How to Be a Laid Back Bride

Want to avoid becoming a bridezilla and risk losing friends and possibly your fiancé, thanks to over the top wedding preparation behavior? Getting carried away with wedding planning is easy to do. With the number of duties and features that need to be planned, its easy for nearly any bride to go “zilla.” However, you can calm the savage beast that may be trying to take over your wedding. A Zen attitude, help and a little extra planning can help you remain the same sweet bride-to-be and keep “Mrs. Hyde” away.


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    Remember that your wedding is not the only event in the world. Talking about your big day excessively will lead to anxiety and most likely annoy everyone around you. If you can limit how much you gush and obsess you and your friends and family will be much happier.
    • Ask friends and family about what is going on in their lives. Step away from the wedding by getting involved or at least asking about what friends and family members are doing. Support a friend who maybe attempting her first half marathon (or even consider training and joining her) and really listen to your friends when they want to talk about troubles or triumphs.
    • Make a pact with yourself to not try to weave your wedding into every discussion. Although you may be excited and/or anxiety ridden, remember that your wedding is not at the top of everyone’s minds. An occasional reference on what you need to do is o.k., however don’t try to take every opportunity to inject wedding information into each conversation.
    • Stay focused at work. Try to ignore wedding planning while you are at the office. Unless you have an appointment with your florist or wedding planner, leave wedding planning at home. Not only will obsessing over your wedding be annoying to your coworkers and boss, taking your eye off the ball could get you in hot water with your boss--being fired could leave you with considerably less money to pay for the wedding or honeymoon.
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    Redefine your vision of the “perfect” wedding. A bridezilla will make herself and everyone around her insane ensuring that every single detail is executed according to her vision. However is it worth it? Will Uncle Joe really care that your bridesmaid’s flowers were a slightly darker shade of pink versus what you originally chose?
    • Redirect your attention to having the perfect marriage. The party/wedding is only one day. If that isn’t “perfect” why should you care? The point is to marry the person of your dreams so instead of obsessing over the cake or table settings, focus on the life you are about to enter.
    • Give up control. You hired people to handle certain aspects of your wedding. As you hand off these duties give yourself permission to be o.k. with these aspects not being exactly how you envisioned. Your day will be special no matter what so obsessively trying to control every aspect will but a damper on it.
    • Let your budget dictate your vision. Don’t go into debt (or push to go into debt) over a wedding. Before you start planning have a budget and let your budget tell you what you can and cannot afford.
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    Have fun with your bridesmaids. You are about to be a married woman and most likely busy with your future husband most of the time. Now will be a very special moment in your life when you should be treasuring your friendships with your closest pals and not ordering them around like slaves.
    • Give your bridesmaids opportunities to make decisions. The horrible, unflattering bridesmaids dress should be banished and you should let your friends/family members select the dress that flatters their figure most. Consider selecting a color and allowing them to choose something off the rack (so they could wear it again in the future) or suggest they meet at the bridal store to select what they collectively like.
    • Plan relaxing lunches or outings with bridesmaids. Make it a time when you don’t even discuss the wedding or your impending marriage but instead make it a celebration of your kinship.
    • Find ways to laugh at the process. Having a good laugh at the entire process together will not only ease tension but create more of a bond. Consider hitting a comedy club or a rousing drag show to let down your hair and have fun with your BFFs.
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    Remember that your wedding is your parent’s party too. This is an extremely momentous occasion for mom and dad (not to mention your fiancé’s parents). If they have requests or want to invite certain people, let them. Honor your parent’s wishes as they send you off to form your own family.
    • Relieve some of the burden by allowing your parents to handle some of the wedding. If your parents want to be involved, let them. This will allow them to feel more part of the process and will take some of the stress off of your shoulders.
    • Let both your parents and your fiancé’s parents know that you understand that the wedding is stressful for them too. Not only if they are paying for the event, parents may feel stress because in some way they are losing their child. This is a very emotional time for parents so cut them some slack and let them be an important part of the wedding.
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    Avoid any crazy or crash dieting. Want to a one way ticket to bridezilla land? Go on a starvation or crazy diet! In order to take a more laid back approach to the wedding, you’ll need to nourish your body and mind. Avoid over eating but continue to adhere to a clean diet.
    • Avoid excessive drinking. Not only will drinking pack on the pounds, it could lead to erratic behavior. You may want to have a glass or wine or two to ease any mounting stress, but don’t go beyond a few drinks. Also, don't drink more than once every few weeks. Keep your wits about you and avoid hangovers (which can also add stress, especially if you need to be productive).
    • Eat a clean diet. Experts contend that eating a diet free of additives, preservatives and sodium can lend to a more Zen-like, happier individual. Ditch fast food or even dining out more than once a week and dine on fresh spinach salads, cooked kale, lean skinless chicken and fresh fruit.
    • Never take diet pills or aids to lose weight. Not only can they rev up your blood pressure and heartbeat, diet pills can actually make you feel stressed and anxiety ridden.


  • Leave the tantrums to the toddlers. If your flowers don’t come back from the florist perfect or your limo is a few minutes late, take a breath and act like an adult.
  • Exercise every day if possible. Exercise can help relieve stress and contribute toward getting toned (which can alleviate some stress if you are having trouble fitting into your gown).


  • Don’t get so wrapped up in your “big day” that you alienate friends and relatives with your behavior. Remember--it takes a village to throw a wedding. Be grateful for the help and remember to thank people instead of barking orders.

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Categories: Weddings