How to Avoid Party Bullies

Party bullies are those horrid people who gatecrash the party, trash the place, make lots of horrible noise and say lurid things to nice people. Here is how to avoid these party pests in the first place.


  1. 1
    Be careful how you advertise your party. If you issue a blanket invitation, you are asking for all and sundry to come along. Keep your party simple, keep the guest list small and make it clear to friends that it is a small party and there's no leeway for them to invite anybody else.
  2. 2
    Keep the front door locked. This only works if there is no side garden entrance but once all your real party mates are in, it can be an effective method for keeping the party bullies out.
  3. 3
    Leave a note on the door that says the party has been moved downtown or called off due to the house owner's recent contamination with avian flu. Put the address of a local pub instead.
  4. 4
    Have a plan. Tell all your real party mates to be ready to leave should party bullies turn up. Turn off all the lights, collect your belongings and grab the party bullies as you leave, saying the party has moved on downtown. Make sure they're all out of the house before locking it up. At the end of the street, stage a mock argument and pretend to all bust up and go home your separate ways. Instead, secretly meet up again back at the house half an hour later and continue your partying without the party bullies who will have become bored and gone elsewhere. And they won't be passing on the word that your party is still open.
  5. 5
    Last resort. Call the cops. Don't wait and um and ah when the party bullies turn up. Call the cops pronto and let the party bullies know they are unwelcome. When the cops arrive, ask them to close the whole party down. Let your friends know to leave.

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Categories: Parties