How to Click With Anybody You Meet

Three Methods:Using Body LanguageFinding Common GroundMaintaining Meaningful Connections

For some people, “clicking” with anybody is second nature. But for the rest of us, it’s not so easy. Using body language to make a positive impression, finding common ground, and maintaining meaningful connections will help you “click” with people.

Method 1
Using Body Language

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    Smile. A simple smile is one of the easiest ways to connect with other people. When you meet someone new, smile while greeting and talking with her or him. It only takes a moment, can have a positive effect on others, and affects how others perceive you. [1]
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    Make eye contact. Making eye contact can deepen your connection with others. Look someone in the eye while speaking or listening. Maintaining eye contact builds trust and creates a sense of comfort and safety that can help others open up to you.[2]
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    Practice positive body language. Our first impressions of people are often linked to body language. Positive body language can draw others to you and help build connections without saying a word.[3]
    • Don’t cross your arms. Keep them open and relaxed.
    • Lean in toward the person talking to you.
    • Nod your head or smile while the other person is talking.

Method 2
Finding Common Ground

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    Talk about subjects others can relate to. Finding commonalities is an important part of clicking with others. Begin connecting with new people by talking about something others can relate to.[4]
    • Ask your co-worker about a common aspect of your work. You could say, “Ann, I really enjoyed reading your last report. Do you have any tips on the final editing process?”
    • If you find yourself with new friends at a football game, try saying, “Our team is really talented this year. Do you think we’ll make it to the championship?”
    • Connect with your new classmates by talking about the coursework or readings. For example, you can ask, “What did you think about the book we read this week?”
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    Ask questions. Sometimes people are hesitant to open up, and asking questions opens up the door for connecting. Ask open questions that will help you learn about the other person, rather than closed questions that can be answered with a yes, no, or short response.[5]
    • Try asking, “Why did you choose to become a teacher?” instead of “Do you like being a teacher?”
    • You could ask, “Why do you want to study abroad in Spain” instead of “Are you excited about studying in another country?”
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    Be an active listener. Listening to others helps us obtain information, understand, and learn.[6]
    • Pay careful attention to what the other person is saying without becoming distracted by what’s going on around you.
    • Don’t think about what you will say next while the other person is speaking.
    • Show that you’re listening with a nod.
    • Provide feedback by asking questions to clarify specific points the other person brought up.
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    Be genuine. Be authentic and take a genuine interest the people you are trying to connect with. People will sense if you are not authentic in your interactions. If you’re not genuinely interested in who a person is or the type of work they do, don’t pursue the connection.[7]

Method 3
Maintaining Meaningful Connections

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    Exchange contact information. When you click with someone new, it’s important to have a means of connecting again whether it is through email, social media, phone, or in person. Before leaving, be sure to exchange contact information.
    • Try saying, “It was really great meeting you, Roy. I’d love to connect again in the future. What’s the best way to get in touch?”
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    Follow up. It’s important to follow up with people you meet, whether they are potential new friends or professional contacts. If you click with a new person, a call, email, or text is a great way to follow up.[8]
    • Send a short email to the person you met at a professional networking event. For example, you could write, “Thank you for taking the time to talk with me about your work. I’d love to hear more about it next time you’re in New York for business.”
    • Send brief message on social media to a new friend. Try writing, “It was great to meet at the baseball game. Hopefully I’ll see you at the next one.”
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    Spend time together. After you follow up and receive a response from your new connection, schedule some time to spend together. This could be as simple as having coffee with a new work colleague, or asking your soccer teammate if she’d like to carpool to next week’s game. Put it on your calendar and prioritize strengthening the relationship by spending time together.[9]
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    Stay in touch. It’s important to keep up with connections even when you’re not spending time together. Don’t overdo it. Use their responsiveness as a guide for how frequently they like to stay in touch.[10]
    • Email a professional contact and ask, “How is your work on the new project going?”
    • Text your new friend and ask, “How did your Spanish exam go?”


  • We don’t always “click” with people we meet and that’s okay! If you don’t feel a connection, don’t force it. Chalk it up to experience and move on. The world would be much less exciting if we were all the same.

Article Info

Categories: Conversation Skills