How to Be in Harmony with Yourself

If you struggle with self-doubt, low self-esteem or if you just want to improve the healthiness of your thoughts and the congruency of your behavior, then, this article will serve as a way to help you sort through the mental chaos! The goal of the below steps are to help you be more present and in tune with your actions. In order to link thought with behavior, just follow the steps below:


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    Practice visualizing the actions that you are about to perform. For example, as you get dressed in the morning, state in your mind "Okay, I'm putting on my pants, grabbing my wallet/keys/phone" etc. At first, you might think this is silly, but what it actually does is focus your attention on the moment you are in, ridding yourself of distractions, and getting yourself into the habit of being conscience of your actions. Active mindfulness!
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    Move towards using mental imagery to help you perform more complicated tasks. Let's say that you are playing soccer. State in your mind the actions that you would like to perform, and start picturing your ideal movements on the field. Visualization training is used by coaches to enhance their player's performance, and has been proven to be very effective.
    • For example, Cristiano Ronaldo had his abilities tested in the dark. They discovered that his visualization was so effective, that all he needed to see was the ball being passed to him in order to visualize where he would need to be to meet the ball & the maneuvers he would have to execute in order to score.
      • Now the point of this article isn't to tell you how to be a really great soccer player, (although this kind of mindful training is very beneficial for skill acquisition), but to train your mind to be present & focused on only what you are doing.
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    Incorporate a new mental practice that is arguably the most important in achieving grounded harmony: Congratulate yourself on your little wins. This might seem simple, but the amount of people who know this fact and overlook this point is quite astounding!
    • Often we place our concept of our "ideal" self is so far out of our initial grasp that we berate ourselves when we don't meet our high expectations. These high expectations that we set ourselves up against can lead to failure - even when we feel like we have met out own expectations, others will think that it wasn't enough!
      • By using our "ideal" self to push us forward whilst also being our own best support when we improve even a little bit, we stop stagnating and we begin to really make strides of progress! So every time you do something, anything, think about what you did right and let yourself be happy!!!
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    Practice thinking about your actions. Imagine your actions, and you will begin to be more sure of what you are doing in your daily life! When you become your best supporter and congratulate your little wins, you will start moving at a pace you may have never have thought possible.


  • Remember what Christopher Robin said to Winnie the Pooh - there is an immense amount of truth:

    “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think”

  • Any feelings of harsh self-judgement is your ego trying to reject change. Freud noted that while neurosis is damaging and as much as we want it to go away, it is addicting. So be aware of negative self-judgement, remember that feeling terrible about yourself is worse than anything the ego might think out of fear, congratulate on coming this far, and push on. You can do it.
  • Take the small steps to accepting yourself and you will see yourself flourish in time.
  • Keep track of how you're feeling by writing down your progress! In any training, a systematic approach that details where you are improving and where you need improvement is always the best so that you have check points of where you're at!
  • Behavior guides emotions just as much as emotion guides behavior, so if you smile & behave happily you will quickly feel genuine happiness radiating from within - it is a bit of a conundrum but can be explained by the fact that all our gestures are anchored to our feelings already!


  • We can be our worst enemy sometimes, but that negativity comes from fear, so it is really important that you make it a point to be nice to yourself against any stubborn wish that inhabits you. Remember that you are not your thoughts or your feelings, you are the one thinking and you are the one feeling so you can either allow them to effect you or have them brush off your back!

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Categories: Emotional Health