How to Build Confidence by Facing Your Fears

Self confidence is belief in yourself. It is your ability to trust your abilities. The reason for lack of self confidence can almost always be summed up in one word: fear. This could be fear of embarrassment, fear of rejection, fear of criticism, fear of failure, or one of many other kinds. The key to building self confidence is to face the underlying fear, and to practice doing that until you have successfully conquered the fear. This guide will teach you several practical tips.


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    Practice reacting aggressively and positively towards fears in your imagination: Do this every time fear creeps into your imagination. See yourself reacting aggressively and positively towards those fears. It will be a matter of time before those reactions extend to reality when those or similar situations show up in your actual, day-to-day life.
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    Take risks and set out to do what your heart desires. As Lee Ann Womack says, when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, choose to dance. The single most important thing you can do to build self confidence, is to go ahead and do what you fear.
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    "Act as if it were impossible to fail." Those were Dorothea Brande's words. When you set out to do what your heart desires, follow her advice; and as Nike says, "Just Do It". Know that it can be done, and you can do it; you just need to invoke that ability in you that will enable you to do so. If a mistake does happen along the way, do not dwell; just correct your actions as you go along.
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    Relax your fear away. Psychology studies suggest that it is impossible to feel fear when the muscles of the body are kept perfectly relaxed. The moment you recognize fear or anxiety creeping in during a situation, identify those tightening muscles and focus on relaxing them.
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    Substitute the feeling of fear with another "positive, feel good" feeling: Think about anything that strikes the chord and leaves you with a pleasant taste. Capture the feeling, and replace fear with it. As soon as you identify a negative thought creeping into your mind, change your internal dialogue to reverse the thought and put a positive spin to it. The moment you identify any irrational "what ifs" in your mind, replace them with "I'll handle it" or "It can be done" or "I'll figure it out".

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Categories: Building and Maintaining Self Confidence