How to Be Happy Being Yourself

Five Methods:Be Happy With Who You AreBe Happy With How You LookBe Happy With What You DoBe Happy With Who You KnowBe Happy With Where You Live

You may think it's impossible to be happy being yourself. Every day, it's easy to wish you looked like or acted like someone else, or had the cushy job or great boyfriend that someone else has. However, until you learn to accept who you are and work to address your flaws, you'll never grow as a person. Once you follow these tips, you'll find that being happy with being yourself isn't as hard as you think.

Method 1
Be Happy With Who You Are

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    Be confident. Being confident about who you are is the first step to happiness. Recognizing what you love about yourself first will make you much happier to be in your own skin. Start by making a list of all of the things you love about yourself, whether it's your free spirit, your work ethic, or your shiny hair. Here are some ways to improve your confidence:
    • Think of the compliments you get. If people are always telling you you're a great friend, or admiring your ability to find balance in your life, they're probably on to something.
    • Appreciate what makes you unique. How cool--you speak four languages, can walk on your hands, or can instantly make new friends. Not everyone can do that, but you can!
    • Find at least ten things you like about yourself. This should be easy and fun and will make you think about what makes you so great.
    • Minimize your insecurities. Everyone is insecure about something, but if you find yourself insecure about absolutely everything about yourself, you're probably filling yourself with anxiety for no reason. Make a list of all the things that make you insecure and examine which ones are just plain silly.
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    Recognize your flaws. Confidence is the key to happiness, but if you're so confident that you don't recognize where there's room for improvement, you won't be seeing your real self and may be an unpleasant person to be around. Here are some ways to be real about who you are:
    • Accept constructive criticism. If someone is rude or just plain cruel about your not-so-great qualities, you don't have to listen. But if your friend, parent, or even your coworker suggests that you need to work on a certain aspect of yourself, such as your listening skills or your attention to detail, listen with an open mind.
    • Make a list of things you want to work on. Pick a few flaws you want to address and make a game plan for execution. For example, if you feel like you're being selfish, take the time to give back to your community. If you think you're a bit narcissistic, make a concerted effort to spend less time talking about yourself next time you hang out with a friend.
    • Learn to laugh at yourself. Nobody's perfect, and if you can join your friends when they tease you for your foibles, such as your impossibly messy room, or your inability to arrive anywhere on time, you'll show that you don't take yourself too seriously. Remember that you can laugh at yourself while making a note to try to improve---if you're always late, try to get everywhere fifteen minutes early, and you may actually arrive on time for once.
    • Forgive yourself. Let's face it--we've all done something we're less than proud of. Maybe you said something really cruel to a friend, cheated on your boyfriend or girlfriend, or made a major mistake at work. Whatever you did, you should recognize that it was wrong and understand why you did it, but after that, it's time to let it go. If you're so hung up on your past mistakes, you won't be able to focus on the future.
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    Be grateful. Never forget how lucky you are to be you. If you spend so much time obsessing about your flaws and things you want to change, you'll never be fully happy just being yourself. Here are some ways to be grateful:
    • Appreciate your health. If you're a healthy person who doesn't have trouble walking, eating, or sleeping, be grateful! There are many people whose lives revolve around their poor health, and if you're not one of them, don't forget how lucky you are.
    • Be generous. Volunteer in your community, donate canned goods,clothing, shoes and do anything you can to help those who are less fortunate. You can also be a generous friend, son/daughter, sibling, or spouse by doing nice things for the important people in your life.
    • Always say thank you. You should always say "thank you," whether you're thanking your local barista for an amazing cup of coffee or you're thanking your father for always being there for you. Try to say "thank you" for something different at least five times a day!
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    Don't forget to laugh---ever. Laughter is a common remedy for all ailments, and you should always leave some room for laughter in your daily life. No matter how dire your life may seem at a given moment, never forget to take a break to laugh. Not only will you feel better, but you'll live longer. Here are some ways to remember to laugh:
    • Be just plain silly. Tell a corny joke, make a bad pun, or just dance around like a fool. Why not?
    • Watch a comedy or a comedian. This will make you laugh and can cheer you up.
    • Be around people who love to laugh. Laughter is contagious!
    • Never go a day without laughing. If you've had a really bad day and spent most of it with an upside-down smile, play with your kitty, watch your favorite comedy sketch on TV, or listen to your favorite goofy song. If you have to force yourself to laugh, do it!

