How to Be Less Withdrawn

Every time you go to a party, you just try to find a way to make yourself less noticeable, while social butterflies spin around, making new friends and having fun. You wish you could be one of those people who can have a great time with other people around? Read on!


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    Try to find enjoyment in being with someone else. There must be someone you like and want to spend time with; maybe a family member, an old friend or your spouse. At first, don't try to look for this enjoyment in large groups; it will most likely make you feel uncomfortable. Practice your social skills with this person; talk about random things, try telling a joke once in a while, even if you're not used to it; just relax and enjoy the conversation.
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    Be more confident. The main reason people are withdrawn is because they don't feel like they're good enough to expose themselves to others. Find out which are your insecurities and try to get over them.
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    Try to feel comfortable in any kind of social gathering. The first social environment you should begin with is, naturally, school/work. The fact that you have a job to do there, one that would be best accomplished by collaborating with others, forces you to break out of your shell and interact with these people. Remember, it's not only about your social life, but also about your work. Have confidence in your skills and in your capacity to do your job well, and this may improve relationships with your colleagues, too.
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    Involve your friends in your hobbies and pastimes. You like to go to the cinema? Don't do this by yourself; call a friend and ask him/her out. You enjoy jogging? Surely there's someone in your list of acquaintances that likes jogging, too. Withdrawn people tend to do much more things by themselves; therefore, they usually lack enjoyment in doing the same things with others.
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    Make more friends. You surely know people that are really cool, but you're not really that close to. Try befriending them; you have nothing to lose, right? Or, if you completely lack any kind of acquaintances, try starting to practice a sport or signing up for a club. You'll have the opportunity to meet other people that have the same hobbies as you.
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    Spend more time around extroverts. Notice their behavior, the way they talk to other people, how open they are to others. Take them as examples and try to apply these tricks in your everyday life.
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    Encourage yourself to speak up when you're in a group of people. If you really believe in what you are about to say, then it's surely worth listening to and people will actually appreciate your comment. Once their eyes are on you, don't panic. Before saying something, repeat the sentence in your mind to make sure it sounds okay, then just say it; calmly, confidently, without getting nervous. Speak loudly and clearly, so people won't ask you to repeat what you just said. See? It's not that difficult.
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    Don't deliberately stay away from people. You can be withdrawn because you've chosen to. Don't start with the idea that people are generally mean and only seek to make fun of you. When talking to somebody, be nice.


  • There's nothing wrong with being a little withdrawn; introverts are usually people who pay more attention to their inner universe, which is actually a good thing sometimes, as long as it doesn't mess up your social life. It's okay to want to spend much time alone; it's part of the human nature.
  • Be patient. You won't become a social butterfly overnight; these improvements can be noticed only in time.

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Categories: Overcoming Shyness & Insecurities