How to Be Desirable

Two Methods:Personality DesirabilityPhysical Appeal

Improving your success in life may boil down to choosing the right friends, mates and partners. Your physical appearance and personality traits play a large part in how desirable you are to new people. Review the best ways to optimize your desirability before your next night out or next job interview.

Method 1
Personality Desirability

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    Be relaxed. A carefree attitude is very desirable, because so many people feel stressed and worried. They desire relationships that are positive and worry-free.
    • Try a joke to break an uncomfortable silence. Laugh regularly without covering your mouth to prove you are someone who knows how to have a good time.
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    Be confident. Go up to the other person or start a conversation. Don’t be self-deprecating when you are meeting new people.
    • Say “You caught my eye and I was hoping we’d have a chance to talk.”
    • If you have tried and the person doesn’t seem interested, have the confidence to walk away. Leave knowing that the person is losing out on a chance to get to know you.
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    Foster emotional intelligence. Pick up on physical and emotional cues, such as body language. Someone who has social smarts and empathy is a more desirable partner, because they will care about others’ feelings.
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    Be passionate about something. Employers, family members, friends and partners appreciate someone who has life goals. Whether it’s work, a charity, a hobby or a culture, passion will set you apart from others.[1]
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    Be yourself. Instead of trying to project characteristics that you think another person would find desirable, try not to change how you act depending upon whom you are around.
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    Be self-sufficient. Needy and co-dependent people will turn people off quickly. A man who can cook or a woman with a successful career is very desirable for their independence.

Method 2
Physical Appeal

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    Give thought to your appearance. Don’t leave the house with wet hair, sweat pants or with mismatched socks. Generally, a few extra minutes ironing a shirt, shaving and combing your hair will improve your desirability.
    • A 1997 scientific study found that “self-care” factors had more influence on attractiveness than height, body type or other unchangeable attributes.[2]
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    Foster a sense of style. Invest in clothing that fits your body. You don’t need to buy “sexy” clothing, but both men and women respond to people who are self-aware and present themselves well. [3]
    • Make sure you are dressing your age and accentuating your best traits.
    • If you need help with this step, ask a person who’s style you like where they get their clothes. Ask someone of the opposite sex what looks best on you when you go shopping.
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    Exercise. A person who exercises shows discipline and an interest in health.
    • If you are a woman and you want to work out in order to maximize your desirability, measure your waist circumference and your hip circumference. Divide the former by the latter. Aim for a decimal below 0.8, which is a sign of an hourglass figure.[4]
    • If you are a man and you want to work out to maximize your desirability, aim to have a higher waist to shoulder circumference. Many women and men find a triangle torso more desirable than a flabby midsection.
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    Value your health. Desirability in a mate has its roots in finding a healthy partner for procreation. Eat a healthy diet, get plenty of activity and avoid habits like smoking and binge drinking.[5]
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    Draw attention to your lips. Use lip balm, or if you are a woman, use red lipstick. In a social setting, plump, red lips are attractive and sensual.[6]
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    Give the appearance of wealth. An expensive watch or nice coat may attract someone who is looking for a good provider. Although this might not be a lasting connection, it can lead to more options for partners.[7]
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    Have good posture. Standing up straight with your shoulders back projects confidence, physical health and height. Consider consulting a physical therapist if you find it hard to change your posture on your own.[8]

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