How to Become a Great Chatter on the Internet

Chatting on the Internet is an art whose craft is under appreciated and rarely even acknowledged. This how-to will show you how you can hone your chatting skills and become a chatter of great prosody and renown. Let's get started!


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    Prepare for the chat experience. Have you read the latest news, checked social bookmarking sites like Reddit and Digg? Are you familiar with common Internet humor-memes? These are the raw materials on your workbench of chatting. Without these fundamentals, your chat will be overlooked and can even be dangerous to you and your computer.
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    Wield your chat equipment. The standard productivity suite for internet chatting is called "mIRC". Be sure to use the latest version so that you won't be "hacked". Before connecting to a chat site, be sure to customize your chat environment with colors and fonts that are conducive to rapid cognition and production of high quality chat prose.
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    Know your chat environment. Chat rooms, or "chat channels", come in a great many different sorts. The "chat-world" channel and the "mp3" channels are as different chat ecologies as rain forest and steppe on Earth. Understand that your audience may be looking for casual chats about blogging or they may keep quiet until they're abuzz with the release of the latest Internet software.
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    Begin chatting. The only way to taste a peach is to bite into it. Sniffing will only get you so far, whether it's a chair or an organic fruit. Make jokes and humorous observations, and be sure to share any new links that you've found while chatting. Sharing the latest "funny website" is an important part of Internet chat intercourse.
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    Keep an eye on the time. Chatting can really whisk the hours away. With the twenty-four hour flow of information from Internet websites, blogs, and Internet files, there's always something to chat about. What's more, chatters from around the world are always providing fresh perspectives and insights. That's what makes chatting so fun. It's always fresh and challenging!
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    Be self-aware and shoot for the next level in chatting. You're a chatter now. But are you a great chatter? If you followed these steps carefully, you have an excellent chance at becoming one. Keep focused on the fundamentals mentioned above, and keep your tools polished. Invest time in discovering the best sources of Internet news and humor. Good luck and work hard!


  • Remember to stay hydrated.
  • Don't ever put "haha ok" or "lol" or anything like that. It just kills the conversation
  • Be flexible -- experiment with different chat communities and chat approaches. The many-splendored flower of internet chat has as many flavors as Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Daaz combined. See if you can try them all!
  • To prevent serious injury, perform finger stretches before chatting. 10-30 minutes of good stretching will suffice.
  • Keep your internet chat productivity suite updated by regularly visiting Microsoft Update.
  • Remember, while social bookmarking websites like Digg and Reddit will have new and important content to have had read, most of the Internet will have already seen it by the time you do. Do not post links from these sites unless ridicule and painful verbal barbs are to your taste!
  • To ensure a comfortable chatting workspace, be sure to adjust the height of your chair so that you sit at a lower height than your keyboard.


  • Chatting on the internet can be addictive. For great chatters, it is even more so. Pace yourself and remember to maintain your social contacts in real life.

Things You'll Need

  • Internet chat productivity suite
  • Blinds/shades to maximize screen contrast for optimal chat assimilation

Article Info

Categories: Email and Instant Messaging | Internet Forums and Message Boards