Method 2
Be Happy With How You Look

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    Love your body. Feeling good about your body can go a long way in helping you be happy with who you are. Paying more attention to what you eat and what you do for exercise can dramatically change how you feel about your body, not to mention how it looks. Here are some things to try:
    • Exercise. You don't have to develop an exercise addiction to look and feel healthier. Just working out for thirty minutes a few times a week can help increase your energy, improve your cardio, and can make you feel better about yourself. Try yoga, running, biking, or join a soccer or volleyball team. Find what type of workout works for you and stick with it.
    • Eating healthy. Improving your diet can help your mind and body. Having a good balance between fruits and veggies, proteins, and carbs can help you feel healthier and more in tune with your body. It's okay to indulge in the occasional trip to a fast food restaurant or to have an ice cream sundae, but having too many processed or fatty foods will make you feel tired or sluggish.
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    Love your face. Unless you're living in a cave, it's pretty hard to go a few hours without looking at your own face, so you'll be a much happier person if you like what you see. Push any insecurities aside and learn to love what your face looks like. Here are some tips:
    • Focus on your favorite features. You may not love everything about your face, but you should be able to pick one or two things, like your eyes or your lips, that stand out. When you look at yourself, remind yourself how great this part of you looks.
    • Take care of your skin. Washing your face daily and using face-friendly lotion or moisturizer can give your skin a healthy glow and will make you much happier to look at your own reflection. If wearing makeup makes you feel good, go for it!
    • Smile, smile, smile! The more you smile--even if you're only smiling at your own reflection--the more approachable and friendly your face will look.
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    Love your wardrobe. Being happy with what you're wearing can make or break how you feel about your appearance. If your clothes are dirty, don't fit well, or just don't look right, it can affect your mood and overall happiness. Here are some ways to love your wardrobe:
    • Have a few key items that you adore. Just like loving your eyes can make you love your entire face, having a favorite pair of jeans, a beautiful knitted sweater, or a trendy scarf can really help you feel good about how you look. You don't need a wardrobe overhaul--just a few items that really stand out can make the difference.
    • Accessorize. If you're a girl, a few key pieces of jewelry, or the right purse, can tie your whole outfit together. If you're a guy, the right belt or watch can really tie your look together.
    • Try new things. You may have a certain look, but mixing things up and going out of your comfort zone by wearing something like a loud pair of pants or neon green shoelaces can make you feel more versatile and spontaneous.

Method 3
Be Happy With What You Do

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    Be happy with your job. Most people spend the majority of their time working, and if you're unhappy with that aspect of your life, chances are it's affecting the way you look at yourself, your world, and your capabilities. Here are some ways to improve how you think about your job:
    • Focus on the positive aspects of your profession. Sure, some of your work may be frustrating or even boring, but pick a few things you love about your job, whether it's interacting with clients or customers, learning new things, or having the opportunity to travel occasionally.
    • Love your coworkers. Take the time to get to know and appreciate the people you work with. You may feel like you have nothing in common, but if you make the extra effort to be friendly, it will make you much more eager to wake up to go to work.
    • Appreciate what your job can do for you. On hard days, remember that your job allows you to put food on the table--and to get health care and paid vacations, if you're lucky.
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    Be happy with your hobbies and interests. It's important to be happy with your job since it may consume a lot of your time, but it's equally important to have hobbies or interests to pursue outside of work so you have something to look forward to and so you can be a more well-rounded and interesting person. Here are some ways to do it:
    • Develop your artistic side. Try your hand at writing a poem, a song, or painting. You don't have to be great at it, but you can have fun in the process.
    • Learn a new language. This will make you feel more cultured and it can help you find a great job.
    • Be involved in a team sport. Not only will you get a great workout, but you can make amazing friends.
    • Read the news. Knowing what's going on in the world can help you gain perspective, and will also help you make interesting conversation.
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    Be happy with your routine. You may love your job and hobbies, but if you're struggling to find a balance between work and play or just don't know how to organize your daily life, it'll be hard to be happy with what you're doing. Here are some ways to be happy with what you do on a daily basis:
    • Don't rush around in the morning. Give yourself enough time to eat a healthy breakfast, read the paper, and drive to work to arrive a few minutes early. Nothing will ruin your day than rushing around frantically to find your work shirt, forgetting important paperwork at home, or being stuck in traffic because you left so late.
    • Carve out some "me time" every day. Even if your day is super-packed, make some time for yourself. Whether you're reading a great book during your lunch break, watching your favorite show before you go to bed, or waking up early enough to mediate, making that time for yourself can help you feel centered.
    • Get plenty of rest. Go to bed at around the same time every day so your body develops a routine. Go to bed early enough for you to get enough rest to start the next day on the right foot.
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    Know when you need a change. If you absolutely hate your job or even your old favorite hobbies, you may be better off moving on. Here are some signs that you won't be happy with what you do until you make a major change in your life:
    • If you hate your job so much that you cry on the drive home, feel a pit in your stomach every time you drive to work, or feel abused in the workplace, it may be time to find a new job.
    • Remember that no amount of money is worth a job that makes you hate your life. You may be making millions of dollars, but they will be worth nothing if you can't enjoy your life because you work eighty hour weeks and can't stand what you do.
    • If your old favorite hobby is no longer working for you, move on. Maybe you loved training for marathons for the past decade, but suddenly you dread all of your training runs. Spice things up by finding a new way to work out or spend your time. You're not being a quitter--you're just listening to your mind and body.

