reasons that cause you to not like your nanny that much.
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    Consider changing your attitude about your nanny. Are your concerns realistic or are they just something you'd prefer to be? Maybe you can change your point of view and try to look at the situation differently. The section below this one has a series of suggestions for developing your own coping mechanisms, and it's suggested that you try those before giving up on your nanny.
    • For example, perhaps your nanny annoys you because she doesn't make the food you like to eat. You could choose to see this as an opportunity to try new foods or to find online recipes for your nanny to follow instead. If you lead the way and explain what you'd prefer, maybe your nanny will be impressed and follow your suggestions.
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    Realize that your nanny is a person too. While it is a difficult concept to grasp, much the same as with teachers, nannies are human too. Your nanny has feelings, concerns and problems just as you do. The difference is that your nanny is an adult, and should therefore behave responsibly. If you do not feel that your nanny is being responsible, you will need to talk to your parents.
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    Talk to your parents if you really can't see your way to liking the nanny. If you want a change in the way that your nanny behaves, it is probably best to tell your parents what is bothering you. Be clear about why you're not happy, otherwise they might think you're just being difficult or even selfish. Remember that your parents are likely very busy and are doing their best to provide you with top notch care and they want you to be happy. They will listen to genuine complaints but they'll be unimpressed if you just feel out of sorts and don't like the nanny without good reason.
    • Find genuine reasons to tell your parents about. For example, if your nanny has hurt you physically or emotionally, if she or he calls you names or fails to feed you, etc., tell your parents immediately, as this is abusive. On the other hand, if your nanny rebukes you (tells you off) for being late or for throwing food or for teasing your sibling, etc., he or she is just doing their job.

Part 2
Discovering your own coping mechanisms

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    Be helpful. Pick up after yourself, put things away, offer to help with some tasks and do what you're asked to do when asked. It's faster to be helpful and gains you both more time for fun and keeps nanny happier.
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    Be clear about things you are not happy about. Tell your nanny when something annoys, bothers or upsets you. Your nanny is not a mind reader and may simply not realize that she or he has done something that upsets you. If you make a clear statement about something that the nanny did (or failed to do), naming the action and stating how it upset you, your nanny will be able to address the matter openly with you. This avoids seething and feeling rotten and can result in a complete change!
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    Realize that when your nanny asks you to do things, he or she is in a position of authority over you. Maybe you don't like the fact that the nanny is telling you what to do and the nanny is bossing you about and isn't even related to you. Remember that your parents have paid this person to take good care of you and expect him or her to be responsible for your safety and well-being. Hence, your nanny will ask you to stop doing things, to help out, to pick up after yourself, etc. at times, because this is all part of being a helpful and a good family member. Every time the nanny is telling you what to do, then imagine it's your parents telling you, because your nanny will only be doing what the parents ask of her or him.
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    Take your own time out if you feel really angry, annoyed or fed up with your nanny. Instead of taking out your emotions on this person, go away for a little bit and just chill out. Let your feelings work through you before going back and sorting things out with your nanny. That way, you'll both feel better and be in a good place to talk things through.
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    Be friendly. See this as a new chance to make a friend. A nanny is a great person to talk to, as they are older than you and can give you advice about your problems. In some cases, you may grow more comfortable telling your nanny about things than you will with your parents; it is always nice to have an extra ear to tell, an additional shoulder to lean on.
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    Don't keep your sadness to yourself. If you miss your parents when they are out and the nanny is there, then tell your nanny that you really miss them. Your nanny will be more understanding about why you're feeling down and won't worry that it's something she or he has done.
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    Find similarities between you, and focus on those rather than the differences. If you both like the same TV show, board game, etc., then you'll be able to spend time sharing that activity together and learning more as a team.
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Categories: Parenting