How to Act Around Girls

Four Methods:Be YourselfBe RespectfulBe PoliteBe Attentive

Talking to girls is intimidating to a lot of guys. But there's actually nothing scary about it. By following a few basic steps, you'll be able to have a fun and relaxed conversation with any girl.

Method 1
Be Yourself

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    Be yourself. Also, try to maintain your self confidence. If you adopt an alternate personality to attract girls, you will eventually be weighed down with the feeling that your true self isn't good enough. It may help to develop and improve your social skills, but any girls who don't appreciate you for who you are don't deserve your attention.
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    Relax. When you are tense or nervous, you will be more prone to feeling embarrassed if you make some minor mistakes. Staying calm allows you to fully enjoy a girl's company. Be careful not to place all your hopes on a single girl, however; it will only make it more painful if things don't work out. Don't let any prior sour experiences prevent you from seeking opportunities that are available to you.

Method 2
Be Respectful

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    Limit your physical contact by the state of your relationship.
    • Acquaintances — A handshake when introducing yourself is probably a reasonable limit for a first meeting. You can also subtly brush your hand against her hand or arm
    • Casual Friends or Prospective Dates — You could try something like touching her hair or playfully poking her in the side and asking if she is ticklish. This is generally considered flirting, and if a girl doesn't appreciate your advances, it's best to apologize and refrain from making similar contact.
    • Good Friends — It is generally acceptable to give friendly hugs to girls that you know fairly well, even if you aren't a couple. Just be sensitive to the girl's feelings about it; pressuring her to hug you will make her uncomfortable.
    • Boyfriend/Girlfriend — When you've grown closer, you can hold her hand or wrap your arm around her shoulders or waist when you're walking together. With her consent, you can also kiss her.
    • Note: Obtaining a girl's consent before hugging or kissing (or other contact) does not necessarily require a verbal confirmation. Pay attention to her body language to ensure that she isn't looking apprehensive or trying to pull away, and don't try to surprise her unless you already know she won't mind.If she's trying to pull away, let her go!!!

Method 3
Be Polite

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    Exhibit good manners. Girls love guys who are polite and courteous. Refrain from doing or saying things that many people consider offensive, including swearing and making sexist/racist/etc. jokes or comments. Saying things that you know would probably offend some people isn't a good way to make or keep friends. If you act like a gentleman, girls will be more likely to welcome your company.
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    Treat all girls equally nice. You stand a much better chance of making a good overall impression if you treat girls that don't interest you just as nicely as those that do. This doesn't mean that you need to talk to or flirt with every girl, but don't ignore them or treat them dismissively. Don't talk to a girl about other girls' attractiveness; it's distasteful and can degrade the girl's opinion of herself. You generally shouldn't talk about past relationships you've had, or other girls that interest you; it detracts from building a new relationship.

Method 4
Be Attentive

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    Give your full attention when you talk to a girl. Make eye contact, and don't give in to distractions. Listen carefully to what she says, and you may learn a lot about her and discover interests that you have in common.
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    Be sensitive to her feelings. If she seems upset about something, don't try to downplay her emotions or dismiss her concerns as being trivial. Sincerely offering sympathy to someone in distress will build trust between you, and it is an effective way to form friendship or gain a girl's interest.
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    Make her laugh. Engaging in lighthearted banter will make it easier to talk about more serious things, allowing you and a girl to learn about each other without feeling as awkward about it. A good sense of humor is one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have, and it will help override any possible negative preconceptions a girl may have about you. Remember, however, that being funny isn't appropriate in every situation, and your style of humor won't necessarily impress every girl.
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    Make her feel special. After making a good first impression, if you hope to pursue a more earnest relationship with a particular girl, you should elevate your efforts to treat her well and express your romantic interest. Offer sincere compliments, flirt, and watch for an opportune moment to ask her out.

