How to Avoid Being Bitter (Christianity)

To accomplish living a life without bitterness, is to look at the life of Jesus Christ and what the Bible says pertaining to forgiveness.


  1. Image titled Avoid Being Bitter (Christianity) Step 1
    Do not seek revenge: Jesus gives us clear guidelines in forgiveness - "Father... forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors... Matthew 6:9-13. So we have to forgive others, because we want our Heavenly Father to forgive us, not one of us are perfect, we cannot stay bitter.
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    Do this, otherwise God will "not" forgive us: Matthew 6:14-15 states "if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." We have to do it, if we want God to forgive us.
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    Make a decision to forgive, even if you have been hurt by words or actions of people -- yet you decide to immediately forgive the person, no matter how you feel: Then you say aloud, "Father I choose to forgive this person" and the pain disappears.
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    Take this big step toward obedience, as soon as you have forgiven but still memories of the specific person or incident, e.g.: the pain of divorce, or a horrifying rape comes back to mind -- then you declare aloud: "Satan I 'have already' forgiven this person and 'choose' not to be bitter anymore".
    • Forgiveness is a commandment. Mark 11:25 "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you."
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    Avoid a grudge like: "what that person has done to me is unforgivable" -- but, compare this to what people did to Jesus, the betrayal and the crucifixion. Our situation looks small in comparison to what Jesus has experienced, and yet Jesus said,

    "Father forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing."
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    Remember that Jesus said: (Matthew 5:43-48)
    • "You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’:
      • "44 But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
      • 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
        • But, you know that "God's love is perfect love", but can we ever earn perfection? No! He perfected His gift of love/grace in that while we were still sinners, Christ died [and gave himself] for us so that we may be perfect in His grace -- "perfected by grace".
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    Guard your heart: be careful to whom and what you give your affections; this is an important principle also to avoid getting entangled again, overcome by those things again, or else the end could be worse than the beginning.


  • Stop yourself from having a root of bitterness growing deep within...
  • It is enough: "9 And, He has said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for power is 'perfected' in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell/work in me. 10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9.
  • Read Matthews 18:21-35: The parable of the unmerciful servant, (about great need, greed, great despair).


  • Do not live according to feelings, but according to faith. God will heal broken hearts. We should take the first steps by forgiving by graciousness.

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Categories: Faith and Belief