How to Beat the Oxford University Admissions System

"How do I get into Oxford University?" "What grades do I need to get into Harvard?" "What does it take to get into Cambridge?" The answers to these kinds of questions are too valuable to be anything other than free according to Get into Oxford Ltd (


  1. Image titled Beat the Oxford University Admissions System Step 1
    Research your college's political leanings. Sometimes the brightest applicants fail to secure places at their first choice of University. This is because the admissions system can be so heavily bureaucratic and politicised that only the dullest and most pedantic applicants stand a chance of persevering through what has to be the most uninspiring process known to man. State school students are preferred on the basis of their inferior education (despite the fact that they have been academically helped by their money scrimping parents while the privately educated counterparts spend all day playing sports before dashing off an essay). Find out if the college prefers state of privately educated applicants. Class is important in England.
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    Don't waste any time proving that you deserve a place. So how is the playing field to be levelled? How is it possible to ensure that those that 'deserve' to get the place, get the place. The answer is very simple. Nobody deserves the advantages that attend going to a world famous university any more than a Lord deserves his hereditary peerage. The advantages are too extreme for anyone to deserve them. Besides this, who gets to say who deserves what?
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    Make sure you want it. The only thing Get into Oxford Ltd. ( can hope to do is make sure that those who want to go to get to go. Desire can be the only fair measure of a person’s deserts. If a scholar has that burning desire to excel, this is the force that will drive their success and this is what justifies it.
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    Make sure you don't let them know how much you want it. However, ironically, this is the one thing the scholar must not reveal to the admissions tutors who are considering his application. The worst answer you can give to the idiotic meritocratic dishonest question asked in interviews (‘So, why do you want to apply to Oxford University?’) is ‘Because it’s Oxford University, of course – duh. Oh no. The answer you must give is some politically correct nonsense about the Oxford course being structured better than the course at Hull (because, of course, you would just as happily end up in Hull, of course, comrade). You must never let on that you believe Oxford University to be better than any other university. This is all part of the hypocritical little game that many many admissions tutors like to play because, of course, they believe that they deserve to be in Oxford.
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    Prepare some model answers. The model answer to the half-wit question is one that focuses on the particulars of the course in question. This is to ensure that the people who genuinely care more about their academic subject than their status (i.e. those on the aspergic spectrum) will get in. So, advises you to go to your interview at Oxford looking a little bit 'special'. Not too special, but just enough to lend credulity to the socially preposterous answer you give to this crucial question designed to root out the honest normal applicants from the insects.
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    Avoid sincerity. Any sincere open or humble answer to the question 'Why have you applied to this gorgeous old elitist college instead of the skanky modern low status one' like ' because my Dad went here' or 'because the architecture is beautiful' should be avoided. Say instead something like 'because I have a fear of heights and this college has accommodation on the ground floor.'

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Categories: Applying for Tertiary Education