Test Your Knowledge

Impress a Girl Quiz


  • Make the first move if you can, girls feel weird when they have to ask a guy out.
  • Don't panic if you do something embarrassing. A lot of girls find that really cute, especially if you are able to recover with good humor.
  • When she's cold, say, "Are you cold?" She'll say, "Yeah, a little." Then you say, "You wanna borrow my jacket?" Whatever the answer, she'll like the offering.
  • Don't be disgusting around a girl (E.G; Farting, burping).
  • Be especially careful in breaking the touch barrier with shy girls. If you know she's shy, take it slow. Very slow.
  • Make slightly flirty comments once in a while, and see how she reacts. If she is accepting and likes it, or feels awkward and denies it that can be a sign - but remember; no means no.
  • Watch her body language; if she's shifting her weight a lot and not making eye contact, she's probably uncomfortable. It may be the conversation topic, how close you are standing or sitting next to her, or something else. Respect her feelings, and change the subject or step back, if necessary, depending on what is bothering her.
  • Don't be afraid to flirt with her. Don't be a pushover and don't use nervous body language.
  • It's important to be confident, but not over-confident! She will think you are trying too hard!
  • It's okay to tease her a little, but generally not about her appearance. If you're not sure she'll take your teasing the right way, try something else instead. Just watch your timing and try not to be too goofy, or you may make a fool of yourself.
  • Don't ask her out by text. Her friends could be reading her texts and the moment could turn really awkward. Also, it makes a girl feel as if you aren't "man" enough to go out with. If you already did this, it's either friend zone or you're on her weirdo list.
  • If no commitment has been established between you and a girl, don't get jealous of her flirting with other guys. She can't be considered disloyal if you haven't even started dating her yet. Also note that such flirting does not by itself indicate that you can't form an exclusive relationship with her at some point, but acting jealous can make it more difficult to cultivate that relationship.
  • Girls like it when you're forward but not in a creepy way. Smile at her in a way that's clear, friendly, and/or playful. If you feel compelled to be totally honest, you can offer a sincere compliment. For example, you could say she has beautiful eyes or a beautiful smile. But, only say things like that if you want it to be obvious that you intend on moving beyond flirting. Select something good that is reserved for her only; it will make her feel wonderfully special, admired, and beautiful.
  • Make an effort to be friends with her friends.
  • If you have a good relationship with a sister close to your age, that can be a model for how to move and speak around girls.
  • If you're the shy type, don't worry. Have a friend by your side if all else fails.
  • On some girls (the ones that like sports) treat her like one of the guys but do not go full on like fake punching act.
  • Try to get to know her better. You can be friends, but just don't be too clingy. She'll be freaked out.
  • If you are still friends with a girl, don't put your arm around her. There are chances you may creep her out.
  • If you see her being bullied then stand up for her and don't be afraid to take a hit, also don't show off on how strong you are when you are defending her, if you do then she will probably lose interest even if she appreciates it.
  • Don't forget chivalry! She will appreciate your efforts to be a gentleman! (i.e. holding doors).
  • During humorous times don't behave in a way with the girl as we do it our normal male friends(for example: bumping her, pushing her) you may do it in a friendly manner but she may hate it....
  • Don't hug her neck/head even as a friendly gesture. Many girls put a lot of effort into their hair, and they will not appreciate you messing it up.


  • If you are in a conversation don't automatically assume that she doesn't like something and trash talk it. It may be a topic she feels very strongly about, and you may accidentally offend her. If you really want to converse about a topic, gradually bring it up in conversation and watch her reaction, if it's positive (she likes it) then trash talking is a bad move. If she doesn't like it or responds negatively, maybe you can do some light chatting about you not liking it, but keep watching her to make sure she isn't uncomfortable or bored with the conversation.
  • Don't be shy. If you are, she'll lose interest because she'll think you're not into her.
  • Don't say mean things about her friends or about the things she likes, such as her taste in music..
  • Don't try too hard. She'll notice.
  • Don't send girls mixed signals or they'll get confused about whether you like them or not. Be subtle, but give her some hints so that she can figure out that you like her.
  • Be especially careful of what you say about her appearance. Don't ever tell her that she looks bad. And try to restrict using words like "hot" or "sexy." Even if said in a joking fashion, things like this can make a girl feel very self-conscious, whether you are referring to her or to someone else.
  • There is nothing wrong with trying to make her feel special long into a relationship, but trying to kiss up to her, especially within the first few weeks of knowing her, will do more harm than good, and you will be labeled more as a friend who tries to buy her attention than a potential mate.
  • Many girls like it when you can't take your eyes off them, but not when you're just staring at their breasts. Although there are some girls that may enjoy such attention, you won't offend anyone by focusing on her face instead. Do not ogle her.
  • Don't be too casual in sharing the details of your interactions with a girl. You should limit the disclosure to really close friends whom you can trust to not tell others. If you treat your relationship with a girl as a form of entertainment for your friends, you will undermine the potential for a deeper and lasting connection with her.
  • Don't say perverted things or dirty jokes. It grosses most girls out and they will not think well of you for it. You may be trying to be funny, but it is disgusting and a huge turn-off.
  • Don't focus too much on one girl if she isn't enjoying the extra attention. She may get annoyed, and it will likely hurt your relationship.
  • If you start feeling sexually aroused, do your best to hide it. Focusing on flexing a muscle for about 20 seconds us usually enough to be rid of an unwanted erection. But don't be too obvious about it. You don't want to bring any unwanted attention to yourself.
  • Stay away from touching the girl, it will most likely creep her out and break your friendship.

Article Info

Categories: Youth Dating