How to Be a "Snow Bro"

We have all clearly read the "How to be a Bro" article, but this fails to address the distinct character of the "Snow Bro". The native habitat of the snow bro is often of more northerly latitude, and higher elevation than your standard bro. If you want to be a snow bro, follow the steps below and you will surely be attracting snow bunnies at the slope-side bar in no time.

Steps

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    Move somewhere where there are mountains and regular snowfall in the winter. Bonus points if half the town's residents get by on being some form of ski/snowboard bum (i.e. more riding than working).
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    Get steezed out. Bright colors and flat-brimmmed caps will help with this. Bonus points for stylish wrap-around sunglasses. Don't forget the bro bandana as an essential accessory with many uses.
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    Be sure to advertise your style with company decals on your car and board.
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    Get the best snowboard/ski equipment that you can't afford. This will let everyone know that your skills are legit. Don't be afraid to turn to mom & dad for support on this.
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    Tell everyone who sits next to you on the lifts about your gnarliest run of the day. Gross exaggeration is recommended.
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    Refine your park riding skills. This may mean you have to spend every day in the park, even the powder days.
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    Don't be afraid to point out the flaws of other peoples' riding or style from the safety of the chair lift. Using the word "Fabulous" to describe these people is always good.

Tips

  • Always play it safe. Never stray to far from your fellow bros.
  • Incorporate words like"Gnarly," "Stoked," and "Pow" into your language.
  • Check out the "How to be a Bro" article for information on summer behavior.
  • Don't sweat if you don't get any girls. Sometimes a bro just has to live for shredding some fresh pow.
  • When looking at places to move, consider the following towns: Bend, OR. South Lake Tahoe, CA; Whistler, B.C.; Boulder, CO; Mammoth, CA; Jackson Hole, WY; Steven's Pass, WA; Salt Lake City, UT; Woodland Park, CO.

Warnings

  • If you rock the bro style and don't have the skills to support it, you may find yourself the subject of ridicule by legitimate riders.

Article Info

Categories: Snow Skiing | Snowboarding