How to Avoid Being Clingy During School Years

Having close friends is an essential, especially in the middle school and high school years. But if you find yourself "clinging" to a certain person, you may want to follow this guide.


  1. Image titled Develop Poise Step 1
    Get confidence. People who cling to others usually don't have enough self confidence. They feel that they need to "cling" to people, in order to obtain strong friendships. This is not true, and in order to avoid being clingy, you need to understand that. Make a list identifying all of your good qualities, and put it in a secret place. Avoid including "outside" qualities like your appearance, material possessions, money, etc. This should be a list of things on the inside of you (like your sense of humor, your kind heart, your knowledge, etc.) Know that these are the things people like about you, and that you can get friends who like you for who you are.
  2. Image titled Stop Being Emotional Step 5
    Identify why you cling to this person. Think of that particular person that you usually cling to. Why do you feel like you need to cling to them? Are they more popular, richer, prettier? What makes you need to be friends with them, and spend time with them every minute? Remind yourself that none of these things matter...or better yet, that you actually can possess them if you work hard.
  3. Image titled Enjoy Change Step 7
    Develop new friendships. Get to know other people by joining clubs, and trying new things. Try to have an open mind, and talk to all sorts of people. Anyone could be a good candidate for a friend. Having more friends can help you avoid clinging to just one. It'll also boost your self confidence, as mentioned in the first step.
  4. Image titled Develop Poise Step 3
    Keep yourself busy. If you feel yourself wanting to be with that person all the time, despite these steps, try to keep yourself busy. Hang out with other friends, read a book, enjoy the fresh air. Remind yourself that you don't have to hang out with this person all the time to be a good person.
  5. Image titled Not to Be Shy at a New School Step 1
    Be individual. Try to express yourself in clothing choices, your locker, and more. This will help you develop your own personal style, instead of relying and clinging on others.


  • Just because you are distancing yourself from this person, doesn't mean you can't be friends at all! If this person is kind to you, then continue being friends.
  • Take your time to develop new friendships. You don't become friends with the snap of a finger. Get to know people before jumping right into friendships.


  • After you stop clinging to one person, don't start on another. You are just back where you started.

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Categories: Friendship Problems