How to Be Loved by Your Family

Four Parts:Airing grievancesSpending more time togetherLooking inwardBeing sincere

Family is the most important thing in the world. Sometimes it can be hard to get along with them, but sometimes we love them. Here are a few tips and pointers that would help you have a better relationship with your parents and siblings.

Part 1
Airing grievances

  1. 1
    Talk to family members with whom you're experiencing problems. Talking about the problems in an attempt to clear things out will help you to better identify the actual problem as perceived by the family members in question and can get all of you started on making amends.
  2. 2
    Ask someone who is neutral in any dispute to arbitrate. They can act as the go-between and come up with suggestions for moving ahead on impasses.
  3. 3
    Realize that in some cases, people are wedded to their hardship or self-piteous story of things. In this case, you aren't going to change their perspective but you can change your reaction to their griping. Acknowledge their concern, validate their importance but stop putting yourself in the position of being an adversary to their problem. They have problems but you aren't going to be either a part of those problems or a solution. Stay polite and kind.

Part 2
Spending more time together

  1. 1
    Think about how much time you spend with your family already. Is it sufficient? If not, what can you do to improve things and make more time to spend together?
  2. 2
    Arrange times when you all have freedom to do things together. Go on a picnic, visit a museum, go to a sports match, etc. Use joint interests to arrange fun things to do together on a regular basis.
  3. 3
    Simply hang out together. Listen to music, read, watch movies or TV, garden together. Everyday activities can be a way of spending more time together and making things more interesting for one another too––use chore time as a chance to talk and catch up on each other's news.

Part 3
Looking inward

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    Consider what you might be contributing by way of disharmony. Are you being difficult in certain ways? Are you making things hard for certain family members on purpose? Do you back talk to, refuse to be supportive of or dismiss concerns of family members? If so, think about why you're doing these things and what you might be able to do to turn these things around.
    • Does that family member really deserve your demeaning or thoughtless treatment?
    • Notice the mistakes you've made in the past and don't repeat them.
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    Improve yourself. Improve your attitude and work on the things that family members comment on. Perhaps there is a nub of truth in their complaints about your grades, your work attitude, your commitment to a relationship or your lack of goals. Don't presume it's all nagging and pushiness. Some of what they are saying is most likely for your own good, in that they're trying to protect you from life's hardships and motivate you to be the best you can be.

Part 4
Being sincere

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    Let your family know that you are trustworthy. In turn, expect them to be the same. Set the standard by being trustworthy and trusting them.
  2. 2
    Avoid gossip, rumors and talking behind backs. Attempt to be rock solid in the face of the outside world, so that people perceive your family members as a supporting unit. There are enough people ready to make life tough for you without it starting at the home front too.
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    Show respect. Follow the give respect and take respect policy; even a basic thing like saying "good morning" each day will make a big difference.
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    Be helpful. Help your family members out. If your parents come home late at night after work; try to make a simple dinner such as feta cheese salad for them, instead of making your mother cook for you again. If your sibling is not doing well at school, show him or her how to succeed with the subjects. If your cousin is getting bullied, explain ways to cope. If your grandparents are struggling financially, discuss the options for downsizing and budgeting with them.
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    Be as independent as you can be for your age without being an island. For example, don't ask your father to wake you up in the morning; instead set an alarm clock beside your table. Or, don't expect your parents to bail you out financially all the time, especially not as an adult.
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    Love your family. It's your parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. You know what will make them happy, so do your best to try and achieve that regularly.


  • Try not to harp on at family members about something that they disagreed on before. Try to figure out the reason why they're against an issue and sort it out with them.
  • When your family members are free, ask them if you could go out together to a park or something, to have more time together.
  • Try cooking meals together, then eating meals together.


  • Avoid comparing yourself with other people. If you start this habit, your family will also do the same because you suggested it in the first place and keep talking about it too.

  • Never ignore family members just because they scolded you; either they must be in a bad mood or your mistake must have affected them badly. Think before you speak.
  • Just because you want to be loved by family members does not mean that you have to act all lovey-dovey to get their attention. It will annoy them to the core.

Article Info

Categories: Family Life