How to Be Kind and Loving

Two Methods:Being Kind and Loving to OthersBeing Kind and Loving to Yourself

Though you may intend to be a kind and loving person, it can be difficult to do this on a day to day basis. Showing kindness and love to others can feel like a challenge when you are having a bad day or feeling negative towards others. Being kind and loving to yourself goes hand in hand with being kind and loving to others, as your actions of kindness and love will surely make you feel positive all around.[1]

Method 1
Being Kind and Loving to Others

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    Volunteer. One of the most active ways you can demonstrate kindness and love to others is to volunteer your time to a cause or an organization. This will allow you to act on your feelings of compassion and empathy for others, and to feel you are making a direct impact on someone’s day. Volunteering your time, even once a week, will also allow you to focus your energy outwards, towards others, and to connect on a social level with others.[2]
    • Search online for volunteer opportunities using a database:
    • You can also reach out to organizations in your community to see if they need volunteers for an upcoming event, or for a weekly event or program.
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    Be a teacher and a mentor. Another way you can show kindness and love to others is to take on a teaching or mentoring role. This can be on a small scale, where you take the time to teach someone a new skill, or on a larger scale, where you share your knowledge with a group of people as a teacher in a community program or class. You may consider becoming a school teacher or offering up some time each week to act as a Big Brother or Big Sister to a child.[3]
    • You can also share your talents on the Internet by making videos demonstrating a particular skill or ability, making it easy to access for a wide audience. Doing this may only take a small amount of time out of your day, but it will allow you to share your knowledge with others and feel you are passing on valuable information.
    • Often, being a mentor means building a relationship with a person over time and acting as a role model for others. Many teachers become mentors to their students, but you may also act as a mentor to someone you work with or someone you collaborate with on a project. Be open to opportunities to act as a mentor or guide and take the time to share your abilities with others.
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    Be an active listener. Show you can be kind and loving by practicing active listening when engaged in conversation with someone. Active listening means listening and responding to someone in a way that improves mutual understanding. Instead of looking at conversations as competitions or battles to be won, think of conversations with others as learning opportunities. This will show you view conversations as a way to listen attentively to others and improves your ability to communicate with others.[4]
    • To practice active listening, focus your attention on the speaker and let the speaker finish speaking without interruption. You should then repeat what the speaker has said in your own words back to the speaker. Though you do not need to agree with what the speaker said, this will show you understand what the speaker said and are willing to discuss the speaker’s points in a healthy exchange of ideas.
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    Speak with kindness and compassion. Another way to demonstrate kindness and love is to speak to others with compassion and with respect. This applies to when you are talking to someone you know well, such as a parent, a teacher, or a mentor, as well as when you are talking to a stranger or an acquaintance. Focus on responding respectfully to a question, when asked, and expressing your thoughts and ideas with open language. Avoid blaming, shaming, or insulting someone when speaking to them.
    • A big part of speaking to someone with kindness and compassion is also focusing on the positive, rather than the negatives, of a situation. Though it is important to be honest and forthcoming about your feelings and emotions, be willing to also talk about the upsides of a seemingly negative situation or ways that you can solve or fix a problem in your life. Speaking with positivity will make others around you feel positive and energized.
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    Express your gratitude towards others. Though it may be tempting to be selfish or insular, you often grow more kind and loving when you act selflessly and welcoming towards others. Part of doing this is showing your gratitude for the things people do or say to you. Chances are you have been on the receiving end of someone else’s kindness at least once in your life and have benefited from someone else’s compassion towards you.[5]
    • Acknowledge this kindness and compassion by saying “Thank you,” and “Please,” and by telling someone: “I appreciate what you do.” This will show you are being caring and loving to someone who is being caring and loving to you.
    • It can also be useful to take some time in your day to express two moments of gratitude to two people who have acted as a teacher, mentor, or support for you. It could about something very small someone does for you, or something very large. Acknowledging it will make you feel positive about your day and be more willing to act compassionate towards others.
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    Perform acts of kindness for the people in your life. This could be something as small as offering to babysit for a neighbor so they can have a night out or bringing chicken noodle soup to a sick friend. Even small acts of goodwill can go a long way to impacting others in a kind and loving manner.
    • As well, you should try to demonstrate acts of kindness for strangers or acquaintances whenever you can. Though you may not want to give your spare change to someone on the street, offering them a cup of coffee, some food, or even taking time out of your day to exchange a few friendly words with them can have a big impact and show how loving and kind you can be towards others.

Method 2
Being Kind and Loving to Yourself

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    Practice self care. While it is important to support and be kind to others, you should not neglect your own needs. Practicing self care will show you have compassion for yourself, as well as for others. Take time to do ten minutes or one hour of self care, whether it be a long bath, an hour of reading, a long walk, or working on a hobby or craft.[6]
    • Everyone’s idea of self care will be different, but the idea is to focus on your needs so you can also allow time and space to focus on the needs of others. This will ensure you have a balance of reaching out to others and taking care of yourself.
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    Be honest about your feelings and emotions. Part of being kind and loving to yourself is being willing to let yourself feel bad, upset, or angry. Acknowledging your emotions, even if they may be negative, means you can be honest with yourself and can be vulnerable.[7]
    • Once you admit your feelings and emotions, you can work towards a solution or a way to feel better. This may be self care or reaching out to others by volunteering or being a mentor.
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    Be willing to learn from others. Another way you can demonstrate kindness and compassion for yourself is to put yourself in the role of a learner, rather than a teacher.[8]
    • This may mean taking a class on a skill you have always wanted to learn or get better at. Or you may join a club or a group to discuss a mutual interest and connect with others that way. Focus on ways you can learn from others and be open to learning more about subjects you may feel you know everything about. This will then give you the opportunity to demonstrate kindness and love to someone. You can actively listen to their instruction and show gratitude towards them for their advice.

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Categories: Personal Development