How to Become a Tumblr Boy

Four Parts:Becoming a Member of the Tumblr CommunityBuilding a Foundation: Hygiene and Body ImageThe Fashion Fundamentals – The Boy BreakdownThe Room

As Tumblr continues to be a melting pot of differing ideals, fashions, and attitudes, it continues to grow in popularity among teens. Finding funny quotes, inspiration, and motivation among its photos and links, a new “sub-culture” is emerging from within its depths. “Tumblr boys,” by definition, are portrayed as a slightly sub-breed of hipster, with a smattering of pop culture and sports impedimenta; they are fun-loving, romantic, and oh-so-cool. Slightly ne’er-do-wells, these laid-back and amiable teens seem to coast through life, at least as far as the viewer is concerned. Does this lifestyle appeal to you? There have been more than a plethora of guides concerned about female fashion and “outlook”. It’s time for the guys’ turn.

Part 1
Becoming a Member of the Tumblr Community

  1. Image titled Become a Tumblr Boy Step 1
    Sign up for Tumblr. This is obvious; how are you going to be a Tumblr boy if you don’t have access to the right materials? You won’t. Easy answer. Sign up as follows:
    • Go to the main page of the Tumblr website. Click the sign-up button. This will redirect you to another screen with the email and password requirements, just like on every other site you visit.
    • Enter a legit email address, and choose a unique URL. Try to pick a name that someone would be more likely to remember; don’t go and use a bunch of symbols – people won’t remember that. If it’s possible, pick something that is derived from another language, or is a play on words in your own. That way, it will be intriguing to other people, and they will be more inclined to inquire about it. Don’t worry though – if you think it’s crappy, you can always change it later.
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    Pick a theme, or create your own. There will be a myriad of themes thrown at you at first; if you are overwhelmed, pick a basic one for now – as above, you can always change it later. Pick a theme that correlates with your own interests; if that means you have to make your own from scratch (although that takes skill in coding), so be it. This is an extra terrific idea, since if your blog catches on, people can request to use your theme.
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    Make original posts. The most used and cliché thing you can hear about Tumblr is “make your posts unique!” Even though it’s not very unique to make them unique anymore, it’s still important. Even if you are trying to show off for other people, you are still the one making the posts and uploading the content. If all you do is repost, then not only will that tarnish your blogging rep, you’ll be as bland as a banana – and people will look right through that. As the wise How to Be Tumblr Famous puts it: “You can make original text posts. This means writing meta about television shows or books, if that's your niche, or dissecting bad literature. It means putting your opinions and your ideas out there for people to see. That may seem scary, but, even if people don't agree with your ideas, they'll still be engaging you and then other people will see and be intrigued.”
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    Once you have your niche, be consistent about blogging. With the amazing feature of the queue, you can post even when you’re not around. Posting new, fresh, and original content is a must, no matter if you’re a scientist or a sociologist.

Part 2
Building a Foundation: Hygiene and Body Image

  1. Image titled Become a Tumblr Boy Step 5
    Try to eat healthy. Taking care of your body will become a breeze if you follow this simple rule. Chugging a one-liter of Coke and downing 25 pizza rolls after school every day won’t help you on your road to Tuml-boydom. Having a lean it fit body is essential.
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    Be clean. That means taking a shower every day, plus washing your face after school – especially if you are acne prone. Tumblr boys usually are devoid of acne, so get that treated first thing. There are so many products out there that there should be no reason for you to suffer through it.
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    Clear up the acne! As there are so many products out there to help this, it’s unnecessary to sit and suffer through it. Here are some tips to help you out:
    • Wash your face twice a day with a cleanser. Force yourself to wash your face with a mild cleanser twice a day – no matter how you feel. This will be the first step in diminishing acne, and you’ll be able to see results.
    • Exfoliate your skin. Most guys seem to think things like these are for sissies – and they’re right -- about sissies that have great skin! This is imperative that you do – exfoliation is next to cleanliness, you know. A mild exfoliate works to slough off your dead skin cells that conglomerate on the surface of your skin. There are many homemade solutions, as well as bought.
    • Use products with benzoyl peroxide. Don’t waste your money on the more expensive brands like Proactiv – you can get the same result from going to your local drugstore and picking up a bottle of benzoyl peroxide for less than a fifth of the cost.[citation needed] Look for crèmes or lotions that contain 3% or less of benzoyl peroxide.[citation needed]
    • Don’t forget the toner and the moisturizer. Use the toner after you cleanse, and the moisturizer after you’ve put everything on. Your skin will thank you!
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    Brush and floss every day. Many a boy exists who is too tired or lazy to take the time to do this. Don’t be a victim of the Tragedy of the Commons. Secure your future molars now with an insurance policy of two minutes in the bathroom.
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    Build some muscle and obtain abs. Get enough protein, gain some weight, and work out. To be a Tumblr boy, you need to have muscles. Failing that, abs. If you’re scrawny, buckle down, eat more and gain weight. Here is a great article on this.

Part 3
The Fashion Fundamentals – The Boy Breakdown

  1. Image titled Become a Tumblr Boy Step 10
    Break down the common Tumblr boy into his components.
    • First up: hair. If he is black, it is usually shaven with only a little hair left; that usually looks best. If he is white, and doesn’t have über-curly hair, then he can do a lot. Many Tumblr boys do a faux-hawk, while others have a tousled look. Do what looks best to you; if you think bedhead is cool, go for it. Just make sure you have your Obey snap-back on.
    • Face. His face is usually devoid of acne. Though, there are some that can own up to their acne (especially if they’ve had hard struggles with it) and make it their own – a signature of them. If you can do that – and pull it off – kudos to you. The earring of choice, if you do choose to wear one, is faux diamond.
    • Shirt. Usually something ironic, hipster, or sport-related. Graphic sweatshirts are good, along with anything Hurley. Obey is fine, and tanks tops are a must. So are tacky sweaters and anything plaid. Hoodies are good, too.
    • Pants. Skinny jeans are a staple, as are white skinny jeans. Sweatpants, if worn correctly, are an option, as are slim khakis.
    • Shoes. Nike, Jordans, and Vans are the most popular. Any shoe will work really – no one will be seeing much of them anyway.

Part 4
The Room

  1. Image titled Become a Tumblr Boy Step 11
    Start posting. Now that you walk the walk and talk the talk, you might want to post the post. That means, if you’re gonna start acting like a Tumblr boy, an official rule is to take oodles of selfies per day in your room. But you can’t do that if you don’t have the proper accommodations!
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    Have a wall collage. Take photos from your adventures and escapades and print them and put them on your wall. That is one “strangely specific” aspect of Tumblr rooms that can be pin-pointed. This includes wall-murals, and “inspirational quotes.”
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    Hang Christmas lights. Not only will this make your room cozier, it will look cooler, as well. Get creative––you don’t have to use Christmas lights if you don’t want to; there are many other options to choose from: LED, lava lamps, track lighting, and so forth.
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    Use garish and unconventional furniture in your room. Because it clashes so horrible with your room, it is bound to make an impression.

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