How to Become a Knight Errant

Knight errantry is a noble, but sadly uncommon endeavour in these degenerate times. By following these simple steps, you too can travel the world with your armor and your horse, righting wrongs and thus earning eternal renown.


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    Find some armor. You could start by checking your attic; perhaps a crusading ancestor has left something there to rust which a little polishing can make perfectly serviceable. If this is not the case, do not despair. Try the local antiques shop. If that also fails you, an old bathtub will suffice. If your ancestral plate still lacks some essential necessary, for example, a helmet, this can easily be improvised using tin foil, or an empty washing up bottle.
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    Get a sword. Again, your attic or the local antiques shop may be helpful. If these fail you, consider using a spear instead. Many noble knights have used spears.
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    Name your steed. Ideally this should be a horse, but a motorcycle is an acceptable modern equivalent. The name of your steed should be grandiloquent, noble and sonorous, as befits the creature whose destiny it is to endure the spurs of the greatest knight of history. A good name for a horse would be "Tontasiento", a bad one "Buttons". Do your research on the history of these times and names.
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    Take a knightly name yourself. This should include a "Sir", so that all are aware of your chivalric intentions, and a suitable nom de guerre. It is customary to append the name of your town or area, so that your glory will redound upon your former residence. As a knight errant, your new home will of course be the open road, and your new neighbours the world. As an example, consider "Sir Carson of Milton Keynes".
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    Find a lady to love. A knight without a lady-love is a tree without leaves or fruit, a body without a soul. It is essential to the role. It is not necessary for the lady so chosen to reciprocate your feelings, or even to be aware of them. In fact, it is essential that she not reciprocate it; it is the lot of a Knight Errant to be cursed with an unkind love. One thing to bear in mind is that you must defend the honour of your lady love with your life, and suffer none to insult her with impunity. It is therefore advisable to make choice of as virtuous a damsel as possible. Be certain to send any giants you happen to defeat in your travels to pay homage to her.
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    Be dubbed a knight. Ideally your induction into the orders of chivalry should be performed by a queen, but in practice any woman will do. Remember, on the inside, she's a princess!
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    Leave your former habitations and take to the open road. Defeat any giants you encounter, assist the needy, and be prepared to uphold your profession and the honour of your lady with your strong right arm, if necessary.


  • Do not forget to carry money and provisions. These may be rarely mentioned in novels of chivalry, but that is only because their presence is held to be self-evident.
  • Should you find yourself lacking in adventures, recall that enchanters walk the world. Hence what may appear to the untutored eye a mediocre or insipid prospect may in reality be something quite different. For example, an inn may be a castle, a flock of sheep an army, etc.
  • Be prepared to endure hardship and adversity, particularly from those who do not understand your calling. Should you receive a beating, remember, first, that you are the mightiest knight alive, and thus they must have been enchanted, and, second, that it is the lot of the knight errant to experience discomfort, and this only increases the glory accruing to your eventual victory.


  • Windmills tilt back.
  • The punishment of those convicted by the law may seem unduly harsh, but criminals are notoriously ungrateful to those who attempt to redress their grievances.

Things You'll Need

  • Steed
  • Sword
  • Lady love

Article Info

Categories: Cosplay | Courteous Presentation