Method 4
Be Happy With Who You Know

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    Appreciate your friends. Being happy being yourself won't be worth it if you don't have any friends to share your wonderful self with. Having the right friends can improve your self-esteem, make you feel needed, and can improve your self confidence. Here's how to happiness through your friendships:
    • Treasure old friendships. Your old friends have known you the longest and can help you gain perspective and offer advice that no one else can give you. Be grateful for these friends by telling them how much they mean to you, and making time to see them or at least talk to them on the phone as often as you can.
    • Turn acquaintances into friends. You'll be surprised by how you can always make room for new friends, no matter how busy you are. If you've met someone who you really click with, don't be afraid to ask him or her on a coffee date to see if you can get to know each other better. This can make you much happier, especially if you've moved to a new place where you don't know many people.
    • Dump your toxic friends. If you have a friend who makes you feel terrible about yourself or is so negative that she manages to ruin your mood every time you hang out, it may be time to let her go. Appreciating your old friendships is one thing, but being too nice to say no to people you don't like is another.
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    Appreciate your family. In many cases, nobody has done more for you or knows you better than your parents or siblings. Whether you're off at college, living in a different country, or sharing a house with your family members, it's important to be happy with who they are in order to be truly happy being yourself.
    • Love your parents. Take time to talk to your parents as often as you can, tell them you love them, and think about the things about them you love most. Thank them often. If there's something they did a long time ago that you were too stubborn to thank them for, it's never too late.
    • Treat your siblings well. Remember that your siblings can be your best friends. Even if you sometimes you feel like you and your sibling live on different planets, you still share a common bond of knowing what it's like to grow up in the same place with the same parents.
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    Be happy with your romantic partner or partners. You can be happy with your friends and family, but may still find an empty place in your heart. To be fully happy with the people around you, you have to embrace the romantic aspect of your life as well. Here's how:
    • If you have a great significant other, never forget how lucky you are. Some people spend their whole life trying to find the right person. If you've found that person already, tell yourself and him or her how much your relationship means to you every single day. This will keep things fresh, and will make you happier because you'll never get complacent.
    • If you're single and dating lots of people, have fun. Don't get so hung up on finding Mr. Right or Mrs. Right that you don't enjoy meeting lots of people and going on fun dates. Going on date after date may get frustrating, but if you stay positive, you're more likely to find the right person.
    • If you're single and not looking, that's okay too! If you're not at a point in your life where you want date anyone, whether it's because you're too busy with work or recovering from a painful breakup, tell yourself that that is perfectly acceptable. Don't worry if all of your friends are in serious relationships or if they're always trying to set you up--be happy with who you are and the decisions you're making.
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    Learn to forgive. You won't be able to fully enjoy your relationships if you're holding a grudge or stuck in the past. Learning to forgive the people you love for their past mistakes is the only way to move forward in your relationships. Here's how:
    • If someone has really hurt you, try looking at it from his or her perspective. Your friend may have hurt you with the best intentions, or might not have been thinking clearly, especially if he was going through a dark time. Try putting yourself in your friend's shoes to see if that makes you understand why he or she hurt you.
    • Learn to accept an apology. If your friend, mother, or significant other is truly sincere and sorry about something, learn to accept an apology. Try to move on as best you can. Being stubborn won't help the situation and will certainly not make you any happier.
    • If you were complicit, say you're sorry, too. If you've been hurt, it's likely that you weren't being an angel and played some part in the situation. If you've hurt the person too, then don't be afraid to apologize.
    • Know when you can't forgive. If your friend or significant other did something so awful that you won't ever be able to continue the relationship, know when to call it quits. For example, if you can't forgive your significant other for cheating on you no matter how hard you try, don't force it and move on from the relationship. There's no need to torture yourself to stay in something that has been too broken to fix.

