wikiHow to Communicate with a Girl when She Is Not Around

Do you want to spend more time with a girl, but never get the chance because she is so busy? Maybe you like a girl but she is not in your classes or group of friends, and you never get the chance to talk to her. Maybe she is involved in many activities, or has exams coming up and is always busy studying. Maybe she doesn't go to your school or lives far away. No matter what your situation is, this article will help you talk with a girl you hardly ever see.


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    Be her friend on Facebook. This is an appropriate way to get closer to a girl you don't know very well, or stay connected with a close friend.
    • Like her status updates, photos and covers.
    • Send her messages. If you bonded over something you do together, such as a sports team or tutor group then start off with something like "Well done at tennis today!" If you share interests then post something about that, such as "I though you might like this video about soccer! *link*" If you want to maintain a friendship, or are interested in her romantically then just talk to her like you would if you saw her at school, e.g. "How are you?" "I had a great time at the movies with you yesterday!" etc.
    • Post funny pictures/videos, links to websites or in-jokes to her wall.
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    Get her phone number. Text her asking her about her day, or with a funny joke, or asking her to do something together. Talk about stuff that you have in common such as shared interests and school.
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    Use other social networks. Get Snap Chat, Skype, etc.


  • Use lots of smiley faces! Girls love smileys. But don't use the more suggestive faces, such as winks, love hearts and kisses, unless you are in a relationship or she does it first.
  • Try to gauge her mood when you are talking to her. If she has achieved something or is feeling happy then make sure that when the conversation is over she is still happy. e.g. "Congratulations on your award!", "You're amazing", or send her jokes and funny pictures. If she is upset, stressed or ill, try to comfort her and cheer her up. e.g. "Oh no! I hope you recover from the flu soon; I will miss you tomorrow at school.", "Don't worry about the rumours that guy spread, you are a really nice girl and nobody will believe him." or offer to do something for her.
  • Use a friendly tone and don't say anything offensive.
  • Keep the conversation light at first. Discuss your day, your favourite foods, animals, TV shows, etc. Only talk about topics such as religion, politics and relationships when you know her better.


  • Don't keep messaging her if she doesn't respond. This will annoy her and she won't want to talk to you.
  • Don't just respond with one word answers, it's really frustrating. If she asks you a question, elaborate on your answer - tell an anecdote from your day, give her a link to a funny picture or website, etc.
  • Don't say anything that might be misinterpreted. It is often hard to gauge tone, facial expression and body language over text so don't say something sarcastic or ironic that may upset her, even if you intended it to be a joke.
  • Don't be rude. If she says something that upsets you, talk to her about it in a calm, mature manner, or log off if you're too upset.
  • Use appropriate language - minimise swearing and don't use derogatory terms.
  • Don't send inappropriate pictures and don't ask her for any.
  • Ask questions! Don't just ask a "yes/no" question, and don't keep asking like it's a job interview. Respond to her answer. Something simple like "Awesome! I love pizza too!" is ok, or you could ask her another question about it e.g. "I love pizza too! What's your favourite flavour?"
  • Unless there is no way to arrange a face-to-face conversation, avoid talking about important, emotional topics. Don't break up with her or tell her that a person/pet died over text.

Article Info

Categories: Maintaining Relationships