How to Appreciate Yourself

Many people have a problem with knowing themselves, and realizing how much they have to offer others. They seem to overlook all the good they have also done over the years. By not appreciating their worth, they also do not truly love themselves. Many people nowadays have a problem with themselves.


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    Understand the difference between self-love and self-absorption. If you find it easier to neglect yourself out of a fear of being too self-absorbed, it's important to understand that self-love is nourishing and cherishing, while self-absorption is a form of fantasizing and walling yourself off from other people. Self-love is a form of recognizing the good things about yourself and making the most of those while still reaching out to other people and being part of community. Indeed, it is important to love yourself before you can properly love others. On the other hand, a self-absorbed person finds it very hard to reach out to others because it's always about that person and other people threaten the spotlight they constantly crave.
  2. Image titled Be yourself Step 1
    Be yourself. This doesn't mean putting yourself before others; it means trying to be authentic in relevant situations. It doesn't mean being yourself when to do so would harm your prospects of succeeding in life, such as throwing a tantrum, acting outraged because your sensibilities have been offended or refusing to do something when it doesn't suit you. You need to know when to play by the rules and when to stand up for yourself––there is a difference. Know how to finesse your charm, skills and interactions with others according to the situations you find yourself in all the time.
    • Define your own style. Wear the clothes that you enjoy being seen in, that suit you and that bring you comfort. Being a slave to fashion is really being a slave to the ideas of others. Find your own niche amid all of that conformity.
    • Trust your instincts about what scene is right for you, which people are right for you to be with and what career to pursue. You know yourself best and how to make the most of what you have to offer the world.
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    Remember that you have much to offer others. If you ever feel like curling up and hiding away from others, think about the talents and abilities you'd be depriving other people of. Those abilities are important to the world. Realize that you are important.
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    Appreciate what you have already. Often not appreciating yourself involves chasing after what others have that you feel you need to have too. This can involve envy or it can be about keeping up with others––whatever the cause, you're not being true to yourself when you fail to appreciate what you already have.
    • Take some time to sit back and appreciate all of your good qualities.
    • Know and acknowledge all your positive attributes.
    • Write down all your positive qualities.
    • Speak about all the good you have done when asked.
    • Have confidence in the choices you have made and will make.
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    Speak your mind. This requires knowing what your values are and what you consider matters in life. You can never take a break from working these things out––be a lifelong learner and allow for your own growth to cause you to think differently about things as you grow older. That's how people mature throughout life, rather than being stuck at the age of 16. However, there is a time and a place to speak your mind––as with "being yourself", don't speak out of turn where it would harm others or harm your own prospects in life. Once again, all things in balance and with an eye to the impact.
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    Be confident in your decisions and how you reach out to others. Being viewed as decisive is attractive to people as uncertainty is a constant in life. This doesn't mean that all of your decisions will be right––far from it. But a willingness to acknowledge when you get things wrong and to try again will allow you to make decisions you consider are appropriate for the time and it allows you to get on with things in life. Where your decisions impact others, include them in the discussion and the outcome, showing yourself to be collaborative, considerate and sometimes courageous.
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    Look in the mirror and speak to yourself. Realize that you are who you see. This can help in small ways to know how others see you. However, the real way to find out how others perceive you is to ask those you trust to tell you. Ask them about how they see your decision-making, your presentation of self to the world, your dress sense, your strength in the face of adversity, and so forth. Listen without judgment and learn about the image you're projecting to others. Then consider what you'd like to keep and what you'd like to change about that perception.
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    Learn to love yourself so others will love you in return. Equally, be with others who appreciate who you are. There is nothing more demoralizing than hanging around people who constantly grind you down. Remove yourself from their sphere as much as possible or learn ways to hand back their negativity and patronizing attitudes, showing that you don't need their validation to trust in yourself.


  • Write goals about how you will improve your existing skill.
  • Write goals how you will learn new skills.
  • Show love to your neighbor as you love yourself, share nice things and create gratitude or appreciation, but it won't work to demand or beg for appreciation.


  • Do not lose touch with who you are.
  • Haters or detractors will always exist. They're people who can bring you down or inspire you to rise above––you make the choice.
  • Don't hang around people who constantly demean you and fail to appreciate you. They're the sorts who will drag you down into their mess of negativity and you've enough of your own issues to sort out without taking their issues on as yours.
  • Do not create anger, envy or jealousy by bragging or by showing off.
  • Be realistic. If there are aspects of your personality or abilities that aren't as good as they could be, then work on them. Avoid being so defensive or outraged that you fail to correct that which is within your means to be changed for the better.

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Categories: Building and Maintaining Self Confidence