How to Accommodate Your Parent's New Spouses at Your Wedding

A wedding can be quite taxing without blended families to worry about. No matter your feelings toward your Mom or Dad's new spouse, you must incorporate them or risk hurt feelings and eternal grudges. If you're a bride/groom-to-be in this situation, don't tear your hair out! Consider these steps.

Steps

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    Invite them. Include their name on the invitation instead of including them as an afterthought. Even if you call to apologize for forgetting them when dishing out the save-the-date cards and invitations, they may still feel snubbed.
    • Get their name right. If they prefer to go by a professional title (i.e. General, Dr., etc.), don't address them as anything else. If they have chosen to keep their given name after marriage, respect that. And, though it may seem a no-brainer: spell it correctly.
    • Don't put them down, even subtly. For example, putting their name last (if they're a man) or using a nickname or euphemism to identify them when you've taken a formal approach with everyone else will sting.
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    Learn about them. Before you choose a single bouquet, menu item, or possible venue, get acquainted with any allergies or medical conditions your stepparent has, and plan accordingly. Though you don't have to base the whole ceremony on their comfort, do accommodate them. It'll go a long way toward breeding good will.
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    Know their schedule. In tandem with the above, learn their work schedule. Even if you've only invited them out of courtesy and hope they won't come, don't rob them of the opportunity. Know when they're available, so they don't miss a milestone in their new stepchild's life.
    • That being said, don't base your entire schedule on theirs. They can make a few sacrifices; missing a few hours of overtime won't kill them.
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    Talk to them. This may be the most important thing. Include your new stepparent in the planning process, to show them that you really want them to be a part of this event. Listen to their opinions, answer their questions, and really give their concerns proper consideration.
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    Include them in your wedding. They don't have to be your best man or maid of honor, but do give them a role, if possible and desired. Allowing them to participate in, rather than simply witness, your wedding ceremony is the greatest sign of respect.

Article Info

Categories: Weddings