Method 5
Be Happy With Where You Live

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    Love your town or city. As the saying goes, location is everything. You may not be able to move to Hawaii at a moments notice, but you can certainly take advantage of where you live at any given time. Being happy with where you live can go a long way in helping you be happy being yourself.
    • Enjoy nature. Seek out the beauty in your surroundings. If you live in a city where trees are few and far between, find a beautiful park or garden that you can call your own. You can even find a bench or a tree that becomes "your spot" so feel at home there. If you live in a more rural area, find a river, or even go for a hike. Seeing nature can help you live in the moment and be happy with where you are.
    • Enjoy cultural events. Attend any concerts, museum openings, or new movies in your area. This can help develop your mind as well as your love for your city. Signing up for a mailing list at a concert venue can also give you something to look forward to.
    • Take the occasional road trip. If you know of a beautiful waterfall or aquarium three hours away from where you live, take a weekend trip. Knowing that there's an amazing spot reasonably close to you can make you be happier with where you live.
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    Love your neighborhood. Feeling involved in your neighborhood can make you feel like you belong to a community and are part of something bigger. Not only will you be happier because you'll be less isolated, but you may:
    • Go for long walks. If you're in a safe location, going for a long walk in your neighborhood can not only help you think more deeply about who you are, but can lead to a new appreciation of your surroundings. You may find a new coffee shop or restaurant that you never knew existed--it could end up being your favorite spot.
    • Meet your neighbors. Getting to know the people in your neighborhood will make you feel less alone, and will give you someone to ask to watch your cat or water your plants if you're away. Your neighbors will not only make you feel involved in where you live, but they could end up being your best friends.
    • Participate in local events. Attend town hall meetings, book clubs on your streets, concerts by local musicians, volunteer park clean-up days, or any other events that make you feel involved in local culture or politics. You'll feel happier if you're a part of something bigger than yourself.
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    Love your home. Your feelings about your region and neighborhood won't mean much if you absolutely hate coming home. Feeling safe, comfortable, and at peace in your own living space can make the difference between being happy and being completely miserable. Here are some ways to do it:
    • Clean up any clutter. You may not be realizing how much your mess is affecting your overall happiness. Your space doesn't have to look perfect, but you should make a point of keeping a clean dining room table and desk and putting things generally where they belong.
    • Surround yourself with the things you love. Filling your home with photos of your loved ones, souvenirs from your favorite vacations, or paintings of your favorite spots can help remind you of what makes you happy and will make you feel at home.
    • Eliminate any toxic roommates. Never underestimate how much a bad roommate can ruin your mood and life. If you have a roommate who is loud, messy, rude, and generally unbearable, it may be time to part ways. If you live with your significant other and it isn't going well, you're not doing yourself a favor by prolonging the relationship either.
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    Recognize when it's time for a change. Sometimes your location, city, or even home can send so many negative vibes your way that you find yourself falling apart. There are some cases where it may be better to try a new place instead of to try to appreciate where you live. Here are some examples:
    • If you absolutely hate your neighborhood because it's loud, dirty, or just plain unsafe, it may be time to find a new hood--if you can afford it.
    • If your home or apartment is filled with roaches or rats no matter what you do, is generally falling apart, or makes you feel miserable every time you walk through the door, it may be time to find a new place to live if it's feasible.


  • Try-helping others. There is nothing like helping someone else to help improve your self confidence and to make you realize how lucky you are.
  • Respect others.
  • Do something that you love at least once a day, whether it be listening to a song that you love, or dancing in your underwear in your bedroom.
  • Jealousy can poison your life. Try to avoid being jealous of what your friends have--remind yourself that they may be jealous of you, too. Turn your jealousy of your friends' great qualities into admiration.
  • Try to be outgoing. People love it when a person randomly starts making conversation. Don't overdo it though.
  • Don't compare yourself to other people. This will only make you frustrated. Instead of focusing on what others have, focus on what makes you who you are.
  • Always find time to relax and cool down when a possible opportunity passes, also be aware of you're of your friends, if they're willing to say negative things about someone else to you the chances are they'll say the same things about you to other people.


  • If you've tried everything and you still feel deeply unhappy with who you are, you may be suffering from depression and should seek help.

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Categories: Building and Maintaining Self Confidence