How to Be an Assertive Woman

Would you like to become a more assertive woman, but aren't sure how to pull it off? The steps in this article might help you discover a new level of assertiveness that feels right for you.


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    Be courageous and responsible. The basis of assertiveness is courage and the willingness to take full responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
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    Learn when to be flexible and when to be firm. If you feel you over-commit your time, play with your responses to requests for a week; for instance, turn down every third request made of your time, firmly. If you find that you feel better at the end of the week, keep turning down requests on that basis. If you feel too uninvolved, or side-lined and bored, experiment with different volunteer opportunities in your community, or a job change. The more you interact and play with your responses to different situations, the more confident you will become in your ability to judge the gravity of any given situation and form a well-reasoned response.
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    Openly appreciate the sensibilities and intellect of others. Every person you interact with has a unique perspective, personality, appearance, and life experience. The things that we find in common with others are a delight; the things we do not have in common, we can learn from. Treating others with respect and dignity is a mutually beneficial activity, building confidence and a sense of well-being and belonging for everyone involved.
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    Stand up straight and share that beautiful smile. Good posture and a genuine smile help you breathe and feel better, regardless of your height or the condition of your chompers. Feeling well gives you confidence that others sense and respond to positively.
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    Speak calmly and enunciate your words clearly. People instinctively respond more quickly to those who speak clearly and calmly, even in emergencies. If you cannot be understood easily when you speak, people have difficulty interpreting what you want from them.
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    Learn the difference between assertive and outspoken. An outspoken woman speaks with vehemence and conviction on every topic. An assertive woman speaks only to topics she deems worthy of her time and attention, calmly and confidently. Because assertive women don't sound off on every issue that comes to the fore, people tend to lend more weight to the opinions she expresses, and consider those opinions better reasoned.
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    Appreciate the woman you see in the mirror. There is unique beauty in every woman, whether she acknowledges it or not. A woman's beauty can be marred only by her personality, so play to your strengths and develop a good character that shines in your eyes. It's hard to resist the desires of any woman whose presence fills a room with peace and happiness.


  • Avoid unnecessary conflicts to have a peaceful life and draw others to you.
  • Keep your spirit light.
  • Avoid manipulating people. Ask for what you want and accept what you're given with grace.


  • Resist the urge to bully others. The harm you cause outweighs any benefit you might gain.
  • Be cautious about the groups you join. Many, once beneficial, women-focused groups have devolved into anti-male campaign coordinators and serve no useful purpose.

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Categories: Building and Maintaining Self Confidence